Yeah, you want someone big through the hips…roomy.
I’m presuming this will be written in blood, using a bone for a stylus?
I have lots of tattoos, and a “farmers tan” so hopefully I’m safe…
Well, I guess it depends on how much goth whining one is willing (and reasonably able!) to subject oneself to… Tolerances may vary, but I’d guess even the most hardened unspeakably evil sorcerer would break down and start writing bad poetry about how noone really understands him at some point.
The only thing this thread lacks is “…need answer fast” in the opening line.
Sorry for the late reply—and a hearty thank you to all!
And concerning the issue of stretching…would this be predictable enough that it could be corrected for with some kind of lens if inscribing the unholy miscellanea “in vivo,” so as to minimize the distortions in the finished product?
[Moderating]
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Standards for GQ and MPSIMS are different. In any case, SkipMagic is not a moderator of this forum.
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Don’t drag complaints about moderation of threads in other forums into GQ. If you want to complain, do so in the existing Pit thread.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator.
Just tattoo the edges of each page, and stretch the skin as it cures to the correct size.
Should work.
Si
Most small printing presses need only one operator.
As long as we’re making this volume how long would poisons,hallucogenic drugs soaked into specific pages to affect the unauthorised reader through his touch remain effective?
And how much liquid would be needed?
Oh, I disagree on the rounding. If you add up the values of the letters in the words ‘blood’, ‘evil’ and ‘pages’ (A=1, B=2 etc), they all add up to 48. That quantity is more than appropriate if you ask me.
But that presupposes (sp?) that the Evil Insane Universe-Devouring Entities ™ that the Book Of Horrendous Evil And Doom is going to be dedicated to speak English! What if they speak Xnoglodrian and the number 48 is associated with “happy fluffy kittens” instead?
Well, if we want to deviate from a pure-poisons method (as unromantic as that is) to use biological agents, anthrax spores would probably do the trick nicely. It may not even be without precedent—I’ve heard a few claims that statues of Sekhmet were coated with such as protection against defilers, and the disease has sometimes been associated with one of the plagues of Egypt, which does have a nice poetic ring to it.
I have no idea what hallucinogens would be appropriate for such purposes, though. Or what effect, if any, such chemicals might have on parchment quality or longevity (it simply wouldn’t do to have to keep an Eldrich Tome of Unspeakable Images and Law in a climate controlled, Argon gas enviroment. It just wouldn’t).
Amount of people needed to print a book in human skin? Need answer fast!
:eek: 
“It puts the letters on the skin; it does this whenever it is told” 
I work for a organ and tissue procurement agency- we obtain human tissues for transplant and research.
I did the math: 340 sheets x 307mm x 445mm = 46,449,100 square mm.
46,449,100 square mm = almost exactly 500 square feet of skin. (499.97).
On exceptionally large donors (in the 500+ pound range) it is possible, but rare, to get about ten square feet of donor skin. So, irrespective of shrinkage, and under ideal conditions, it would take about fifty very obese people to get that much skin. More realistically it would take perhaps twice as many people of a more reasonable weight, say, in the 200 to 250 pound range, from whom a 5 square foot recovery is more feasible.
just thought you’d like to know.
This is why I love the Dope. Brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?
No kidding. I told my parents about this thread and they just didn’t get it. Come on, where else could you get a serious and yet non-creepy answer to this?
Here’s Cecil’s column on a related matter.
(I think I just Godwinized the thread. Sorry.)
Your book will have how many footnotes?
Please make the index pages out of index finger skin.
And make the glossary out of tongue skin.