# Amusing conversational lines with no context **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 21, 2013, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090 "2013-07-21T04:29:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![icenine0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/43a26b/32.png) [@icenine0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/icenine0)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/21 "2013-08-03T09:11:27Z")
“If you think about it long enough, it turns out that Tom Cruise is good at just about everything except acting.” ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/22 "2013-08-03T12:50:16Z")
“If I had a nickel for every time I became distracted, oooooh, I want a puppy!” ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/23 "2013-08-03T13:52:28Z")
“Sorry, I may have missed this but whose turn was it to bring the drugs?” ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/24 "2013-08-03T14:32:42Z")
I once walked past an open door at the O.D.'s office i worked in just in time to hear a coworker on the phone saying “Well, if she doesn’t get up by Saturday you’re just going to have to get your gun and shoot her.” I knew she was talking to her husband about a cow that had collapsed after giving birth, but I think if a patient had overheard that it would have caused some … concern. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/25 "2013-08-03T15:18:14Z")
“I’m going downstairs and count how many times I blink my eyes in one minute.” ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/26 "2013-08-03T19:03:37Z")
Today at lunch: “I’m trying to figure out that Giraffe situation over there.” ---
**Author:** ![the\_O](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@the\_O](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_O)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/27 "2013-08-04T01:29:13Z")
I have a 34 inch long pubic hair. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/28 "2013-08-04T01:45:11Z")
“…and that’s when I tried to buy the horse a prostitute.” “I love this guy!” ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/29 "2013-08-04T02:17:52Z")
“So \*that’s \*where THAT was!” ---
**Author:** ![icenine0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/43a26b/32.png) [@icenine0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/icenine0)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/30 "2013-08-04T17:35:42Z")
“Maybe you shouldn’t have sounded so sure about it.” ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/31 "2013-08-05T00:07:01Z")
“She took my dog up into the knobs!” ---
**Author:** ![icenine0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/43a26b/32.png) [@icenine0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/icenine0)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/32 "2013-08-05T00:56:43Z")
“Why do you keep asking me? I don’t know anything.” ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/33 "2013-08-05T01:13:43Z")
The one reply to most of them: “, said the actress to the bishop.” ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Blaylock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_blaylock/32/3235_2.png) [@Bob\_Blaylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Blaylock)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/34 "2013-08-05T02:03:03Z")
“It wasn’t as bad as we’d hoped.” ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/35 "2013-08-05T02:37:52Z")
“I didn’t make it, I just stole it! That’s what a baby burglar says!” ---
**Author:** ![icenine0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/43a26b/32.png) [@icenine0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/icenine0)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/36 "2013-08-05T03:00:06Z")
“No, no, no, you don’t get it…it’s a _really_ good joke.” ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/37 "2013-08-05T03:10:24Z")
“I don’t see why we can’t do it in the back of the car like mom and dad.” It, I believe, was about packing something for a car trip. ---
**Author:** ![icenine0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/43a26b/32.png) [@icenine0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/icenine0)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/38 "2013-08-05T03:40:34Z")
“Maybe you were right the first time–but good luck figuring out which time _that_ was.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/39 "2013-08-05T15:32:30Z")
I don’t think he wants any part of my anatomy inside any part of his. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090/40 "2013-08-05T21:26:51Z")
> [@icenine0](#): > > “No, I’m not being condescending, I’m just pretending to be for your benefit.” > [@EmilyG](#): > > “So it’s a friendship based on glue?” 😛 > [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](#): > > “Sorry, I may have missed this but whose turn was it to bring the drugs?” > [@Doug\_K](#): > > “Well, if she doesn’t get up by Saturday you’re just going to have to get your gun and shoot her.” > [@Bob\_Blaylock](#): > > “It wasn’t as bad as we’d hoped.” > [@marshmallow](#): > > “I don’t see why we can’t do it in the back of the car like mom and dad.” > [@panache45](#): > > I don’t think he wants any part of my anatomy inside any part of his. lolz Note quite the theme of this thread, but here’s an exercise in negatives that a co-worker overheard at a restaurant: “You can’t not say nothing to nobody!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-conversational-lines-with-no-context/664090.md?page=3)