# Amusing customer service stories **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 30, 2016, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-customer-service-stories/761274 "2016-07-30T12:28:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-customer-service-stories/761274/21 "2016-08-01T19:15:04Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Nowadays, some pizza places offer sprouts as a topping. That might have satisfied him. 😃 > > Another Target story: The customer service desk was run by a very kind and patient middle-aged woman (who also had 5 kids). One day, two kids walked up to the counter and asked her to page Harry Crotch, which she proceeded to do TWICE before someone told her why everyone was snickering. some guys [did a whole bunch of these at Heathrow.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44zQRs-taOo) ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-customer-service-stories/761274/22 "2016-08-01T19:48:03Z")
Ah retail management. How I don’t miss it so. One I always remember because I thought it was so funny. I got called up front to listen to a tiny old lady bend my ear about something or other she felt was unfair. She was really worked up about it. A group of cashiers were watching the whole thing unfold. After I gave the lady my final answer of “Sorry, I can’t help you” her face scrunched up, her fists clenched, and she hauled off and punched me as hard as she could in the shoulder and marched out of the store. It was the lightest tap you ever felt. But when she was out of sight I turned toward the cashiers and they were all wide-eyed mouth agape as if they had witnessed a stabbing. Their reactions just completely cracked me up. The really worked up customers were always the most memorable. Rednecks that would wander in from who knows where, start arguements about something, tell you “Yew think yer all that, don cha?” then dare you to take a swing at them or take it outside. Another lady I remember was really worked up and refused to leave the store. It was already 30 minutes after we closed. She wasn’t going to leave till she got what she wanted. Of course we’re not allowed to touch a customer in any way and it’s a hassle to call the cops to have someone escorted out. So I decided to play nice with her and let her ramble on and on. But I noticed that whenever I moved she would unconciously follow me while her mouth never stopped. So I slowly slowly wandered to the front door, gestured to security guy to quickly open it for me, and while I kept her busy with “yes, un-huh, I see” I slowly walked outside. She followed me right out the front door. Once outside I finally interupted her with “Sorry, there’s nothing we can do for you tonight” and I stepped back inside and locked her out. Only then did she realize where she was. She looked at her surroundings and when she figured out what I had done just looked at me through the glass with an evil stare. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2016, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-customer-service-stories/761274/23 "2016-08-02T04:22:49Z")
> [@GESancMan](#): > > About 25 years ago I worked at a pizza place downtown. There was a “homeless hotel” above us, so we got an interesting cast of characters in the store every day. One of my favorites was a guy who walked in and asked if we served hamburgers. I replied “no, just pizza.” > > “Can’t eat pizza,” he said, then pointed as his mouth. “No teeth!” > > He walked out, and we were cracking up. Then a coworker brought up a good point: he can eat hamburgers? I had a good friend years ago who could eat steak with no teeth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-customer-service-stories/761274.md?page=1)