# Amusing headlines
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 3, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834 "2009-07-03T18:23:51Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/1 "2009-07-03T18:23:51Z")
[Mexican midget wrestlers slain in cheap hotel](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31720537/ns/world_news-americas/)
Not to make fun of someone’s demise, but the headline is amusing to me. Maybe it’s because the writer pointed out the wrestlers died in a cheap hotel instead of just saying that the men were killed, or killed in a [non-adjective] hotel. (Maybe they tried to get a room at a nicer place, but were a little short.)
What current headlines do you find amusing?
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/2 "2009-07-03T18:29:51Z")
From CNN: **Boy eaten by lake bacteria wants ice cream**
Now, wait a minute. Mostly eaten!\* ‘Eaten’ implies he was completely devoured!
That sounds more like something from _The Weekly World News_.
\*Actually, they only ate a little.
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### Author:  [@Wisthekiller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wisthekiller)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2009, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/3 "2009-07-03T21:31:00Z")
[http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/19895990/detail.html](http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/19895990/detail.html)
Read it. Best. Headline. Ever.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2009, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/4 "2009-07-03T22:36:41Z")
That’s pretty good. I laughed. Out loud, even.
For the benefit of those who didn’t click the link: **Cross-Dressing Clown Robs Liquor Store**.
😃
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### Author:  [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2009, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/5 "2009-07-04T01:21:06Z")
Than great classic from the NY Post:
Headless Body Found in Topless Bar."
I guess it is better than the other way around.
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### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/6 "2009-07-05T02:24:41Z")
I still remember this one from the 1970s. It was a rag like The Star or The Inquirer sold at a convenience store.
BOY SEES THRU EARS!
I had to forgo my Slurpee to buy it.
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### Author:  [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/7 "2009-07-05T02:29:19Z")
From 2003: [**Fish Talks, Town Buzzes**](http://www.nytimes.com/2003/03/15/nyregion/15FISH.html?scp=4&sq=fish%20purim&st=cse).
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### Author:  [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/8 "2009-07-05T02:36:40Z")
Also, last year there was this guy in Israel who wrestled a leopard that had gotten into his house. It was the middle of the night, and he wasn’t wearing much. _Every single headline_ mentioned his state of dress:
[**Man In Underwear Pins Leopard for 20 Minutes**](http://goodanimalnews.com/pets-animals/398-man-in-underwear-pins-leopard-for-20-minutes.html)
[**Man Clad In Underwear Pins Leopard**](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/28/AR2007052800382.html)
[**Man Clad In Underwear Wrestles Wild Leopard**](http://www.nowpublic.com/man_clad_in_underwear_wrestles_wild_leopard)
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### Author:  [@Desert\_Nomad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Nomad)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/9 "2009-07-05T03:47:25Z")
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
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### Author:  [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/10 "2009-07-05T03:58:13Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#):
>
> [Mexican midget wrestlers slain in cheap hotel](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31720537/ns/world_news-americas/)
The one I saw (Fox News) was even better. WRESTLING MIDGETS KILLED BY FAKE PROSTITUTES
Um…fake prostitutes? If they say they’re prostitutes that’s good enough for me…
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### Author:  [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/11 "2009-07-05T08:23:00Z")
A couple from the San Francisco Chronicle years ago:
**Dangerous Bowling Pins Found in Chicken Coops** - the bowling pins were coated with a plastic that, when burned, would emit phosgene gas.
**Outhouses Preserved for Posterity**
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### Author:  [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/12 "2009-07-05T08:37:52Z")
From time to time, I see something like: “Minister’s wife probed.”
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### Author:  [@amarone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarone)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/13 "2009-07-05T10:03:50Z")
From New Scientist after a group of scientists were confident they could predict the time and location of an earthquake and congregated at the site, only for nothing to happen: **Everyone came but the earth didn’t move.**
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### Author:  [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/14 "2009-07-05T10:39:15Z")
[Horny squirrel stops people voting](http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Horny_squirrel_stops_people_voting&in_article_id=382499&in_page_id=2)
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### Author:  [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/15 "2009-07-05T10:54:33Z")
[_“Tiger Woods plays with his own balls, Nike says!”_](http://208.106.191.145/_media/imgs/articles/a213_n2.jpg)
But so what? At least this proves he is a typical male.
And there’s _“Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons!”_
Damn, those Fed’s are good!
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### Author:  [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)
#### Post date: [July 5, 2009, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/16 "2009-07-05T10:55:37Z")
**Suicide bomber renews attacks**
– Jewish World, July 27, 1995
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [July 8, 2009, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/17 "2009-07-08T16:11:37Z")
[Drunk badger disrupts traffic in Germany](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31800290/ns/world_news-weird_news/)
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### Author:  [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)
#### Post date: [July 8, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/18 "2009-07-08T16:47:41Z")
I can’t decide which is better:
King of Spain Murders Drunk Russian Bear
Or
King Juan Carlos Denies Killing Drunk Bear
In related news:
Tahoe bear swills booze with pizza snack
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### Author:  [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)
#### Post date: [July 8, 2009, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/19 "2009-07-08T17:38:18Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#):
>
> **Outhouses Preserved for Posterity**
This would be even better if it were “Outhouses Preserved for Posteriority”.
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### Author:  [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)
#### Post date: [July 8, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-headlines/501834/20 "2009-07-08T20:36:35Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#):
>
> Also, last year there was this guy in Israel who wrestled a leopard that had gotten into his house. It was the middle of the night, and he wasn’t wearing much. _Every single headline_ mentioned his state of dress:
>
> [**Man In Underwear Pins Leopard for 20 Minutes**](http://goodanimalnews.com/pets-animals/398-man-in-underwear-pins-leopard-for-20-minutes.html)
>
> [**Man Clad In Underwear Pins Leopard**](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/28/AR2007052800382.html)
>
> [**Man Clad In Underwear Wrestles Wild Leopard**](http://www.nowpublic.com/man_clad_in_underwear_wrestles_wild_leopard)
Of course the next logical variation would be:
“Man Wrestles Leopard in his Underwear”
How a leopard got in in his underwear, I’ll never know.
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