# Amusing Signs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 3, 2024, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074 "2024-02-03T19:04:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/321 "2024-03-14T21:06:52Z")
On my walk today, I saw a truck towing one of these: [![](https://cdn.dealerspike.com/imglib/v1/800x600/imglib/trimsdb/11437641-0-73305511.jpg) ](https://cdn.dealerspike.com/imglib/v1/800x600/imglib/trimsdb/11437641-0-73305511.jpg) I’m so glad they specified. I’d hate to buy an RV only to find that it’s an indoors one. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/322 "2024-03-14T21:30:37Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > What makes it even more humorous (at least for me) is that “Schmutz” in German means dirt or smut. Like the phone number, the name was an pseudonymization by me. That’s not the good doctor’s real name. Although it was a Jewish / German sounding name. I have always appreciated the German / Yiddish meaning of “Schmutz” and use it as one of my go-to pseudonyms. In the USA that’s a pretty common choice even among folks, like me, with no actual familiarity with Yiddish. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/323 "2024-03-14T21:33:38Z")
Hey, even if the name was made up, it was well made up and deserved my smile. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/324 "2024-03-14T22:16:15Z")
> [@PatrickLondon](#): > > It’s a well-established tradition to add above a hot air hand-dryer “Press here for the latest speech by [whatever politician]” I have seen on ass gasket dispensers “[candidate] campaign hats.” [![](https://image.made-in-china.com/202f0j00PtTkBVfFsubL/Commercial-Toilet-Seat-Cover-Dispenser-Wall-Mounted-SUS-304-Stainless-Steel-Brushed.jpg) ](https://image.made-in-china.com/202f0j00PtTkBVfFsubL/Commercial-Toilet-Seat-Cover-Dispenser-Wall-Mounted-SUS-304-Stainless-Steel-Brushed.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/325 "2024-03-14T23:15:41Z")
AKA the “Texas Tuxedo”. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/326 "2024-03-15T02:27:39Z")
> [@PatrickLondon](#): > > Or, in universities, above the toilet paper dispenser “Get your [unfavoured] degree here” When I was in college I saw “[rival university] diplomas” on a toilet paper dispenser. > [@DesertDog](#): > > I have seen on ass gasket dispensers “[candidate] campaign hats.” On a trip to Vegas during the World Finals Rodeo I saw “Free Cowboy Hats”. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/327 "2024-03-15T11:07:58Z")
This is in our work carpark: [Cover up](https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/jo5ruf1nnm1nzg2dfml5j/covered.jpg?rlkey=8a5y2v2pll7p08z9uly1ajqfg&dl=0) Covered parking used to be available down a side road to the left, but that’s now been stopped. Rather than take down the sign, they turned it into a bit of an oxymoron. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/328 "2024-03-15T12:35:47Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Quoting myself for context a couple of posts ago … > > > [@LSLGuy](#): > > > > I’m at a baseball game right now. > > At a later visit to a different larger men’s room at the park I saw that that urologist has a great variety of clever signs. My other favorite of the many shows a close-up of a baseball sitting on the grass adjacent to a chalk line, so presumably a foul line. > > The words: > > > Don’t settle for a soft grounder to third base. > > Call Dr. Schmutz Urology at 555-555-1234. > > I like that guy’s sense of humor. And his ad agency’s There used to be a urological surgery practice – vasectomies, primarily - in Atlanta that used slogans like “Think how much fun you’ll have showing off your scar”. At Christmas, they would put up a billboard of two Christmas tree balls with Band-Aids. Similar sense of humor. Sadly, they appear to have closed or moved. (Parenthetically, I much preferred their advertising to the radio ads now playing for the urologist who promises a treatment for impotence so effective, “You’ll see immediate results, right here in our office!” Ewwww…) > [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > What makes it even more humorous (at least for me) is that “Schmutz” in German means dirt or smut I hear it pretty widely used here in the U.S., meaning the same thing. I think we stole it from y’all, as English is wont to do. “Hey, you’ve got a little bit of schmutz on your face”. ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/329 "2024-03-16T10:20:21Z")
> [@scabpicker](#): > > Written in marker on the condom dispenser in the restroom at Trees in Dallas ages ago: > > For refund, please insert baby in slot below. If graffiti is okay, my favourite ever is this, printed on a public convenience wall: “MY MOTHER MADE ME A HOMOSEXUAL” Underneath, in a different hand: “if I give her the wool, will she make me one?” " ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/330 "2024-03-16T17:16:11Z")
I got a kick out of this one. A new health food store has opened up in the town just north of mine. They have put up a number of signs advertising their wares, emphasizing the healthiness of their products, and telling where the business is located: “Just opposite the McDonald’s parking lot!” ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/331 "2024-03-16T19:42:06Z")
An amusing sign in St. Andrews, Scotland (well, amusing to me, but my brain is 8 years old) [![Imgur](https://i.imgur.com/2QZFOr0.jpeg "imgur.com") ](https://imgur.com/2QZFOr0) ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/332 "2024-03-16T19:52:28Z")
Sounds Shakespearean. “Thy froward utterances are as foul and loathsome as a butt’s wynd”. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/333 "2024-03-16T20:03:38Z")
The OED says “wynd” is “a narrow street or passage turning off from a main thoroughfare; a narrow cross-street; a lane or alley”, and is chiefly Scottish. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/334 "2024-03-16T20:09:43Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > The OED says “wynd” is “a narrow street or passage turning off from a main thoroughfare; a narrow cross-street; a lane or alley”, and is chiefly Scottish Very common in the older part of Edinburgh. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/335 "2024-03-16T21:05:38Z")
The question is it pronounced like wind as in strong breeze, or wind as in twist ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/336 "2024-03-16T21:14:56Z")
The latter, like what you do to a mechanical watch. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/337 "2024-03-16T23:34:35Z")
Oh, like a winding path. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2024, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/338 "2024-03-18T22:06:26Z")
[![](https://cdn1.jigidi.com/thumbs/AQBR8IQ7/l) ](https://cdn1.jigidi.com/thumbs/AQBR8IQ7/l) ---
**Author:** ![Dogginit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogginit/32/16920_2.png) [@Dogginit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogginit)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2024, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/339 "2024-03-22T22:27:26Z")
> [@Mark\_Finn](#): > > Sign above urinal: > > We aim to please. > You aim too, please. Saw one once - “Stand closer, it’s shorter than you think!” ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2024, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/340 "2024-03-23T01:53:56Z")
Two more: –A very professional-looking sign for a muffler shop. A cute cartoony mechanic, big clear letters and words, and the final line on the sign: “TURN RIGTH.” –Along a rural road. A driveway with three signs out front: ICED TEA HERBS CRYSTALS Something about the combination amuses me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074.md?page=18)