# Amusing Signs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 3, 2024, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074 "2024-02-03T19:04:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2024, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/341 "2024-03-23T02:47:06Z")
> [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](#): > > –Along a rural road. A driveway with three signs out front: > > ICED TEA > HERBS > CRYSTALS Don’t mess with that person, she’s a Southern witch ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2024, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/342 "2024-03-23T05:24:07Z")
Sounds like three euphemisms for drugs. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2024, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/343 "2024-03-23T16:30:15Z")
In the Catskill/Shawangunk Mountains of New York, no less! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2024, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/344 "2024-03-24T03:09:06Z")
I saw a car sticker today that said “If you don’t talk to your cat about catnip, _then who will_?” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2024, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/345 "2024-03-25T13:23:54Z")
Now here’s an amusing sign (at a canine agility competition) [![](https://i.imgur.com/hR1cxD2.jpeg) ](https://i.imgur.com/hR1cxD2.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2024, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/346 "2024-03-25T18:59:27Z")
English was obviously not their best subject in school. But they did get their point across with humor. So good enough I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2024, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/347 "2024-03-25T20:22:44Z")
It may not have been meant as humor. I think it’s just standard dog show language; it just looks funny if you’re not thinking in that language. Female dogs in season drip blood. So some people put pants on them to keep their floors clean. Whether they call them pants or panties I don’t know; but it might well be panties. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2024, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/348 "2024-03-25T21:04:18Z")
Not only do they drip blood, but every male dog in the area becomes . . . distracted, to put it mildly. ---
**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2024, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/349 "2024-03-25T21:27:53Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > > [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > > > What makes it even more humorous (at least for me) is that “Schmutz” in German means dirt or smut > > I hear it pretty widely used here in the U.S., meaning the same thing. I think we stole it from y’all, as English is wont to do. “Hey, you’ve got a little bit of schmutz on your face”. hey, why stop at Schmutz, when you can also steal _Dreck_! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2024, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/350 "2024-03-25T22:03:53Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > It may not have been meant as humor. I think it’s just standard dog show language; it just looks funny if you’re not thinking in that language. Yep, standard dog show language. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2024, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/351 "2024-03-25T22:05:35Z")
I’m not arguing terminology. The correct grammar would have been > No bitches in season, not even with panties, are allowed in the building! The “are” might reasonably be elided on an imperative sign. But not the commas; their absence completely alters the meaning into gibberish. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2024, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/352 "2024-03-25T22:41:58Z")
Heck, just change the order. No bitches in season allowed in the building not even with panties. Kinda poetic that way. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2024, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/353 "2024-03-25T22:47:05Z")
Dog show haiku. You are a genius! ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2024, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/354 "2024-03-25T23:00:48Z")
Haiku would be: Bitches in season Not allowed in the building Not even with pants ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/355 "2024-03-26T01:23:24Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > Not only do they drip blood, but every male dog in the area becomes . . . distracted, to put it mildly. Which, I presume, is why they’re not let inside even with pants on. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/356 "2024-03-26T06:53:13Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Dog show haiku. > > You are a genius! > [@Yllaria](#): > > Haiku would be: > > Bitches in season > Not allowed in the building > Not even with pants Hehe, I thought about the haiku angle, but then I looked up the whole 5-7-5 syllable thing, and saw a bunch of folks saying that was a misconception and the Japanese idea was sounds, not syllables. And so I abandoned it. Then I thought about the flow of my rearrangement, and it seemed to be a pretty could blues bit, and I entertained myself for a few minutes singing: My mamma done told me No bitches in season allowed in the building not even with panties the boy dogs they do get so very distracted But that’s not going anywhere, so I’ll stop. 😃 ETA, I also did a beat poetry version in my head. I won’t subject you to that, though. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/357 "2024-03-26T07:32:06Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > Female dogs in season drip blood. So some people put pants on them to keep their floors clean. I learned those canine facts upon seeing the “doggie diapers” as a young child. And somehow it got mixed up in my older-child mind with more recently acquired facts about human menstruation. So I was under the impression that human females could only become pregnant while menstruating, and consequently was baffled by talk about the importance of birth control, because it seemed like it would be trivially easy to just avoid impregnation-type activities during your period. I remain eternally grateful to the seventh-grade Health Ed teacher who cleared up that, um, misconception before it had any life-altering consequences for me. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/358 "2024-03-26T07:43:30Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > Female dogs in season drip blood. Not a dog, but a cat. Or rather, kitten. My female kitten loved to run up and down my piano. It was fun to watch and hear; literally, “Kitten on the Keys.” Then, the time came that nature demanded, and she left “things” on my beautiful, ivory-keyed, antique piano. I cleaned them up quickly, and closed the lid so she couldn’t play my piano any more, and got her to a vet. She still loved to play “Kitten on the Keys,” but my beautiful ivory piano keyboard was saved from staining. [end hijack] ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/359 "2024-03-26T12:24:49Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Bitches in season > Not allowed in the building > Not even with pants I put it in a haiku generator: _Bitches in season_ _Forbidden from entering_ _Pants won’t save them now_ _Can’t blame them for this_ _Their bodies speak, can’t resist_ _Nature’s call, so strong_ _Scent carries, warns all_ _Dangerous, yet mesmerizing_ _Bitches in season_ Not bad? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/360 "2024-03-26T13:09:20Z")
Pretty darn good actually. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074.md?page=19)