# Amusing Signs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 3, 2024, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074 "2024-02-03T19:04:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/361 "2024-03-26T13:55:46Z")
> [@Al128](#): > > > [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > > > > [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > > > > > What makes it even more humorous (at least for me) is that “Schmutz” in German means dirt or smut > > > > I hear it pretty widely used here in the U.S., meaning the same thing. I think we stole it from y’all, as English is wont to do. “Hey, you’ve got a little bit of schmutz on your face”. > > hey, why stop at Schmutz, when you can also steal _Dreck_! Yep, we got that one, too. Not as common as “schmutz”, but I’ve heard it used. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/362 "2024-03-26T14:25:13Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > I learned those canine facts upon seeing the “doggie diapers” as a young child. And somehow it got mixed up in my older-child mind with more recently acquired facts about human menstruation. > > So I was under the impression that human females could only become pregnant while menstruating, and consequently was baffled by talk about the importance of birth control, because it seemed like it would be trivially easy to just avoid impregnation-type activities during your period. > > I remain eternally grateful to the seventh-grade Health Ed teacher who cleared up that, um, misconception before it had any life-altering consequences for me Yeah, humans are weird. Most species that bleed do so in order to advertise their fertility. We do so when we’re least likely to be fertile (though, again, humans is weird, cycles can be erratic, and sperm can live a while; so no guarantees.) And, again, a reason for parents and educators to make sure that children have accurate info, and have it well before the adults think they’re going to need it. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/363 "2024-03-26T14:31:40Z")
Which connects to the couple of recent threads about kids’ sexual knowledge wherein various folks of rural upbringing asserting that kids would learn much of what they needed from the animals around them. They’d learn something all right. But something useful? Maybe not so much. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/364 "2024-03-26T15:51:05Z")
Yeah. I remember horror stories about people getting tied, as if they were dogs. (Right as they heard parents coming in the door, of course.) I didn’t know at the time about dogs getting tied; but in retrospect I expect that’s where those stories came from. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/365 "2024-03-26T16:46:52Z")
This thread done got weird. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/366 "2024-03-26T16:56:55Z")
My apologies. The sign _was_ funny, especially without context. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/367 "2024-03-26T17:28:04Z")
Gave me a new respect for the poet who came up with: No shoes. No shirt. No service. Lemme see. No spay. No panties. No play. Wait: No neuter. No knickers. No entry. I should be able to do this.🤔 ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/368 "2024-03-26T17:45:30Z")
Hmm, the trouble here is that the “No panties” stipulation is not one of the conditions for service, i.e., entry to the venue. A bitch in season isn’t allowed in, with or without panties. And neutering isn’t actually a requirement, either: a non-spayed bitch who’s not in heat is allowed to participate. What you need is something more like: Panties, shmanties. Bitch in heat? Hit the street. Hmmm, that sounds maybe a little more brash than I intended. (IIRC, it’s possible for a female dog, horse, whatever, to come into season somewhat unexpectedly; their cycles aren’t perfectly regular any more than ours are. I wonder what the protocol is when a female show dog who legitimately enters the venue without being in season suddenly comes into season. That must happen sometimes, right? I’m sure I’ve heard of horse races occasionally being disrupted when a stallion notices that one of his female competitors is suddenly irresistibly attractive.) ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/369 "2024-03-26T17:48:30Z")
> [@scabpicker](#): > > My mamma done told me > No bitches in season > allowed in the building > not even with panties > the boy dogs they do get > so very distracted Wonderful! I’m impressed. > [@bob\_2](#): > > Not bad? Also wonderful. I know that the typical American’s 5-7-5 idea doesn’t match what a Japanese haiku actually is. If I remember correctly, it’s also supposed to evoke a season. > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Wait: > > No neuter. > No knickers. > No entry. Nice. Is that billboard poetry? ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/370 "2024-03-26T17:53:03Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > it’s also supposed to evoke a season. Probably not the same kind of season! ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/371 "2024-03-26T17:55:20Z")
I did not think of that. Thanks. It’s hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/372 "2024-03-26T17:58:43Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > it’s possible for a female dog, horse, whatever, to come into season somewhat unexpectedly; their cycles aren’t perfectly regular any more than ours are. I cannot speak for a female dog, as I’ve never owned an un-spayed female. But as a kid growing up on a farm, I can attest to the fact that a cow will come in heat on a very regular basis, about once every 21 days. (I believe the same is true for a horse.) We didn’t own a bull, so when a cow came into heat, we called the guy who owned the artificial insemination business. If we missed the signs of the cow being in heat, we would wait 3 weeks and watch for them. Never failed, as I recall. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/373 "2024-03-26T18:07:53Z")
Gone to the dogs, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/374 "2024-03-26T18:09:20Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > No shoes. > No shirt. > No service. No ooze. No squirt. We’re nervous. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/375 "2024-03-26T20:07:43Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > This thread done got weird. Forget it, Gato. It’s ~~Chinatown~~ the Straight Dope. > [@Kimstu](#): > > I wonder what the protocol is when a female show dog who legitimately enters the venue without being in season suddenly comes into season. That must happen sometimes, right? I’ve never heard of a bitch suddenly coming into season _after_ entering the venue but have heard of one doing so between entering the show, several weeks before the event, and the event itself. In that case it’s “Sux to be you – no refunds.” ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/376 "2024-03-26T20:33:14Z")
I might be wrong (it’s been over 50 years since I lived with an intact adult female dog), but I don’t think it’s like having your period suddenly start unexpectedly (which can happen.) I think there are some early signs, if the humans are paying close attention, before the bleeding starts. Although, come to think of it, if there are signs that humans can detect, I bet the dogs can detect them; and probably sooner. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/377 "2024-03-26T20:43:19Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > No neuter. > No knickers. > No entry. > [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > No ooze. > No squirt. > We’re nervous. Burma Shave. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/378 "2024-03-26T21:01:43Z")
I understand that the dogs get slightly moody, somewhat emotional and start requesting frequent bones. (I have never owned a female dog and my ignorant comments are meant in fun.) ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/379 "2024-03-26T21:01:53Z")
Touché. ---
**Author:** ![Tride](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tride/32/13907_2.png) [@Tride](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tride)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/380 "2024-03-26T21:06:40Z")
Seen on the bottom of a coffee mug at our Encinitas rental: “For best results, use other side.” The mug was from the unemployed philosophers society… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074.md?page=20)