# Amusing Signs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 3, 2024, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074 "2024-02-03T19:04:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 27
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2024, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/521 "2024-05-13T19:21:22Z")
Sign, sign, everywhere a sign. [![](https://lcc.asn.au/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/long_haired_freaky_people.jpg) ](https://lcc.asn.au/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/long_haired_freaky_people.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Orville\_mogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/aeb1de/32.png) [@Orville\_mogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orville_mogul)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2024, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/522 "2024-05-13T20:20:31Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Mother-in-law’s for Mother’s Day yesterday. We were on the porch and I asked her, “hey, how about a quickie?” Just…. Ewwwww… That said, I have never been able to resist a similar joke using a well-positioned wood screw ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2024, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/523 "2024-05-13T21:20:30Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > This reminds me of a place nearby where they really SHOULD have markings on the pavement. > > You need to be in such-and-such lane to go one way on the highway ahead, and so on. These are all clearly indicated on signs over the road. > > Only, the road curves just before the signs. So, a few hundred feet back, it looks like you need to be in the second lane from the right, when really you need to be in the third from the right, or whatever. It’s one of many reasons we rarely use that route to get to the highway. There’s a spot on my commute, where leading up to the intersection, the signs clearly show that the left lane is only for left turns, the middle lane is only for going straight, and the right lane is only for right turns. Except that there’s a curve just before the intersection, and prior to the curve, there are only two lanes, not three. Which lane is the one that’s going to split? If you want to go straight, should you be in the left lane or the right lane before the curve? ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2024, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/524 "2024-05-15T04:37:23Z")
[![](https://lirp.cdn-website.com/3c0594df/dms3rep/multi/opt/toutes+directions+nieuw-960w.jpg) ](https://lirp.cdn-website.com/3c0594df/dms3rep/multi/opt/toutes+directions+nieuw-960w.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2024, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/525 "2024-05-15T10:55:23Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > Uhhh - incorrect? Any chance of specifying… how? Or what’s about to happen to me? Yeah, sort of like ‘Road Damage’ Not a temporary sign, it’s been there for years, and it’s right. Well, fix it whydon’tcha. But I understand now. This portion of road has a spot that sinks and rises. Like it’s on tundra or something. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2024, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/526 "2024-05-18T17:24:48Z")
Sign atop a gas pump telling me not to use my phone while pumping gas, with a QR code for more information about this, which I can take advantage of with my phone. [![](https://i.imgur.com/834AbFc.jpeg) ](https://i.imgur.com/834AbFc.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2024, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/527 "2024-05-18T18:20:12Z")
They probably expect you to make a pencil-and-paper sketch of the QR code while waiting for your tank to fill. Or just decode it mentally. ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2024, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/528 "2024-05-18T20:38:28Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Sign atop a gas pump telling me not to use my phone while pumping gas, with a QR code for more information about this, which I can take advantage of with my phone. Just a minute - how d’ya take the picture…? j ---
**Author:** ![phs3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8491ac/32.png) [@phs3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phs3)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2024, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/529 "2024-05-19T03:54:18Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > In the [German language](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_language), the word _[Schmuck](https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schmuck)_ means “jewelry, adornment”.[[5]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schmuck_(pejorative)#cite_note-5) It is a [nominalization](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nominalization) of the German verb _schmücken_ “to decorate” and is unrelated to the word discussed in this article. I remember my dad (the linguist) using this to “explain” to my sister that a penis was the decoration on the front of a man. ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2024, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/530 "2024-05-19T13:48:40Z")
A sign about dangerous wildlife, seen a few years ago on a trip in North Macedonia [[Album] imgur.com ![](https://i.imgur.com/JS5CWA6.jpeg?fb "imgur.com") ](https://imgur.com/a/cEZ4trW) ---
**Author:** ![Jegpeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jegpeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jegpeg)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2024, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/531 "2024-05-19T22:49:54Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > Just a minute - how d’ya take the picture…? I am old enough to remember cameras ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2024, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/532 "2024-05-20T04:46:01Z")
Camera? That’s that little round thing on the back of a cellphone, right? ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2024, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/533 "2024-05-22T13:29:53Z")
> [@Mops](#): > > A sign about dangerous wildlife, seen a few years ago on a trip in North Macedonia If you don’t understand either language, the pictogram seems to be saying “if approached by a peacock, sing opera to it”. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2024, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/534 "2024-05-23T00:15:42Z")
Or pretend to be Van Gogh. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2024, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/535 "2024-05-23T04:05:33Z")
> [@solost](#): > > “if approached by a peacock, sing opera to it”. 😆 Dammit! Just put these boxers on! ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2024, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/536 "2024-07-17T19:54:28Z")
Sign near me, outside a pub… [![](https://scontent.flhr1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/451737906_10229403954657492_6166528658453224261_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_p180x540&_nc_cat=100&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=aa7b47&_nc_ohc=eQohLrtUjksQ7kNvgHUqOkF&_nc_ht=scontent.flhr1-1.fna&oh=00_AYAvVg9JdGFiPDP4QcWJOuhTnICn1JPQp5YoNTZIlsHhUA&oe=669DD844) ](https://scontent.flhr1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/451737906_10229403954657492_6166528658453224261_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_p180x540&_nc_cat=100&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=aa7b47&_nc_ohc=eQohLrtUjksQ7kNvgHUqOkF&_nc_ht=scontent.flhr1-1.fna&oh=00_AYAvVg9JdGFiPDP4QcWJOuhTnICn1JPQp5YoNTZIlsHhUA&oe=669DD844) ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2024, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/537 "2024-07-17T21:10:31Z")
This isn’t my photo, but I did personally spot this sign at Waianapanapa State Park, Maui, Hawaii. [![](https://www.teresco.org/pics/hawaii-20060820-0902/0826/DSCF0169-640.jpg) ](https://www.teresco.org/pics/hawaii-20060820-0902/0826/DSCF0169-640.jpg) I feel like landing at Ancient Burial Airport has got to be bad luck. > [@Bullitt](#): > > Old name of the town, for some 200 years: **FUCKING**. Which reminds me, in Germany back in 2006 I spotted a bus with “Fücker” painted on the side, like this one: [![Imgur](https://live.staticflickr.com/1419/1443831810_7c2f894e1d_z.jpg "Somewhere in Galway County Ireland, Germans on Tour!") ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/14207195@N06/1443831810/) I’m guessing with the umlaut over the u it’s pronounced more like “fooker”, but it is still amusing to me as an English speaker. I can’t find any news articles, but while searching for that image I found a [post on another forum](https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&f=23&t=436121) claiming that bus company has now changed the spelling to “Fuecker”. If true, it’s almost certainly for the same reason the Austrian town changed the spelling of their name. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2024, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/538 "2024-07-17T21:41:42Z")
I don’t know much about German, but my understanding is that “ue” is just an alternate spelling of “ü”. It’s used when the diacritic is not available, like on a typewriter. Perhaps it’s also used when you get tired of getting mocked by Americans. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2024, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/539 "2024-07-19T11:21:17Z")
The way I was taught to pronounce ü was to imagine you’re saying ‘eee’ and then purse your lips as far as you can push them forward. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2024, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074/540 "2024-08-17T11:11:52Z")
This was not exactly a sign, but my inner 8yo found it amusing. You might too. I had a blood draw yesterday. While sitting in the little room awaiting the technician I noticed they had an old-fashioned cork bulletin board there with various printed paged tacked to it for the techs’ reference. And a couple of signs in much bigger letters aimed at the patients. One of the tech pages was a list of various feces-related lab orders, the corresponding computer codes, and which sort of container to use to collect the sample. It seems they have several kinds of containers: white, yellow, blue, etc. And far more fecal tests than I’d ever imagined, maybe 20 in all. Down near the bottom were two: “Fecal fat (qualitative)” and “Fecal fat (quantitative)”. The former, in common with several other tests, used the white container, whatever that is. So far so ordinary. The “Fecal fat (quantitative)” however specified the “Gallon pail” as the container to use. 😁 I know just enough biology to be dangerous, but IIRC one of the signs of excess fat in feces is runny stools. I can just picture some poor intestinal sufferer showing up for their test, being handed a clean 1 gallon paint bucket and told “Fill 'er up; the bathroom’s down the hall.” A gallon? You want a gallon of runny poop??!? WTF? My inner 8yo laughed at that image. Yours might too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074.md?page=26) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/amusing-signs/997074.md?page=28)