# An Alcoholic Quandry **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [February 24, 2006, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866 "2006-02-24T00:33:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![furnishesq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/977dab/32.png) [@furnishesq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furnishesq)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/1 "2006-02-24T00:33:43Z")
Say you are a recovering alcoholic. Your drinkings days saw you in legal, financial, medial and marital trouble Spent years fighting the terrible addiction and got your act together and pieced together many happy sober years. You go on Vacation to England and visit Windsor Castle. For some reason you are asked by a guard to enter St. George’s Chapel. You enter and are escorted up to the Royal Family. The Queen of England makes a very offical sounding announcment and hands you a goblet of wine to drink. All eyes are on you. (DId I mention the BBC is televising the ceremony?) You spouse looks at you wearily. . . Do you drink it? Or do you say you can’t because you are an alcoholic? What would you do? :dubious: :dubious: :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/2 "2006-02-24T00:39:24Z")
“no thanks, I don’t drink alcohol” ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/3 "2006-02-24T00:40:55Z")
If the Duke of Edinburgh’s there, it doesn’t really matter what you say - he’s sure to top whatever offensiveness you could cause. ---
**Author:** ![II\_Gyan\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bbe5ce/32.png) [@II\_Gyan\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/II_Gyan_II)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/4 "2006-02-24T00:41:51Z")
> [@furnishesq](#): > > You enter and are escorted up to the Royal Family. You are asked if you drink alcohol. If yes, then > [@](#): > > The Queen of England makes a very offical sounding announcment and hands you a goblet of wine to drink. If no, then > [@](#): > > The Queen of England makes a very offical sounding announcment and hands you a goblet of apple juice to drink. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/5 "2006-02-24T02:00:18Z")
You pretend to take a sip. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/6 "2006-02-24T02:23:52Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > You pretend to take a sip. If I’m a recovering alcoholic? Absolutely not. I may not know exactly where the line is which, once crossed, leads to my spending a week in a coma from alcohol poisoning; that line may be raising a goblet of wine to my mouth and smelling its intoxicating aroma. If things happen as you describe–I don’t know the queen’s going to invite me up ahead of time–then I thank her for the offer of the goblet and say, “Thank you; may I drink a sip of water instead?” If she refuses, it’s on her head: given the high percentage of Americans who are recovering alcoholics, her offer to me is extremely ill-advised. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/7 "2006-02-24T02:34:29Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > … given the high percentage of Americans who are recovering alcoholics, her offer to me is extremely ill-advised. Huh? When did it become ill-advised to offer someone a drink? A simple “No, thank you, I don’t drink” would suffice. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/8 "2006-02-24T02:37:40Z")
Guzzle the wine, grab a yeoman’s halberd, scream “No taxation without domestication!” at the top of your lungs and hack away at the TV camera before ralphing all over the Queen. Blame the whole thing on the Tories. Sell your story to the tabloids. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/9 "2006-02-24T03:28:52Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > Huh? When did it become ill-advised to offer someone a drink? > > A simple “No, thank you, I don’t drink” would suffice. Offering someone a drink is not ill-advised. Offering a complete stranger a drink of alcohol as part of a ritual they weren’t expecting in front of an important audience without consulting with them ahead of time and going over the ritual? Ill-advised. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/10 "2006-02-24T04:00:38Z")
I down the glass of wine…then I chug the bottle she poured the wine from…then I punch her in the face and throw the bottle at one of those guards with the big hats. That’s just how I roll. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/11 "2006-02-24T04:24:39Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I down the glass of wine…then I chug the bottle she poured the wine from…then I punch her in the face and throw the bottle at one of those guards with the big hats. > > That’s just how I roll. The funny thing is, I can picture this happening perfectly. The BeeGee’s “Wipeout” is playing in the background as the wacky chase begins. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/12 "2006-02-24T04:46:19Z")
I realize that AA doesn’t have the answer to alcoholism, take a sip, and realize that I can control my drinking. What % of Americans are recovering alcoholics anyway? Marc ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/13 "2006-02-24T06:52:56Z")
> [@MGibson](#): > > I realize that AA doesn’t have the answer to alcoholism, take a sip, and realize that I can control my drinking. > > What % of Americans are recovering alcoholics anyway? > > Marc Through AA? 14% Through ways other than AA? 14% ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/14 "2006-02-24T07:11:03Z")
> [@furnishesq](#): > > You spouse looks at you wearily. . . Must be a tiring vacation. As long as the ball and chain (wife =, not Queen) is not looking at me **warily** , I would slap the wine out of her hand and run around yelling, “The Redcoats are coming! The Redcoats are coming!” Then some women in their underwear would follow me around while someone plays “Yakkity Sax”. I saw that in a documentary or something on BBC America. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/15 "2006-02-24T07:26:24Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > If I’m a recovering alcoholic? Absolutely not. I may not know exactly where the line is which, once crossed, leads to my spending a week in a coma from alcohol poisoning; that line may be raising a goblet of wine to my mouth and smelling its intoxicating aroma. Which is exactly why abstinence programs don’t work for a lot of people. By making people believe that even one sniff of wine will push them right off the wagon, we create a self-fulfilling prophecy wherein if the former alcoholic slips up and takes a drink he might as well cash in his chips (literally) and go full-on alky again, because he’s a total failure. Abstinence may work for some people, especially those people who do have a physical lack of tolerance for alcohol, but it is not for everyone. As for the OP, I would take the drink. ---
**Author:** ![LadyMack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4491bb/32.png) [@LadyMack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadyMack)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/16 "2006-02-24T08:30:33Z")
> [@](#): > > You go on Vacation to England and visit Windsor Castle. > > For some reason you are asked by a guard to enter St. George’s Chapel. > > You enter and are escorted up to the Royal Family. > > The Queen of England makes a very offical sounding announcment and hands you a goblet of wine to drink. Now, see. You lost me right there. The odds of that happening are so miniscule. Well. I’ve been in recovery for several years. It isn’t that I think that one sip will do me in, or cause me to keep drinking. It’s that I personally think it’s important enough not to even give in to that one sip, or to cheat myself in any way. Not even the Queen can convince me. I’d thank her, but say that I can’t drink spirits of any kind. If I am tethered to an ant hill, and have several people pouring booze down my throat, then manage to escape, all bets are off. I’d talk to my sponsor, and get on with life. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/17 "2006-02-24T12:38:04Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I down the glass of wine…then I chug the bottle she poured the wine from…then I punch her in the face and throw the bottle at one of those guards with the big hats. You forgot vomiting on the Queen’s shoes. I find that to be a dynamite finish. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/18 "2006-02-24T12:52:22Z")
> [@davenportavenger](#): > > Which is exactly why abstinence programs don’t work for a lot of people. By making people believe that even one sniff of wine will push them right off the wagon, we create a self-fulfilling prophecy wherein if the former alcoholic slips up and takes a drink he might as well cash in his chips (literally) and go full-on alky again, because he’s a total failure. Abstinence may work for some people, especially those people who do have a physical lack of tolerance for alcohol, but it is not for everyone. Sure, it’s not for everyone, and I’m no cheerleader for AA–but I’ve heard too many stories of addicts who thought as you did and who were terribly wrong to dismiss AA completely. For many alcoholics, one sip **is** enough to send them over the edge. Surely you’re not denying that? Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/19 "2006-02-24T13:27:04Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Offering a complete stranger a drink of alcohol as part of a ritual they weren’t expecting in front of an important audience without consulting with them ahead of time and going over the ritual? Ill-advised. OK, that I can go along with. I had the impression you meant it in general. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866/20 "2006-02-24T14:07:09Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Sure, it’s not for everyone, and I’m no cheerleader for AA–but I’ve heard too many stories of addicts who thought as you did and who were terribly wrong to dismiss AA completely. For many alcoholics, one sip **is** enough to send them over the edge. Surely you’re not denying that? > > Daniel I won’t deny it, but I’ll ask for a cite before I believe it. I suspect this is one of those tales that “everybody knows” and AA and the like perpetuate without data to back it up. I stand ready with retraction should reliable and bias-free data be presented. Since I’m not an alcoholic, I’ll change the OP to my overcome-addiction-of-choice. Yeah, I’d take a puff of the cigarette. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-alcoholic-quandry/345866.md?page=2)