# An almost porn moment at the Doctors office today. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 26, 2013, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758 "2013-09-26T22:23:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2013, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/61 "2013-09-28T01:09:03Z")
> [@Uber\_the\_Goober](#): > > Sure I do! 😃 They draw the blood out with a syringe. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/62 "2013-09-28T03:00:35Z")
> [@aNewLeaf](#): > > “Not have to, I _get to_ put my finger in peoples’ butts. It’s a privilege to serve people. And their butts.” And they get paid to do it, too!!! ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2013, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/63 "2013-09-28T10:49:16Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > ETA: George C. Scott, eh? You guys are my external memory. 🙂 I LOVE this analogy. “External memory,” indeed. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2013, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/64 "2013-09-28T16:49:20Z")
OP: You think you had it bad. Imagine that you’re a gay man being examined by a urologist. Oh, and he was super-hot; I could not take my eyes off him. And then it was time for the prostate exam. Before he went in, he handed me a tissue, “just in case.” When he was inside me, it sure did feel like I’d need the tissue . . . but before I knew it, the exam was over (whew!). ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2013, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/65 "2013-09-28T17:29:23Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I could also see this woman coming her and her daughter saying, “Mommy, did you have to stick your finger up anyone’s butt today?” :smack: “Did she or didn’t she? With Dove soap, you’ll never know for sure…” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/66 "2013-09-29T15:14:44Z")
After my surgical procedure for a kidney stone, I had to go into the doc’s office a few days later to have the shunt removed. I assumed the position on the table and this hot young nurse comes in to do the prep. I was starting to feel a reaction in the groinal areas when she whisked back the gown and immediately starts sponging my johnson with some kind of antiseptic solution. I swear, they stored that stuff in the refrigerator! Any thoughts my second head might have been having about rising to action immediately vanished, as my entire unit tried to retract behind my pubic bone to get away from the cold stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Not\_Carlson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc79bd/32.png) [@Not\_Carlson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_Carlson)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/67 "2013-09-29T23:30:50Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > I have to make do with a shriveled up old hag who should have retired years ago. Uh, okay. But what does your \*doctor \*look like? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/68 "2013-09-30T15:52:11Z")
I know I speak for many when I express disappointment at the word “almost” in the thread title. And the first line in the OP should have been “I never thought your letters were real, until…” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Chief\_Pedant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Chief\_Pedant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chief_Pedant)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/69 "2013-10-01T03:37:45Z")
I sent a 15 year old kid one day for an ultrasound of the testicles. This involves lubricating the scrotum with a gel, and a fair amount of fairly proximate contact by the tech–in this case a stunning young woman. The kid came back humiliated after his (almost immediate) involuntary ejaculation. Sexual arousal is a reasonably common occurrence in both sexes (more commonly males) during medical exchanges. Ordinary erections are best handled as involuntary, the same way a nipple becoming erect to touch is ignored. It’s all about context and behavior on both sides…perhaps no different from what must happen during (non-sexual) massages. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/70 "2013-10-01T16:51:38Z")
I had my annual physical today, during which the physician remarked on the extraordinarily nice autumn weather we’ve been having. I agreed and mentioned how much I regretted having to go back to work afterwards. Then I reflected that not only was the doctor in the same boat, but very shortly he was going to have to put on a rubber glove and stick his finger in some place where that splendid autumn sun has never shown. Put the whole “going to work” thing in perspective for me. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/71 "2013-10-01T18:32:30Z")
> [@](#): > > I sent a 15 year old kid one day for an ultrasound of the testicles. > > This involves lubricating the scrotum with a gel, and a fair amount of fairly proximate contact by the tech–in this case a stunning young woman. > > The kid came back humiliated after his (almost immediate) involuntary ejaculation. Oh man I’m cringing and I don’t even know the kid. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/72 "2013-10-01T18:40:28Z")
“Yep, these balls work just fine. No need for an ultrasound.” ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/73 "2013-10-01T18:46:10Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Oh man I’m cringing and I don’t even know the kid. In later life, this will become a cherished memory, and possibly grow into a fetish. You wonder why guys end up with weird fetishes? There you go- losing manual virginity to a hot ultrasound tech. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2013, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/74 "2013-10-03T00:42:26Z")
When I was a teenage lad I had braces. My avuncular fiftyish male orthodontist didn’t do a thing for me…but his three young female techs did. They would lean over me, breathing softly into my face, with their cute little uniforms ever-so-close to my cheek…mmmmm! Then they would tighten a wire around one of my teeth with the sort of torsion I associate with removing lug nuts from a truck. Dental pain is not conducive to my fantasy life. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2013, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758/75 "2013-10-04T11:42:22Z")
> [@Bumbershoot](#): > > Anecdote time (and no, it wasn’t me): > > Can’t remember where I heard it but I recall a story about a guy who got an erection in front of his female doctor, for which he apologized. She took a pencil out her pocket and gave the head of his penis a _thwack!_ Result: instantaneous de-bonerization. That’d be grounds for an assault and/or conduct unbecoming lawsuit. I’m serious. One’s job as a doctor is to ignore the boner. Unless medically relevant, in which case ignoring the boner would constitute malpractice, of course. But I can’t really think of a medically justified context in which to thwacketh the boneth. Anyway : Back in the day I, heterosexual male, did pop one when the male nurse shaved my privates before pelvic surgery. He was a lot more amused about it than I was, let me tell y’all. But then again, back then I also popped one once while petting a dog. Wasn’t a particularly sexy dog neither. I was a desperate, confused kid I guess. [QUOTE=Chief Pedant] The kid came back humiliated after his (almost immediate) involuntary ejaculation. [/QUOTE] And suddenly my teenage, medically traumatized years don’t seem so bad in retrospect. Cheers ! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-almost-porn-moment-at-the-doctors-office-today/669758.md?page=3)