# An annual reminder for all you moms **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 17, 2013, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534 "2013-12-17T06:14:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/1 "2013-12-17T06:14:38Z")
If you tell your husband and kids that you don’t want anything for Christmas, and you don’t get anything, please do not mope around the house all day, or come on here and complain about it. You asked for nothing, you GOT nothing, so knock it off. And if they DO get you something, definitely do not proclaim “I don’t want this junk” and destroy it. :smack: You wouldn’t let your kids get away with that, and if a man did it, everyone would be telling her to DTMFA. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/2 "2013-12-17T06:33:29Z")
The first one - I agree, that is stupid. It’s Christmas, your husband and kids are going to get you something - give them some ideas. You put your husband in a no-win situation if you expect him to read your mind and figure out if you’re telling the truth or lying when you say you don’t want anything. The second one - is your wife mentally ill? That doesn’t sound like something a mentally healthy person would do. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/3 "2013-12-17T13:37:53Z")
An annual reminder for all you dads: If you ask your wife if she wants anything for Christmas, you are sending the very clear message that you consider it to be optional. It’s not. So don’t ask. It’s hurtful and annoying. Would you ask your children, “Hey, kids, do you want a Christmas gift this year?” No, you wouldn’t. So don’t ask your wife, either. It’s your ONE obligation this Christmas season. Don’t fucking blow it. If you ask your wife what she wants for Christmas, you are sending the very clear message that you cannot be arsed to think of something on your own. Seriously, could you get any lazier? This year only, you can solve that problem by picking up the phone and asking her best friend or sister for guidance But make it a New Year’s resolution to actually notice her next year. Pay attention to what she likes, what makes her eyes light up. That way, you won’t to go into panic mode on December 18th when it’s finally sunk in that Santa doesn’t really exist, and, oh shit! it’s up to YOU to make your wife’s Christmas special. I have faith in you. I know you can do it. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/4 "2013-12-17T13:58:13Z")
Another suggestion - if you ask her what she wants, and she tells you, don’t say “No, I’m not buying that / shopping there / why do you want THAT?” ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/5 "2013-12-17T14:01:38Z")
What jerk gets their wife NOTHING for Christmas?? ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/6 "2013-12-17T14:04:56Z")
And if your wife shows you something she likes in a catalog, and you need to order it online, don’t wait until the week before Christmas to order it. _ahem_ not that I’m speaking from experience or anything… ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/7 "2013-12-17T14:26:28Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > If you ask your wife what she wants for Christmas, you are sending the very clear message that you cannot be arsed to think of something on your own. Hey, often it takes me weeks to figure out what I might want for my own birthday/Christmas (and likewise with my husband); there’s no way I’d expect anyone else to come up with an idea all on their own. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/8 "2013-12-17T14:39:44Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > What jerk gets their wife NOTHING for Christmas?? Oh they exist. I woke up one Christmas morning (while living with a then-boyfriend) to an empty stocking and no presents. And his five-year-old son asking “Daddy, why didn’t Santa bring Juicy anything?” (FTR, he knew what I wanted for Christmas.) ---
**Author:** ![elninost0rm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ed655f/32.png) [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/9 "2013-12-17T14:48:50Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > An annual reminder for all you dads: > > If you ask your wife if she wants anything for Christmas, you are sending the very clear message that you consider it to be optional. It’s not. So don’t ask. It’s hurtful and annoying. Would you ask your children, “Hey, kids, do you want a Christmas gift this year?” No, you wouldn’t. So don’t ask your wife, either. It’s your ONE obligation this Christmas season. Don’t fucking blow it. > > If you ask your wife what she wants for Christmas, you are sending the very clear message that you cannot be arsed to think of something on your own. Seriously, could you get any lazier? This year only, you can solve that problem by picking up the phone and asking her best friend or sister for guidance But make it a New Year’s resolution to actually notice her next year. Pay attention to what she likes, what makes her eyes light up. That way, you won’t to go into panic mode on December 18th when it’s finally sunk in that Santa doesn’t really exist, and, oh shit! it’s up to YOU to make your wife’s Christmas special. > > I have faith in you. I know you can do it. I didn’t ask my wife for anything. She didn’t ask me for anything. We have a mutual understanding and (somewhat of a revulsion) for “guessing game” gifting. We’re just weird I guess. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/10 "2013-12-17T15:08:16Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Hey, often it takes me weeks to figure out what I might want for my own birthday/Christmas (and likewise with my husband); there’s no way I’d expect anyone else to come up with an idea all on their own. On the off chance that you didn’t provide suggestions, I do hope that your spouse would get you something anyway. It really IS the thought that counts sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/11 "2013-12-17T15:26:17Z")
I’ll admit: I once forgot to get something for my husband’s birthday. The weird thing is I didn’t forget his birthday. For about two weeks I would think every day, “His birthday is coming up, I need to make him that chocolate cake” The day of I suddenly realized I didn’t actually get anything for him. I had no idea how I forgot presents were involved with this sort of thing. I made it up by going out and replacing his long-dead xbox 360 with the better model the next day, but jeez louise. If your SO forgets to get you a present a couple times in your relationship please be forgiving the way he was. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/12 "2013-12-17T15:33:55Z")
Q: What do women want? A: You’re supposed to know what they want by telepathy, without having to ask and without her having to say anything. And if you don’t, it shows how selfish and uncaring you are. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/13 "2013-12-17T15:35:07Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > What jerk gets their wife NOTHING for Christmas?? My ex husband Told me he didn’t know what to get me, the stores were too crowded, traffic was too heavy and I should take money out of savings and buy myself something. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/14 "2013-12-17T15:40:50Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > The second one - is your wife mentally ill? That doesn’t sound like something a mentally healthy person would do. I think the OP is talking about her mother. And yes. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/15 "2013-12-17T15:42:19Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Q: What do women want? > > A: You’re supposed to know what they want by telepathy, without having to ask and without her having to say anything. And if you don’t, it shows how selfish and uncaring you are. Seriously, what the shit? My bf and I exchange Amazon wishlists because we both get what we want with none of the bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Dustin\_the\_Wind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f1d935/32.png) [@Dustin\_the\_Wind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dustin_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/16 "2013-12-17T15:47:06Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > My ex husband > Told me he didn’t know what to get me, the stores were too crowded, traffic was too heavy and I should take money out of savings and buy myself something. This makes me SO sad! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/17 "2013-12-17T15:47:23Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Q: What do women want? > > A: You’re supposed to know what they want by telepathy, without having to ask and without her having to say anything. And if you don’t, it shows how selfish and uncaring you are. You know what I want for Christmas? For men to stop lumping all women into one category. ---
**Author:** ![Sterling\_Archer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Sterling\_Archer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterling_Archer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/18 "2013-12-17T16:24:44Z")
Heh, I have heard of this happening: Couple agrees money is tight so they are not going to get any gifts for each other. Wife buys a few “little” gifts for husband anyway, husband sticks to the deal and doesn’t get anything. Wife is seriously pissed. My reaction? What a dumbass, you always get your wife a gift no matter WHAT is said beforehand. But it is kinda screwed up, I admit. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/19 "2013-12-17T16:28:55Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > What jerk gets their wife NOTHING for Christmas?? Very frugal couples will often agree to get each other nothing, with the idea that there are so many other holiday expenses that anything that helps relieve the budget is a gift. They will also give each other household items (for Christmas, anniversaries, or birthdays) that would otherwise have been put off for another year or two. The things Mom got that stuck in my mind include a new lawn mower (the old one was getting hard to push - the new one was much easier), a janitor quality mop and squeeze bucket, and a dictionary. The dictionary was given just after she had gone back to get her AA. She was thrilled with all of them. Building up their household was a big thing for both of them. Getting new things was a big thing for both of them. And they also liked being a little eccentric. If they ever had a year when they got each other nothing, it would have been a very together thing for them. > [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Seriously, what the shit? My bf and I exchange Amazon wishlists because we both get what we want with none of the bullshit. I love those wishlists. I got my son a gadget called an octopus this year. I’d never in a million years have thought of that thing on my own. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534/20 "2013-12-17T16:29:41Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > If you ask your wife what she wants for Christmas, you are sending the very clear message that you cannot be arsed to think of something on your own. Seriously, could you get any lazier? This year only, you can solve that problem by picking up the phone and asking her best friend or sister for guidance But make it a New Year’s resolution to actually notice her next year. Pay attention to what she likes, what makes her eyes light up. That way, you won’t to go into panic mode on December 18th when it’s finally sunk in that Santa doesn’t really exist, and, oh shit! it’s up to YOU to make your wife’s Christmas special. This X 1000. My God, if you don’t know what to get her, just look at her Amazon/Ebay browsing history! Is it that difficult? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-annual-reminder-for-all-you-moms/676534.md?page=2)