# An Apology to Americans. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 7, 2003, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706 "2003-03-07T14:29:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/61 "2003-03-08T02:01:37Z")
Yeah, can you imagine the size of the red light district the Dutch could have put in that puppy? And the coffee shops. That would have changed _Seinfeld_ quite a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/62 "2003-03-08T02:07:23Z")
We would have just split up the five burroughs by functionality: hooker district, weed district, art district, old fashioned Dutch bar with sailor music district, and of course, football district (and I don’t mean the full body armour kind ;)). Oh well, it wasn’t to be. You Americans just have to come over here to have a look at our small scale prototype, which is still plenty of fun in and of itself. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/63 "2003-03-08T02:23:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* > \*\* Finally, I am sincerely sorry that we haven’t spent more time paying attention to you, but we kinda forget that you’re there, after all we could put all of y’all in New York without even using Statin Island ( and yes, it WOULD do wonders for the place ). We pledge to work harder to incorporate the word “eh” into our everyday conversations, revere the mighty beaver and start drinking beer for breakfast. In this way we hope the ties between our two great countries can be made even stronger. > \*\* This depends on where you are in the US, though. While only serious alcoholics drink at breakfast, “eh?” is an acceptable replacement for “huh?” as the end of a question here. Ex: “You really like sking, eh/huh? You’re one of those bastards who actually likes snow then.” I personally spend more time thinking about Canada than those states in the midwest which are difficult to label on a map. (you know, the Dakotas, Nebraska, Kansas) ’ course Canada is a place I’ve been, so there’s that as an explaination. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/64 "2003-03-08T02:29:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfkin477 \* > \*\*I personally spend more time thinking about Canada than those states in the midwest which are difficult to label on a map. (you know, the Dakotas, Nebraska, Kansas) \*\* [sub]Pssst! North Dakota is the one on _top!_ But don’t worry; nobody knows the difference between Belgium and Holland over here anyway. :p[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/65 "2003-03-08T02:37:08Z")
Uh, okay, I thought I was responding to a post from **Coldfire** with that last post. ":smack: " multiple times. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/66 "2003-03-08T02:37:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hyperjes \* > \*\*I also hated Canadian coins. No one would accept them. But they sure loved to get rid of them by giving them out in change. The only thing to do with them was save up a bunch of US change, then roll it with the Canadian and exchange it for cash at the bank.:rolleyes: \*\* We just use them as regular currency. They just don’t work in vending machines. Although, they do sound cheesy. Drop a Canadian quarter on a good hard table and compare the sound with that of an American quarter. BTW, Canada does seem to produce a disproportionate number of quality comedians. I say it’s the weather. Whatever it is, keep up the good work, eh! ---
**Author:** ![Lynne\_kilii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d26b3c/32.png) [@Lynne\_kilii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynne_kilii)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/67 "2003-03-08T04:54:45Z")
I WANT TO BE CANADIAN! but, in the spirit of american laziness, I don’t wanna move up there. Say what you want, but I do wanna be Canadian. They seem to have their act together more than we do. At least other countries don’t think they’re dumb (Well, we do, but all the other countries think we’re dumb… soooo…). ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/68 "2003-03-08T16:28:21Z")
To be fair, you should move up here. The USA got Ginger, so we should get you in exchange. That’s what the Free Trade agreement is all about. ---
**Author:** ![Stephi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stephi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephi)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/69 "2003-03-08T21:21:03Z")
Following up on the William Shatner thing, I hereby appologize for the fiasco that is Iron Chef USA hosted by William Shatner. “Hey I know! Let’s get Bill Shatner and dress him up in purple sequins!” “Yeah! That’s a great idea for a show!” ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/70 "2003-03-08T23:03:53Z")
I’m mostly cheesed off because Canada caved on the metric thing. You guys are the _traditionalists_, fercryinouloud. You kept the Queen on your currency, your ceremonial military types in kilts (and quite fetching they are, too!) and your standards for civility. Even doughty Canadian pioneer types (everybody outside of Toronto) all wear flannel shirts but they’re by-gum traditional _plaid flannel_. We were COUNTING on you, man, but you bailed. So now us Merkins stand alone once again, but faced with metric-creep from our nearest and dearest. It’s millihecatare this and centicelsius that and next thing ya know it’ll be socialized medicine. That’s cold. That’s just so cold. Veb ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/71 "2003-03-08T23:54:59Z")
On behalf of Americans (from the United States of) everywhere I’d like to offer an apology to the Canada. We haven’t been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I’m sorry we don’t even know the name of your Prime Minister or President or whatever he/she is. I know we should know more about our neighbors but that shouldn’t reflect poorly on the people of Canada. After all it’s not like you actually influence world events. I’m sorry that your food sucks. Too bad all food can’t be made from bacon and maple syrup Too bad about all those coins you use for currency. It’s a little hard to stuff a 2 dollar coin in a Montreal strippers G-string I really like your beer. After beer produced in Germany, Belgium, Ireland, Mexico and Japan your Molsen is great. Don’t worry about Iraq. Just take good care of our draft dodgers while we go fight for the continent. And finally on behalf of all Americans, I’m sorry if our loudness and brashness scares you. We’re really nice once you get to know us. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Lynne\_kilii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d26b3c/32.png) [@Lynne\_kilii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynne_kilii)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/72 "2003-03-09T00:43:17Z")
\*\* Muffin \*\*, I’ll work on it. Maybe. Prolly not. There’s that good old American laziness that I talked about… and I love Denver. You can have me for weekends and holidays though, and for a month in the summer 🙂 . ---
**Author:** ![TitoBenito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2acd7d/32.png) [@TitoBenito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TitoBenito)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/73 "2003-03-09T00:45:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by garius \* > \*\*In the Canadian’s favour, at least they never wasted perfectly good tea by lobbing it into the harbor. > > Plus they did help with that whole “burning the seat of government” thing we did to you. > > Which was tremendous fun. 😉 \*\* Sure they got one of our houses, but think of all the houses we got from them when we kicked the tory bastards into the frozen wastelands. It was only fair. ---
**Author:** ![Stephi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stephi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephi)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/74 "2003-03-09T00:50:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by msmith537 \* > [B Too bad all food can’t be made from bacon and maple syrup > \*\* Actually, we have maple smoked bacon in the local Loblaws here, and it’s fabulous! It’s so good, excuse me while I wipe the drool from my mouth! ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/75 "2003-03-09T00:58:12Z")
The green-eyed monster rises again. I love Canada. Where else can you go, spend half the money and get twice as much, and then go home and enjoy it? No need to apologize. Truly. We understand more than you could ever realize. Some people are just blessed, others are born in Canada. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/76 "2003-03-09T01:13:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stephi \* > \*\*Actually, we have maple smoked bacon in the local Loblaws here, and it’s fabulous! It’s so good, excuse me while I wipe the drool from my mouth! \*\* Okay. So we’re talkin’ ingredients here. So yer bacon is seriously good. All right. No problem. But what’s with the baked beans–_at breakfast?!_ That’s just wrong, so gut-wrenchingly wrong. Not even bacon exellence can overcome that one.\* Veb [sub]\*put 'em on toast and you’re, uh, toast. Ulp.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![CuriousCanuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@CuriousCanuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CuriousCanuck)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/77 "2003-03-09T01:48:27Z")
Veb, may I invite you Northwards to sample and enjoy… you know not what you are missing! Mmmm beans 🙂 (but not too many - just a taste… otherwise bad bad things can happen.) ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/78 "2003-03-09T03:47:40Z")
So, we’re not bitching about the money any more? I need to keep up a little better. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/79 "2003-03-09T05:08:22Z")
Canada: The fat lazy guy who sits in his recliner and criticizes everything he sees on TV from the comfort and security of his home, never understanding the precarious position of life in the spotlight. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706/80 "2003-03-09T08:42:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stephi \* > Actually, we have maple smoked bacon in the local Loblaws here, and it’s fabulous! It’s so good, excuse me while I wipe the drool from my mouth! \*\* Shit! I haven’t heard of Loblaws since I was a 5 yr old living in Erie, PA. Still…I’m a little pissed offf that the “best steak in Montreal” tasted like something I might order at Friendlie’s [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology-to-americans/159706.md?page=5)