# An Apology **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337 "2005-05-24T21:51:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/21 "2005-05-25T16:35:18Z")
I got the impression that the thread was closed because of what it had turned into (or was threatening to turn into), not because of what it had started out as. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/22 "2005-05-25T16:35:21Z")
> [@Seeker74](#): > > If you’re referring to me: Yes, I do get grossed out when I see big chicks wear clothing that accentuates the fat. There’s a line between “fat and damned proud of it” and “fat and don’t care about my appearance.” And there are plenty of non-fat chicks out there who wear clothes that are unflattering. That grosses me out, too. Word. The pants would have been fine had they not been sheer, but the tank top would still have been a bad idea. I once saw a woman with a huge gut (99% certain she was not pregnant, either) wearing a dark top and white stretch pants pulled up over the gut to under her boobs (and she had a big ass too). “Hey, I think I’ll accentuate my worst feature so nobody misses it!” I have a gut and rolls too, but because of how I dress, people often don’t believe me when I tell them how much I weigh or show them what’s actually under there. I frequently get compliments on how nice my clothes look on me. And before anyone gets on me about “what’s a fat person supposed to wear when it’s hot,” allow me to direct you to my closet full of lovely loose gauzy garments that skim rather than hug my body, shading it from the sun while allowing my skin to catch every breeze. I’m still trying to get my mom to stop wearing the stretch denims that make her legs look like big sausages, and the tight T-shirts that ride up on the top of her butt and just accentuate it. I’ve offered to take her shopping and even buy her a few things, but she won’t have it, although she is unhappy with her weight. I keep thinking that if she could see herself looking even a little better, she might be just a little happier. (At least she has finally joined Curves – she’s dieted on and off all her life, but has never done a serious exercise regimen, as far as I know. We’ll see.) Trust me, from my own experiences and those of too many of my friends and family, I know how hard it is to be fat. But some of us don’t help ourselves, either. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/23 "2005-05-25T16:41:03Z")
Scarlett67, you rock. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/24 "2005-05-25T16:51:35Z")
**Scarlett67** - umm…if you’re ever planning on coming down to Chicago… Will you take me shopping and show me what to buy, please? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/25 "2005-05-25T16:53:03Z")
> [@UrbanChic](#): > > Scarlett67, you rock. I’ll second that. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/26 "2005-05-25T17:14:47Z")
Er, um, thanks! (It’s just common sense, really . . .) I once saw a photo in a magazine of some celebrity – wish I could remember her name (I don’t think she’s particularly “current” anymore), but she was a very large black woman. I wish I had clipped the picture – she was wearing a fabulous red dress and a brilliant smile and looked like a million bucks. I often think of her when I shop for clothes. I mean, I can admire Margaret Cho for saying “fuck you” to the whole diet and beauty industry (and I enjoy her humor), but I just can’t watch her in some of her shows. Fat does not have to be dumpy. Wear fun, forgiving clothes and people see the style, not the fat. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/27 "2005-05-25T17:18:12Z")
Well, it was sort of “fat-bashy” even if **Stars** didn’t _really_ mean it. He basically said, “bridesmaid gets what she deserves for acting like a bitch.” If she was a smoking hot babe who looked great with her panties showing through sheer pants, we would not have be having this discussion. So, let’s not get too carried away with the “I’m laughing at the fashion _faux pas_ not the 6 inches of butt remaining BELOW the bottom of her panties” talk. It was laughing at a fat person. Whole different discussion about whether we should be able to make fun of the fat here. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/28 "2005-05-25T18:02:07Z")
I just saw the OP stating the story as the equivalent of Bitchy Bridesmaid coming out the bathroom with her dress tucked into the back of her drawers. Wouldn’t matter if she was 110 or 310, it was hilariously delicious considering her previous behavior. If she had been a nicer person then it would’ve still been funny (IMO\*), but in an “Awww, poor girl, heh" sort of way. \*This is from the girl trucking around an AeroSmith concert with 3 yards of TP attached to each shoe…sometimes you just gotta laugh at yourself. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/29 "2005-05-25T18:15:38Z")
I don’t believe anyone who says they were ONLY talking about the hideous outfit and that her size had nothing to do with it. If she were some gorgeous model, the thread would have gone something like this: “What hideous pants, and to wear them at a wedding!” “Yeah, but check out that ass! She’s hot.” “Those pants are see-through, though, and at a wedding!” “Who cares, she’s smokin’ hot. Wish her shirt were made of the same material.” “But those pants!” “Check out how that thong goes right up her butt! Man I’d like to get me some of that!” Etc. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/30 "2005-05-25T18:35:53Z")
Chiming in: I don’t think you have anything to apologize for, **StarsApart**. _hugs_ Some other posters… well. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/31 "2005-05-25T19:45:43Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > Well, it was sort of “fat-bashy” even if **Stars** didn’t _really_ mean it. > > He basically said, “bridesmaid gets what she deserves for acting like a bitch.” > > If she was a smoking hot babe who looked great with her panties showing through sheer pants, we would not have be having this discussion. > > So, let’s not get too carried away with the “I’m laughing at the fashion _faux pas_ not the 6 inches of butt remaining BELOW the bottom of her panties” talk. It was laughing at a fat person. > > Whole different discussion about whether we should be able to make fun of the fat here. I disagree. If she had been slender, people would have been saying she looked like a ho. Paris Hilton is thin as a rail, and right now people are snarking on her\* humping-the-car Carl’s Jr. commercial, and many are saying she’s too skinny to be sexy. The point is, her **underwear!** was showing, and most Americans still have the “I see London, I see France” mentality. I’m of the opinion that no one, no matter how intrinsically attractive, looks “great” with their panties showing through sheer pants. \*Not just on this board, I mean. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/32 "2005-05-25T21:41:15Z")
Sorry to dissapoint, but that underwear was gross, even if say Heather Graham had those clothes on it would be laughably bad. ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/33 "2005-05-25T22:01:03Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > I disagree. If she had been slender, people would have been saying she looked like a ho. Paris Hilton is thin as a rail, and right now people are snarking on her\* humping-the-car Carl’s Jr. commercial, and many are saying she’s too skinny to be sexy. The point is, her **underwear!** was showing, and most Americans still have the “I see London, I see France” mentality. I’m of the opinion that no one, no matter how intrinsically attractive, looks “great” with their panties showing through sheer pants. > > \*Not just on this board, I mean. My grandmother, bless her, once said “A lady is someone who doesn’t show her undwear _accidentally_.” I’ve lived by that fine distinction 😃 ---
**Author:** ![StarsApart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecc23a/32.png) [@StarsApart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarsApart)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/34 "2005-05-25T23:27:02Z")
Well, there’s nothing I can really say to convince **Trunk** or anybody else who’s thinking along the same lines as s/he that I didn’t intend, even deeeeep down inside, for it to be ‘fat-bashy’. All I can say is that I honestly did not intend to and that, as I said in the other thread, I still would have giggled a li’l and taken a picture even if she weighed 110 pounds and was smokin’ hot. 'Cause those pants… jesus. And for the record, I’m a girl. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/35 "2005-05-26T03:56:59Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > I disagree. If she had been slender, people would have been saying she looked like a ho. Paris Hilton is thin as a rail, and right now people are snarking on her\* humping-the-car Carl’s Jr. commercial, and many are saying she’s too skinny to be sexy. The point is, her **underwear!** was showing, and most Americans still have the “I see London, I see France” mentality. I’m of the opinion that no one, no matter how intrinsically attractive, looks “great” with their panties showing through sheer pants. > > \*Not just on this board, I mean. As somebody on this message board once said, “I see London, I see Asscrackistan!” (I think it was **CrazyCatLady**?) It was tacky because it was tacky, not because she was fat. It was _particularly_ unflattering on a person of her size, not because she’s fat but because she can’t dress herself. I would have hooted at the picture just as much if she’d been skinny. I wear a size 4, and I put a certain amount of effort into making sure nobody sees my underwear _accidentally_. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/36 "2005-05-26T10:58:56Z")
Zsofia, I love the emphasis on accidently. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337/37 "2005-05-26T15:29:13Z")
> [@Idlewild](#): > > My grandmother, bless her, once said “A lady is someone who doesn’t show her undwear _accidentally_.” > > I’ve lived by that fine distinction 😃 Fantastic 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apology/305337.md?page=1)