# An Apostrophe to the Gum-Chewing Siren at My Left **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 29, 2005, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725 "2005-07-29T12:43:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/1 "2005-07-29T12:43:28Z")
This morning on the train it was my misfortune to be sitting next to a startling beauty of the Scarlett Johansson mold. She was—the entire trip—chomping, slack-jawed and audibly, on a beleaguered wad of gum. I had to close my upstage eye to block her out of my vision, for I was a hair’s-breadth away from pouncing on her and thrashing her soundly for the slatternly fishwife she was, till she choked on her vile cud. There, I feel a little better now. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/2 "2005-07-29T12:46:00Z")
Are you sure it was gum she chewed, and not her brain? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/3 "2005-07-29T12:47:08Z")
Too bad you didn’t have a cup of coffee you could sip like a ripsaw. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/4 "2005-07-29T13:01:17Z")
Wow, and I bet you HAVE NO annoying habits. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/5 "2005-07-29T13:08:59Z")
. . . but am I the only one who thinks Scarlett Johansson is unattractive? I’m sure she’s a perfectly nice person, and she wouldn’t scare me if I saw her on the street, but really, I just don’t think she’s all that. With or without gum. As for the OP, I would recommend closing your upstage ear as well. For me, it’s less about the appearance and more about the smacky noises. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/6 "2005-07-29T13:17:02Z")
The gum-chewing female and the cud-chewing cow are very alike yet different, somehow. Wherein the difference? I think I know now. It’s the thoughtful expression –on the face of the cow. It’s astonishing how an unguarded habit can take over a face like that. Whenever I hear about such horrible manners, I just has t’spit, does I. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/7 "2005-07-29T13:23:20Z")
I myself long for the return of the conveniently-placed spitoon in every corner public house. Now THERE’S a good habit. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/8 "2005-07-29T13:30:57Z")
> [@Go You Big Red Fire Engine](#): > > Wow, and I bet you HAVE NO annoying habits. Habits are one thing, manners are another. Chewing with your mouth closed is just good manners. Eve, you should have asked her if perhaps she was doing some sort of performance art. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/9 "2005-07-29T13:32:32Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Too bad you didn’t have a cup of coffee you could sip like a ripsaw. Heh. Or better yet , a cold drink with a couple of straws in it. Noisily blow bubbles into the drink. Brownie points if you stick the straws up your nose to blow the bubbles. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/10 "2005-07-29T14:06:54Z")
Am I the only one here who had to do a Google Image search to find out what Scarlett Johansson looks like? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/11 "2005-07-29T14:08:22Z")
It’s times like these I long for a lorgnette to glare haughtily through, though no doubt so subtle a cut would be lost on a slovenly hussy such as herself. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/12 "2005-07-29T14:09:27Z")
> [@Go You Big Red Fire Engine](#): > > Wow, and I bet you HAVE NO annoying habits. Yeah, **Eve** , didn’t you know you’re not allowed to Pit something unless you’re perfect??? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/13 "2005-07-29T14:10:42Z")
> [@The King of Soup](#): > > The gum-chewing female > and the cud-chewing cow > are very alike > yet different, somehow. > Wherein the difference? > I think I know now. > It’s the thoughtful expression > –on the face of the cow. > > It’s astonishing how an unguarded habit can take over a face like that. Whenever I hear about such horrible manners, I just has t’spit, does I. oh my god… my junior high band teacher had that on a poster on the wall… I haven’t chewed gum more than a dozen times since then… ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/14 "2005-07-29T14:17:57Z")
> [@badbadrubberpiggy](#): > > Yeah, **Eve** , didn’t you know you’re not allowed to Pit something unless you’re perfect??? :rolleyes: As, indeed, I am, therefore my Pitting of said loathsome harridan. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/15 "2005-07-29T14:18:46Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > As, indeed, I am, therefore my Pitting of said loathsome harridan. So true! ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/16 "2005-07-29T14:27:59Z")
> [@auntie em](#): > > . . . but am I the only one who thinks Scarlett Johansson is unattractive? Yep. A week or two ago I finally saw Girl With a Pearl Earring. The scene where she licks her lips – holy cow. She’s like the second coming of Reese Witherspoon, but an even better actress. And hopefully she won’t make the mistakes Reese has made – stay away from the romantic comedy, Scarlett, stay away! In Good Company was OK because you were a side plot, but you must never take the lead in such a role! –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/17 "2005-07-29T14:32:38Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Am I the only one here who had to do a Google Image search to find out what Scarlett Johansson looks like? No. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/18 "2005-07-29T14:32:50Z")
You know, I love to make all kinds of pops and cracks when I chew gum. To me, it’s totally not worth it if I don’t have a symphony going on in my mouth. But, I’m a grown up lady and have been for a number of years so guess what? I don’t chew gum in public! ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/19 "2005-07-29T14:40:58Z")
> [@auntie em](#): > > . . . but am I the only one who thinks Scarlett Johansson is unattractive? I’m sure she’s a perfectly nice person, and she wouldn’t scare me if I saw her on the street, but really, I just don’t think she’s all that. . She is pretty in a very generic, run of the mill Hollywood starlet way. She not high on my list of beauties, but she is by any normal standard very attractive and would be one the best look women in almost any office she worked in, if that had been her path. Umm, was it the “gum chewing” or the “open mouth chewing” that upset you? We all have pet peeves, but it seems like an extreme reaction. My pet peeve was always chewing tobacco. This seems to have mostly died out now. I really prefer that people are chewing gum to Tobacci. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725/20 "2005-07-29T14:46:41Z")
Tell her that if she’s going to masticate inappropriately she should at least let out a moan every now and again for her audience. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-apostrophe-to-the-gum-chewing-siren-at-my-left/314725.md?page=2)