# An e-mail from the FBI...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [December 11, 2008, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740 "2008-12-11T18:08:34Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@erleichda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erleichda)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/1 "2008-12-11T18:08:34Z")
Sometimes these are fun to get. Should I make cookies for the FBI?
ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITORY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
Website: [www.fbi.gov](http://www.fbi.gov)
[Email:FBIwashington@mail101washington.com](mailto:Email:FBIwashington@mail101washington.com) ATTN: FUND BENEFICIARY, Please note that the F.B.I will be in your door post in the next 7 working days for an interrogation about your involvement in attempt of illegal money transfer in your bank account. It was revealed to our team by the INTERPOL that you were involved in trying to conclude an international money transfer into your bank account without following the due process thereby, indicating possible money laundering and terrorism sponsorship. Recall, you were asked by the Nigerian authorities to obtain the Diplomatic Seal Of Transfer {DIST} that will clear you of any involvement in this dastard act but you ignored that. We advice that you contact us immediately as the money have been Stopped and is being held in our custody until you are able to provide us with a diplomatic immunity seal of transfer (dist) within 14 days from the Central Bank Nigeria where the funds was transferred to certify that the funds you are about to receive has nothing to do with Anti-terrorist, Drug and Money Laundering free. To this regards, you are to re-assure and proof to us that the fund you are about to receive has nothing to do with Terrorist, Drug and Money Laundering fund by sending to us the FBI Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST) to prove to us that the fund you are about to receive is legitimate. You are to forward the documents to us immediately if you have it in your possession. If you don’t have it, let us know so that we will direct and inform you where to obtain the document and send to us so that we will ask the bank holding the funds to go ahead and credit your account immediately. Faithfully Yours Mr. Robert S. Mueller F.B.I DIRECTOR.
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### Author:  [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/2 "2008-12-11T18:23:57Z")
mONITORY CRIMES
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### Author:  [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/3 "2008-12-11T18:34:14Z")
> [@](#):
>
> [Email:FBIwashington@mail101washington.com](mailto:Email:FBIwashington@mail101washington.com)
Shouldn’t this address be something @fbi.gov?:dubious:
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### Author:  [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/4 "2008-12-11T18:36:44Z")
Yep, clearly a Phishing scam attempt, or the FBI has undergone some dramatic downsizing due to the economy and is now working out of a storefront in a mini-mall…
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### Author:  [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/5 "2008-12-11T18:41:34Z")
Well, when you commit a dastard act you have to expect this kind of thing.
You dastard.
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### Author:  [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/6 "2008-12-11T18:46:08Z")
Of course they’ve downsized. In fact, they’ve had to amalgamate their Anti-Terrorism and Monetary Crimes units… those used to be two entirely separate divisions.
In fact, you remember that whole Homeland Security thing? Yeah, the new Anti-Terrorism and Monitory Crimes Division handles that too now. Soon they’ll absorb CTU and the emails will begin coming from Jack Bauer instead, just you wait and see.
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### Author:  [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/7 "2008-12-11T19:03:55Z")
Faithfully Yours,
The Director of the Freakin’ FBI
(ignore the free webmail address, k? thnx!)
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### Author:  [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/8 "2008-12-11T19:06:49Z")
Um …
I mean, far be it from me to question the movements of the FBI, for I am sure they can be stealthy and mysterious, but I think if I were to come home and find the FBI in my door post, I’d be kind of weirded out. Especially when I’m not even sure what a door post is.
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/9 "2008-12-11T19:10:32Z")
> [@Mindfield](#):
>
> Um …
>
> I mean, far be it from me to question the movements of the FBI, for I am sure they can be stealthy and mysterious, but I think if I were to come home and find the FBI in my door post, I’d be kind of weirded out. Especially when I’m not even sure what a door post is.
That’s when people pit airmen who almost draw down on people in crowded bars.
But be careful… you don’t want to be involved in anti-terrorist activities.
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### Author:  [@Hi\_Neighbor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Neighbor)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/10 "2008-12-11T19:10:38Z")
“Faithfully Yours”
Are you and the Director of the F.B.I. sleeping together?
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### Author:  [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/11 "2008-12-11T19:12:18Z")
I got one of those recently. It told me that they were aware that I had been ripped off by Nigerian scammers, and had managed to get the money I was owed. All I had to do was give them a couple of hundred dollars, and they’d send me an ATM card(?) loaded with cash. But the email address I was given was a yahoo one.
Brilliant.
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### Author:  [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/12 "2008-12-11T19:22:20Z")
I like the new kindler, gentler FBI.
All you have to do is “reassure” them that the money “has nothing to do with Anti-terrorist, Drug and Money Laundering”. No trials or messy court cases needed.
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### Author:  [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/13 "2008-12-11T19:30:59Z")
> [@Mahna\_Mahna](#):
>
> Of course they’ve downsized. \ Soon they’ll absorb CTU and the emails will begin coming from Jack Bauer instead, just you wait and see.
So, IOW, you’ll _HAVE_ to respond to their e-mails or _THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WILL DIE!!!_
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### Author:  [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/14 "2008-12-11T19:37:33Z")
And we all know that the FBI gives criminals a warning about when they plan to show up.
“Damn it, Edgar, the terrorist’s not here _again!_.”
“But you made an appointment.”
“Maybe he forgot to put it on his calendar. I’ll let him know again.”
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### Author:  [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/15 "2008-12-11T19:52:17Z")
> [@neutron\_star](#):
>
> Faithfully Yours,
> The Director of the Freakin’ FBI
“What, are you **dense**? Are you **retarded** or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I’m the **goddamn FBI Director**!”
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### Author:  [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/16 "2008-12-11T19:59:08Z")
Scams like these make me damn glad my grandmother doesn’t use e-mail.
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### Author:  [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/17 "2008-12-11T20:11:04Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#):
>
> That’s when people pit airmen who almost draw down on people in crowded bars.
>
> But be careful… you don’t want to be involved in anti-terrorist activities.
But … they _know_ I’m not involved in anything like that! Just ask the INTERPOL, they’ll tell you! Send them an E-Mail [interpol\_boss@gmail.com](mailto:interpol_boss@gmail.com) and they’ll show I’m clean. Be sure to give your name, address and social security number to prove you are who you say you are.
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### Author:  [@Frazzled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frazzled)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/18 "2008-12-11T20:17:00Z")
Those dastards!
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### Author:  [@luv2draw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luv2draw)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/19 "2008-12-11T20:54:16Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#):
>
> Scams like these make me damn glad my grandmother doesn’t use e-mail.
Yeah, and I’m glad all my older relatives who would have fallen for this if they were even computer literate are dead.
The young, stupid ones are on their own…
😃
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### Author:  [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2008, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-e-mail-from-the-fbi/476740/20 "2008-12-11T21:31:59Z")
I’m hearing this in the voice of Keanu Reeves in _Point Break._
“I…am an F!B!I! Agent!”
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