# An elephant joke **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2002, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140 "2002-12-16T19:11:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/1 "2002-12-16T19:11:44Z")
I have a job at the zoo circumcizing elephants… The salary sucks, but the tips are HUGE. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/2 "2002-12-16T19:16:27Z")
Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in cherry trees! I’ve never seen an elephant in a cherry tree. See, it works. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/3 "2002-12-16T19:25:01Z")
See, I heard it this way: Q: Why do elephants paint their balls red? A: So they can hide in cherry trees! Q: What’s the loudest sound in the jungle? A: Giraffes eating cherries. And, my favorite elephant joke: Q: Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? A: Because if they were small, white, and smooth, they’d be aspirin. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/4 "2002-12-16T19:38:33Z")
How do you get down from an elephant? You don’t! You get down from a goose. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/5 "2002-12-16T20:01:53Z")
Why do elephant dentists prefer to work in Alabama? Because Tuscaloosa there! ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/6 "2002-12-16T20:37:30Z")
What do elephants and milk have in common? They both come in quarts. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/7 "2002-12-16T20:47:44Z")
Ooooh! My favorite class of jokes! Elephant Jokes! How are elephants and prunes alike? They’re both purple and wrinkled, except for the elephants. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants approaching? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when she saw the elephants approaching? Here come the prunes! (Jane was colorblind) Why do elephants have flat feet? So they can stamp out flaming ducks What’s the brown stuff between an elephant’s toes? slow moving pygmies How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find his footprints in the butter ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/8 "2002-12-16T21:13:24Z")
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros? Elephino ( pronounced: hell if I know ) Bahh! NEXT ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/9 "2002-12-16T22:15:29Z")
(Safeway is a west coast supermarket chain) How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway shopping cart? You take the ‘S’ out of ‘SAFE’ and the ‘F’ out of ‘WAY’… ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/10 "2002-12-16T22:17:57Z")
Heh, I bet y’all didn’t realize that an elephants genitalia are on the bottom of his feet. True scientific fact. … … … If one steps on you, you’re fucked. What did the elephant say to the naked man? … … … … “How do you breathe through that tiny thing?” Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/11 "2002-12-16T22:20:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by White Lightning \* > \*\*(Safeway is a west coast supermarket chain) > > How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway shopping cart? > > You take the ‘S’ out of ‘SAFE’ and the ‘F’ out of ‘WAY’… \*\* I hate to do this to you, but: duhhhh, I don’t get it. 😕 Daniel ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/12 "2002-12-16T22:24:07Z")
Yeah…there is no "f’ in way. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/13 "2002-12-16T22:33:54Z")
How do you kill a pink elephant? Shoot it with a pink elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Tickle it pink and shoot it with a pink elephant gun. ---
**Author:** ![elephant\_shoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@elephant\_shoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elephant_shoes)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/14 "2002-12-16T23:14:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LolaCocaCola \* > \*\*Yeah…there is no "f’ in way. > > 😕 \*\* Sooo… there’s no effin way you’ll get an elephant in a shopping cart? ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/15 "2002-12-16T23:25:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elephant shoes \* > \*\*Sooo… there’s no effin way you’ll get an elephant in a shopping cart? \*\* oooooohhhhhhh! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/16 "2002-12-16T23:30:54Z")
In a different but related vein, What’s green and brown and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table What’s long, brown, and sticky? A stick ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/17 "2002-12-17T00:08:10Z")
“Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.” - Groucho Marx ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/18 "2002-12-17T00:36:34Z")
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? Big giant holes all over Australia! Psst, White Lightning, we have Safeway here on the East Coast, too. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/19 "2002-12-17T14:42:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by \*\*LolaCocaCola \*\*\* > Yeah…there is no "f’ in way. Man, I love that joke. Gets me every time. No foolin’, **BiblioCat**? I had no idea. ---
**Author:** ![snac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90db22/32.png) [@snac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snac)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140/20 "2002-12-17T15:02:20Z")
Why does an elephant have cracks between its toes? …To carry its library card. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elephant-joke/143140.md?page=2)