# An Elf Speaks Out on North Pole Inspections **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 5, 2002, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elf-speaks-out-on-north-pole-inspections/140701 "2002-12-05T15:40:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elf-speaks-out-on-north-pole-inspections/140701/101 "2002-12-12T19:03:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Go alien \* > \*\*Ms Jar, Ms Jar, > > C. L. O’Canth, _Cryptoichyology Weekly_ > > You said: > > So who then is Jingle Belle Claus’s mother? Or father? \*\* Ms. **jarbabyj** — Isn’t it true that Jingle Belle Claus’ birth mother is an Brazilian elf working under the name “Rotating Trixie” in Miami, where she is employed as an exotic dancer? And, can you explain these check stubs from Santa to Ms.“Trixie” labeled “Alimony”? And just what _does_ Mr. Speed Racer of Tokyo, Japan have to say about this relationship of Santa’s? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elf-speaks-out-on-north-pole-inspections/140701/102 "2002-12-12T19:08:57Z")
Excuse me folks, excuse me. Perhaps none of you have calendars. Perhaps none of you are aware of the passage of time. Perhaps you’re so cold hearted that you don’t want us to get our work done in time…but IT IS DECEMBER 12th, PEOPLE. I HAVE GOT THINGS TO DO. Your dirt digging expedition will have to wait until Santa returns to base on the 26th. I’ve got about 35 kittens crawling around my desk right now, and I"m trying to arrange for their transport to Vermont and Connecticut. SO PLEASE. AGAIN PLEASE. CUT US SOME SLACK. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elf-speaks-out-on-north-pole-inspections/140701/103 "2002-12-12T22:00:29Z")
Ms. Jar? Excuse me for one minute…but… YOU STARTED IT! Now let us reporters finsih our jobs. We’ll be out of your hair as soon as we get complete and accurate answers to our questions. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elf-speaks-out-on-north-pole-inspections/140701/104 "2002-12-12T23:36:30Z")
I STARTED IT MANY MANY DAYS AGO, and now the Christmas packing is at a fevered, if not berzerker pitch. I simply don’t…have…time. Now take your microphone and cram it, or it’s Splinter Filled Lincoln Logs for the lot of ya ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elf-speaks-out-on-north-pole-inspections/140701/105 "2002-12-12T23:38:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > **Now take your microphone and cram it…** Ooooo…did we get somebody’s pointed shoes in a bunch or something? Does this outburst qualify you for Santa’s _Naughty_ list? ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elf-speaks-out-on-north-pole-inspections/140701/106 "2002-12-13T05:11:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > I’ve got about 35 kittens crawling around my desk right now, and I"m trying to arrange for their transport to Vermont and Connecticut. Can I have the orange one? The one under your chair, not the one climbing into the bottom drawer. ---
**Author:** ![TelcontarStorm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ab097/32.png) [@TelcontarStorm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TelcontarStorm)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2002, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elf-speaks-out-on-north-pole-inspections/140701/107 "2002-12-25T22:24:20Z")
Mz. Jar… A Moment of your time please? To reintroduce myself, I’m from _Outraged Parents Quartly_ I noticed you did the ol’ quick exit when the Q of money came up. Now, I can unnerstand being buzy, but could ya at leat adressed the problem??? I’ll be back next year with the same Q sweety. Don’t go anywhere 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-elf-speaks-out-on-north-pole-inspections/140701.md?page=5)