# An excuse for war **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 4, 2002, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319 "2002-12-04T00:52:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/1 "2002-12-04T00:52:58Z")
While in AP European history class today, I was highly amused when my teacher told us about one of the wars of the eighteenth century. It was called **The War of Jenkin’s Ear**. Jenkin was an English Captain whose ear got cut off by the Spaniards. He preserved the ear in a jar of brandy. Eight years later, when the English wanted an excuse to go to war, they brought out the brandied ear and pronounced the Spaniards barbarous. They used that as an excuse to declare war on them. So, now that most of us are pretty sure that war with some of the Middle East is imminent, what excuses could they use? (The more ridiculous, the better) ~monica ---
**Author:** ![Dignan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dignan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dignan)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/2 "2002-12-04T01:25:37Z")
You’re learning about that war in high school? I didn’t hear about it until my first year of college. Just another reason to hate my old high school and curse it for being crummy. ---
**Author:** ![Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/db5fbb/32.png) [@Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fred)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/3 "2002-12-04T01:44:35Z")
Then you’ll really hate your previous educators when I tell you that I learned about it in **grade** school. I was going to say something funny about a slight injury like a hangnail to an American soldier during the previous Gulf War, and going into war as revenge. But then I remembered that people died during the Gulf War, which isn’t so funny. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/4 "2002-12-04T02:57:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by monica \* > \*\*So, now that most of us are pretty sure that war with some of the Middle East is imminent, what excuses could they use? (The more ridiculous, the better) > \*\* Job security? :: d & r :: Tripler “War, HUH! What is it good for . . .?” A paycheck. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/5 "2002-12-04T03:18:25Z")
Didn’t the USA and Great Britain once almost go to war over a pig. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/6 "2002-12-04T04:55:42Z")
security? oooo maybe I shouldn’ta said that:smack:… I could just _feel_ this thread justa simmerin’…:eek: ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/7 "2002-12-04T05:34:17Z")
Didn’t the Trojan War start over some hootchie? ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/8 "2002-12-04T13:18:57Z")
The best i remember reading was (i think) on the satirewire website - it was something along the lines of: BUSH JR: “Oh…um, well last time we were in Iraq dad dropped his wallet and i’m just going back to look for it” ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/9 "2002-12-04T13:26:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dignan \* > \*\*You’re learning about that war in high school? I didn’t hear about it until my first year of college. Just another reason to hate my old high school and curse it for being crummy. \*\* _cough_ This is the first I’ve ever heard of it. I was a history undergrad\*. And I didn’t hear of the Soccer Wars in Latin America until last year. \*To be fair, my focus was on medieval European history, not the more recent 18th Century. And a survey of European history was _not_ required, so it just may never have come up in any of the classes I was in. My HS did suck though, so I’m not surprised it never came up there. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/10 "2002-12-04T18:46:59Z")
What **Lsura** said. Except I’m not a history major—I do love the subject, though. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/11 "2002-12-04T19:19:10Z")
Bad excuse for war : Mr. Fang’s Baghdad[sup]_[/sup] [newspaper](http://www.examiner.com/) needs to up its readership. [sup]_[/sup]okay, that should be -by-the-bay by and by. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/12 "2002-12-04T19:42:09Z")
Arch-Duke Ferdinand was not murdered. Rather, he slipped in the bath on a bar of Belgian bath soap. Being a vain man, in his dying breath he muttered “Murder” (or the equivalent in his native tongue) thus began the conflagration which came to be known as World War I. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/13 "2002-12-04T19:48:44Z")
The French and Indian War was \*really[/] faught over Hunting Rights in Upstate Maine. The Hundred Years War is said to have lasted _107 years_. Actually, it lasted only about 3 1/2 years, and was caused by a dispute between Cucoo Clock Makers and Calander Printers over Daylight savings Time. ---
**Author:** ![Dignan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dignan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dignan)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/14 "2002-12-04T19:55:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by the grim spectre of red death \* > \*\*Then you’ll really hate your previous educators when I tell you that I learned about it in **grade** school. > \*\* I can’t say that I’m surprised. I was in a different state for middle school and after moving I wasn’t too thrilled to be covering old material when I arrived at my new high school. ---
**Author:** ![Superspy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/22d042/32.png) [@Superspy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superspy)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-excuse-for-war/140319/15 "2002-12-04T20:11:37Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Winston Smith_ > Arch-Duke Ferdinand was not murdered. Rather, he slipped in the bath on a bar of Belgian bath soap. Being a vain man, in his dying breath he muttered “Murder” (or the equivalent in his native tongue) thus began the conflagration which came to be known as World War I. Wow I had always been taught otherwise, and every bit of research I’ve tried has been contrary to this. Where did you find this information, Winston?