I don’t think this has been corrected, but the correction is important: he didn’t lose a scholarship. Instead, he lost the chance at a scholarship. Nothing indicates whether he’s an all-star lacrosse player who was certain to get an all-expense-paid tuition, or whether he’s a benchwarmer who made the team because the coach felt sorry for him.
And that’s what makes me so suspicious. Everything in the article that he or his family says seems very carefully worded to give a misleading impression.
I’ll clarify. The concept of sex as an act needs to be part of the harassment for the harassment to be described as “sexual” harassment.
The harassing actions do not have to include an actual sex act.
If its true that the teacher told him to quit it before, then I side with her. If not, then it depends on if he pressed his lips to her neck on purpose.
Agreed, however I am concerned that our society only has sexual harassment as a descriptor for any unwanted physical contact. Not all physical contact between people of differing genders is sexual.
We really really need a spectrum, else my accidentally touching elbows with my seatmate on a plane be deemed sexual harassment.
So a boss asking a female subordinate out after saying she has nice tits is not sexual harrassment because its a request for a date not sex and he’s complementing her figure - she should be flattered.
Why would he lose his chance at a lacrosse scholarship? His parents just need to enroll him in another school with a lacrosse team. If the nearest one is an hour drive there and back, welp. Suck it up, tough titty.
That’s clarifying? What does “the concept” of sex as an act mean?
Is ass slapping okay? How about motorboating?
Do you think kids have the ability to choose whatever public school they want to attend? It is my understanding that this is typically not the case.
Would you do any of these things to your mother when visiting over the holidays? Would you hug your mother?
I’m going to go out on a straw filled limb here and suggest that ass slapping, tit complementing and cleavage nosing are more sexually suggestive acts than hugging, and you know that.
That is the difference between an affectionate gesture and a sexual gesture.
Cheesesteak, I’m commenting on these statements of yours:
You didn’t answer my first question, so I still don’t understand what you’re getting at.
Of course I know that. But how is intercourse necessarily part of any of the above scenarios?
First, when I hug my mother, I don’t press my lips to her neck, and if you do, that’s creepy, dude. (I mean, unless you’re my stepfather, in which case just don’t tell me about it, okay?)
Second, much as it pains me to avoid the obvious joke, your mom isn’t the golden standard for sexual behavior. We use “sexual harassment” to describe physical actions that are inappropriately intimate with someone else, including actions that violate a person’s personal space in an intimate manner without injuring them. It may be that there ought to be another term for this sort of act, but I’m not sure what it’d be, or even why we’d need another term.
So you wouldn’t mind if this kid did the same thing to your wife/girlfriend?
Second, hugging is a very intimate act. At a certain level (and I am not a woman so I may be completely wrong) someone staring at cleavage and even commenting on it may be distasteful and sexual however hugging is a very intimate act and I would think more invasive and “sexually harrassing” than something that is non-physical.
But I tell you what. Why don’t you go out and hug 20 women on the street but tell them it’s non-sexual and tell us how that works out?
Seems like a bit of an overreaction. The teacher certainly has the right not to want to be hugged, and if he’s been warned maybe detention is warranted, but not suspension. And unless he was grabbing at naughty bits, it’s not seal harassment. The best way to avoid this sort of thing is just to approach the person you want to hug with arms open, and let them come the rest of the way.
For many people there is no difference when it involves physical touch between people of the opposite sex.
Like **dracoi **and **jackdavinci **said, if you’re just a naturally huggy-huggy/touchy-feely/press the flesh kind of person, then just stand there offering the hug() and let the other person accept or reject it. But after a couple of times, get the message – if you insist in doing so over and over against the objections and to the distress of the other person you may still fall afoul of rules. Once or twice offering the hug() in good faith with no ill intent is not per se offensive or an assault, but insisting after the person has declined and made it clear it’s not appreciated is jerkish, even in our culture where casual innocent contact between people of all sexes is common (I’d have gone for a more limited suspension, but still he needed disciplinary action; he has to become aware *the other person *decides if/when to allow contact.)
(*or as per your preference handshake, highfive, Present Arms, etc.)
Well, laying your hands on me after I have objected and warned you not to do so may constitute common battery, depending on the laws in the jurisdiction. Sexual harassment can refer to a specific incident or to a pattern of behavior: if he has been previusly advised to stop unwanted physical contact ans he insists on it, there is your pattern. Let him argue that he also snuggles up to his male teachers and coaches.
So, Cheesesteak, got any cardboard tubes lying around?
Maybe she should have just not said anything and let it continue. Then she could really get the kid in trouble when he finally jumps her and rapes her in the parking lot on her way to her car. That is if he doesn’t kill her too. He’s old enough to know better and, he was warned already. He says he’s a hugger, I wonder if he hugs his male teachers like this. I was 17 once(long ago) I remember how a 17 YO boy thinks, he’s just trying to cop a feel and got called on it. He fucked up,now he’s backpedaling and lying about it.
This is a fair enough point. I’m not thrilled with the idea that the term “sexual harassment” includes unwanted touching that is affectionate but non-sexual, but it’s not the hill I’m going to die on.
It’s absolutely inappropriate touching and deserves punishment, but I’ll drop out of arguing whether sexual harassment is the right term.
Of course it’s sexual harassment. I had to turn in a colleague who harassed me in several ways. What business did he have going out of his way to touch me when I had told him specifically NOT to. Then he said, in front of several faculty members, “Oh, I forgot! You don’t like to be touched…” (I had already told a present colleague that that comment would be his next move.)
He was very much a part of lay ministry and was very proud of it. I told him, in the presence of others that if he did it again or harassed me in other ways, I would tell his Bishop first and his wife, the mother of his five children, second. Then I filed a complaint with the administration. He never stepped out of line again. (I had come loaded for bear by knowing the name of his bishop.)
At one point, his “touching” had definitely become sexual. Believe me, it is all tied together.
This kid needed to be suspended for a year. He needed to understand the seriousness of what he was doing when he had been told not to. He had no excuse. A year is not going to kill him. His action sounds very hostile to me, but then I can’t know his motives.
BTW, in our school, the teacher would have had the right to defend herself. She could sock him a good one. Do we really want to go down that lane?