# An Ode to the Pit, or Pit-hemian Rhapsody **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 20, 2001, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131 "2001-07-20T01:31:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/1 "2001-07-20T01:31:23Z")
Just some impressions of the Pit, that most benighted of fora, which has given me ranting room, without which, I would surely have climbed a tower with a rifle. Next time someone says “Why get rid of the pit?”, you c’n point 'em here! [sub]Will _this_ get a “Hello” from Cecil? I’ve dropped his name all over the song! Is name-dropping enough?[/sub] \*\* Pit-hemian Rhaposody\*\* Is this a Pit thread On the S-D-M-B? No one’s being flamed There’s no rant for Dopers to see! Open the thread There’s no bloodshed, or pain It’s just a pit thread, could be great or mundane Threads are easy come, easy go View count high, view count low Whatever is the view count, it doesn’t really matter to me To me. Cecil, just flamed a man Made a crack about his mom Now he weeps and sucks his thumb. Cecil, he was quite the putz And now I’ve gone and flamed his sorry ass Cecil, OooOOOooh Didn’t mean to make him cry If I am flamed myself this time tomorrow I’ll carry on, carry on, it doesn’t really matter Cecil, just wanna rant City council’s filled with jerks New TV set doesn’t work. Listen friends - I gotta bitch I’m ranting all the time, must take the heat Cecil, OooOOOooh Sometimes, with rage I cry “I sometimes wish that other folks weren’t jerks!” I percieve an insult from another Doper To the Pit! I’ll flame you! And the Dopers will cry “Viva! Anger, rants and flaming - very, entertaining to me!” TubaDiva, TubaDiva TubaDiva, TubaDiva TubaDiva, just like Shiva, uses Ouija…Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! He’s just a sock puppet, calling folks “Nazis” He’s just a Pit-Troll, we won’t defend him stauchly Please ban his sock-puppet ass just for me! He’s a troll, make him go- Ban his ass! Bodoni! No, you must make him go: Ban his ass Bodoni! Will you make him go? Ban his ass Bodoni! Will you make him go? Ban his ass - ban his ass Will you make him go? Ban his ass - ban his ass Will you make him go? Ban his ass: Ban his ass - Ban his ass Ban, ban, ban, ban, ban ban ban ban ban! Oh mama mia, TubaDiva, mama mia, ban his ass! Uncle Beer has a flame-thread that will burn his ears, for me! For me! So you wanna do pit threads and post on the fly So you think you can rant, bitch or flame, and not cry Oh, newbie - you can do this for me, y’see Just gotta post it - just gotta get it down in a thread A pit thread’s often jabber Anyone can see A pit thread’s often jabber A pit thread’s often jabber to me…(anyway the posts, anyway the posts). Anyway this post’s done… Fenris (Note: TubaDiva: anyone ever tell you how much _FUN_ your name is to rhyme with? Who else could I have rhymed with Ouija, Mama mia and Shiva? :D) ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/2 "2001-07-20T01:33:33Z")
That first line should read: Next time someone says “Why **don’t you** get rid of the pit?”, you c’n point 'em here! Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/3 "2001-07-20T01:35:07Z")
I can remember when people made fun of Queen. Now they’re mainstream. Question: who will be the 2001 pop music figure(s) of fun who will be warm fuzzy mainstream in 2021? ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/4 "2001-07-20T01:37:29Z")
I’m lost for words. Fenris, goddamit, that cracked me the fuck UP. Jesus. What’s you favourite beer mate, I’ll order you a case! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/5 "2001-07-20T01:51:10Z")
That was awesome! Oh, wait…this is the Pit… That was FUCKING awesome! You’ve got a great talent there, you SOB 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mblackwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@mblackwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mblackwell)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/6 "2001-07-20T01:53:55Z")
Great post. This is my favorite part: > [@](#): > > Oh mama mia, TubaDiva, mama mia, ban his ass! > Uncle Beer has a flame-thread that will burn his ears, for me! > For me! ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/7 "2001-07-20T01:59:01Z")
God damnit, Fenris. You know, I try not to like your songs because I am jealous of your talent sometimes. Seriously. But your song here is good. Very good. So good I just have say: Bravo. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/8 "2001-07-20T02:09:53Z")
Damn. That was awesome. I await “Another Troll Bites the Dust” with bated breath. ---
**Author:** ![GilaB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@GilaB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GilaB)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/9 "2001-07-20T03:56:56Z")
I am in awe of your song-twisting talent. _applauds loudly, yelling “Fenris!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/10 "2001-07-20T05:14:06Z")
Geez, now I’m all misty-eyed. That was bee-_yooo_-tiful. Anyone up for a chorus of “I’m in Love with my Mods”? ---
**Author:** ![Revedge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecae2f/32.png) [@Revedge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revedge)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/11 "2001-07-20T07:04:00Z")
We are not worthy! We are not worthy! You owe me for a new monitor. I just ruined this one when I spewed coke all over it! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/12 "2001-07-20T07:05:05Z")
Ffffabulous! I enjoyed it a lot! ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/13 "2001-07-20T07:24:49Z")
Oh god Fenris, that was great. I can’t thank you enough for that midnight laugh, I really needed it. Awesome buddy, fucking awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/14 "2001-07-20T09:36:14Z")
:: **spooje** is holding up his lit cigarette lighter:: ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/15 "2001-07-20T10:06:52Z")
This Quick-&-Dirty Parody courtesy of Derleth: He’s a troll and he ain’t discreet His post count’s way down low He thinks he’s a hacker, thinks he’s 'leet With scripts ready to go He ain’t ready hey he ain’t ready for this We’ll knock him right out of his seat Out of the doorway his ass’ll fly Another troll been beat, yeah! (Chorus): Another troll bites the dust Another troll bites the dust And another one gone and another one gone Another troll bites the dust Hey Admin’s gonna get you too Another troll bites the dust Without them we could get along We’ll be happy when they’re gone They flame us with everything they have But we kick them out on their own They ain’t happy, they ain’t satisfied They never can stand the heat Out of the doorway a troll ass flies Another troll been beat, yeah! Hey Oh take it - Bite the dust bite the dust Hey Another troll bites the dust Another troll bites the dust ow Another troll bites the dust he he Another troll bites the dust haaaa Ooh shoot out There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man And bring him to the ground You can beat him You can cheat him You can treat him bad and leave him When he’s down But I’m ready yes I’m ready for you I’m standing on my own two feet Out of the doorway the bullets rip Repeating to the sound of the beat There are plenty of ways that they can flame a man And try to bring him down But we beat 'em And we delete ‘em When they treat us bad and try to Bring us down Yes we’re ready yes we’re ready for them We’re kickin’ 'em with two feet! Out of the doorway a troll ass flies Yet another troll’s been beat! Another troll bites the dust Another troll bites the dust And another troll gone and another troll gone Another troll bites the dust yeah Hey Admin’s gonna get you too Another troll bites the dust Shoot out I hope somebody can come up with a better parody soon. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/16 "2001-07-20T10:11:09Z")
Disregard this stanza. It was not deleted. I write parodies by downloading the lyrics, and then writing my parody lyrics below them. Sorry.: The stanza to ignore: > [@](#): > > There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man > And bring him to the ground > You can beat him > You can cheat him > You can treat him bad and leave him > When he’s down > But I’m ready yes I’m ready for you > I’m standing on my own two feet > Out of the doorway the bullets rip > Repeating to the sound of the beat Preview is not my friend, it is my GOD! I strayed once too often, now a parody is ruined. Damn vengeful god. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/17 "2001-07-20T12:35:57Z")
**DDG** : I dunno. I can’t think of anyone at the moment **Coldie** : Thanks: you can buy me a Root Beer or two if there’s ever an international Dopefest! 🙂 **Jeannie** : Thank You! I fucking appreciate the compliments, gawddamnit! 😉 **mblackwell** : I rarely crack myself up, but for me, I was proudest of: Cecil, just wanna rant City council’s filled with jerks New TV set doesn’t work. Glad you enjoyed it! **Una** : I admire the heck out of your posts too, so the your “bravo” means a lot to me! Thanks _very_ much! 🙂 **Jester** : Thanks, and it looks like **Derleth’s** done the “Bites the Dust” thing. (And it looks great!) **GilaB** , **Dijion** : Thanks! **Revedge** Sorry, read the implied disclaimer: The party of the first part [sub]that’s Me![/sub] is not liable for any damage to monitors, keyboards or mucuous membranes which are damaged by spewing beverages. 😉 **red\_dragon & Lady Foxfyre** : Thanks I app… :: notices **spooge** ’s cigarette lighter. Thinks for a moment. Smashes guitar on stage! :: **Derleth** : Brilliant, buddy! I loved the opening verse: > [@](#): > > He’s a troll and he ain’t discreet > His post count’s way down low > He thinks he’s a hacker, thinks he’s 'leet Discreet='leet … Wonderful! Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/18 "2001-07-20T12:42:01Z")
::throws rose petals at Dereth and Fenris:: ::applauds wildly:: ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/19 "2001-07-20T12:49:06Z")
Speaking as a man who owns (LITERALLY) every US and UK Queen LP, 45 (with picture sleeves), picture and interview disc, promotional kits, tourbooks, solo LPs and singles, CDs with rarities and remixes as well as other goodies… I salute you! Get yourself a FLASH! T-Shirt to celebrate! ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Dead\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecb155/32.png) [@Living\_Dead\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Dead_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131/20 "2001-07-20T12:59:58Z")
Fenris - you are my GOD. Seriously. Should I bow to your feet, or somewhere higher up? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ode-to-the-pit-or-pit-hemian-rhapsody/73131.md?page=2)