# An old friend passed away **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 8, 2017, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-old-friend-passed-away/793102 "2017-08-08T16:16:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-old-friend-passed-away/793102/1 "2017-08-08T16:16:04Z")
Cancer. Thirty six years old. Newborn son, not even a year old. We came from different walks of life but we were forced together by circumstance. We shipped off to basic training together 15 years ago. For the next 4 years, through shear coincidence, we were always assigned together. He was a groomsman in my wedding. We spent a lot of time together back then. He moved closer to home after his enlistment was up, I joined him in the same city about 4 years later after my 2nd term. We hung out every once in a while, but by that point I had 2.7 kids and I couldn’t keep up with the bachelor lifestyle. I decided I’d make it up to him on his 30th birthday, which led to literally the worst hangover of my entire life. He got married, I was at his wedding but not a part of it. His wife was great but as couples we didn’t click, so we stopped taking each other up on invitations. Eventually the invitations stopped. I went to visit him in the hospital when he first got sick. I brought him an RC helicopter since I figured he’d be laid up for a while. That feels really stupid now, like “Sorry I’ve been a bad friend, here’s a toy.” Nobody knew what was wrong with him at the time. I only saw him once after that, I assumed he was getting better. He didn’t like to talk about it; I found out it was cancer just a few months ago, at the same time I found out it was terminal. At that point I didn’t have the balls to even text him. Our friendship had withered, and I didn’t know how to insert myself back into his life without feeling like I was intruding. I got my updates through Facebook. Three weeks ago his wife was hopeful about a drug trial opportunity. Two weeks ago, she said they were focused on hospice care and quality of life. Yesterday I saw the condolences roll in. Matt, you were one of the good ones. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-old-friend-passed-away/793102/2 "2017-08-08T16:32:50Z")
My condolences. ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-old-friend-passed-away/793102/3 "2017-08-08T17:15:10Z")
Sorry for your loss. 36 is way too young. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-old-friend-passed-away/793102/4 "2017-08-08T17:25:24Z")
Sorry about your friend. But I have to ask: 2.7 kids? ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-old-friend-passed-away/793102/5 "2017-08-09T00:08:13Z")
I’m so sorry. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-old-friend-passed-away/793102/6 "2017-08-09T00:13:58Z")
Sorry for your loss. I’m still grieving over my close friend who I lost at 32. The pain may feel overwhelming at times, reach out to everyone. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-old-friend-passed-away/793102/7 "2017-08-09T00:42:05Z")
I’m sorry for your loss…