# An ongoing list of The Straight Dope's most epic assholes. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 13, 2015, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753 "2015-01-13T21:58:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/61 "2015-01-14T14:56:35Z")
It looks like assholes all the way down, to me! ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/62 "2015-01-14T15:03:45Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I believe brazil84 has been compiling his own personal list for years… Hence my nomination of him upthread. Christ, what a grade-A moron. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/63 "2015-01-14T15:04:25Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > It looks like assholes all the way down, to me! You could say we’re up to our **elbows** in assholes. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/64 "2015-01-14T15:07:30Z")
All I’m seeing here is asshole and elbows! That’s supposed to be a good thing, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/65 "2015-01-14T15:09:04Z")
Do Epic Assholes get a +1 bonus on their saving throws? ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/66 "2015-01-14T15:17:43Z")
“Saving throws?” You’re on the list, nerdhole! (Uh-oh. Damn.) ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/67 "2015-01-14T15:35:00Z")
Who is least likely to end up on this list? **SamClem**? **Ellen Cherry**? **FairyChatMom**? ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/68 "2015-01-14T15:38:10Z")
Well, I can see that I haven’t been listed by name yet. So I guess I’m better than all you assholes. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/69 "2015-01-14T15:47:59Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > Who is least likely to end up on this list? **SamClem**? **Ellen Cherry**? **FairyChatMom**? **Qadgop the Mercotan**. No question about it. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/70 "2015-01-14T15:59:20Z")
Crafter\_Man Originally Posted by Crafter\_Man “An extremely tragic event, obviously. But I would rather keep our gun laws exactly the way they are – and put up with the occasional massacre – than enact ultra-strict gun control measures that would guarantee something like this would never occur.” Originally Posted by Crafter\_Man “Giving a choice between a) keeping my guns and living with the current crime rate, and b) giving up my guns and a guarantee there will never be another murder in this country using a firearm, I would choose the former.” From this thread > **[27 dead, 18 children](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=675561)** > > http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/state-police-respond-to-report-of-school-shooting-in-newtown-conn-lockdown-in-place/2012/12/14/df59a9aa-4602-11e2-8c8f-fbebf7ccab4e\_story.html I pit the scumbag, asshole, piece of shit, lousy excuse for a... ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/71 "2015-01-14T16:07:55Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Disabled, female, gay, black people will set a faster pace. Who also declaw their cats. ---
**Author:** ![susanlinda823](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@susanlinda823](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susanlinda823)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/72 "2015-01-14T16:11:38Z")
> [@Randolph](#): > > You, for reading this. > > Yes, you. > > Stand still laddie! Damn! Fouled again. “Im an assshollee” \*Quote from Dennis Leary 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/73 "2015-01-14T16:15:31Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Who also declaw their cats. You need to throw circumcision in there somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Kiber](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kiber/32/317_2.png) [@Kiber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiber)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/74 "2015-01-14T16:21:28Z")
Hi. My name is Kiber and I’m an asshole. Whew - felt good to get that off my chest. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/75 "2015-01-14T16:25:49Z")
> [@Kiber](#): > > Hi. My name is Kiber and I’m an asshole. > > Whew - felt good to get that off my chest. It’s on your _chest_? Boy, are you built weird! ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/76 "2015-01-14T16:33:14Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > You need to throw circumcision in there somewhere. And something about pit bulls. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/77 "2015-01-14T16:59:06Z")
No love for our resident Paper Towel Tube expert? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/78 "2015-01-14T17:03:35Z")
Not the kind he’s into. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/79 "2015-01-14T17:06:37Z")
> [@andros](#): > > And something about pit bulls. And something about how disgusting fat people are. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2015, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753/80 "2015-01-14T17:07:04Z")
I’ve suggested that **adaher** addahimself to the list. He and the other resident simpletons are still frothing at the mouth because the Secret Muslim didn’t go to Paris. None of those ass clowns has the faintest idea what goes into a presidential visit (yes, I’ve been involved with one), but are all experts on the matter. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-ongoing-list-of-the-straight-dopes-most-epic-assholes/709753.md?page=5)