# An OP writing challenge!  Write an OP that would guarantee a trainwreck.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252>\
**Category:** The Game Room\
**Created:** [December 15, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252 "2010-12-15T16:47:37Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/21 "2010-12-15T22:26:28Z")

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On the Actuarial Outpost:

“Why do they make these exams easier every year? Kids today are such pussies compared to my generation. They’re so easy now, they might as well give away Fellowship credentials in cereal boxes.”

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**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/22 "2010-12-16T01:35:47Z")

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Anyone who can’t get a job these days is just lazy.

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**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/23 "2010-12-16T02:03:18Z")

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Sarah Palin will totally pwn Obama in the debates.

And he’s not an American.

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**Author:** ![Palooka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/palooka/32/2902_2.png) [@Palooka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palooka)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/24 "2010-12-16T02:03:28Z")

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When and how did unicorns become extinct?

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**Author:** ![not\_alice](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_alice/32/7283_2.png) [@not\_alice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_alice)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/25 "2010-12-16T02:05:58Z")

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I had one for this board, just the other day I ran it up the moderator flag post just in case, I was told in no uncertain terms to let it go.

Not sure if it is OK for the pit or not.

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**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/26 "2010-12-16T02:24:16Z")

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On a screenwriters/independent filmmakers board:

I’ve written a script for a new Tyler Perry movie about the Holocaust that features a cameo for M’dea and an uplifting message about Christianity. Does anybody know how I can get in touch with him?  
Parenting board:

Why is it that if parents get mad and spank their kids it’s okay, but if I get mad and spank the same kid they get all pissy?

Any board:

Why do so many fat people smell like ass?

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**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/27 "2010-12-16T02:44:32Z")

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Resolved: Any woman who won’t swallow doesn’t really love you.

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**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/28 "2010-12-16T03:41:17Z")

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> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#):
>
> Also make sure to point out that you’re not a racist and have many colored friends.

Finish it off by emphasizing how saying that you know that people aren’t going to like your opinion because it’s not popular but at least you’re honest and aren’t pretending that we live in a raceless society, dammit.

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**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/29 "2010-12-16T05:20:45Z")

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Why is it the state can count them as an adult if they’re tried for murder but if I bang a 16 year old they’re all like “oh, they’re kids”?!

or

Why is it that if you shoot and kill a home intruder then it’s self defense and you’re a hero, but if you keep them captive and do medical research that might help somebody they’re all up your ass calling you deranged?

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**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/30 "2010-12-16T05:36:16Z")

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SDMB:

Contrary to popular belief, Conservatives are people, too. We like sex, bacon, and kittens. We do not eat babies, pull the wings off flies, or practice human sacrifice. Some of us are your neighbors, loved ones, and family members. Liberals are not morally or intellectually superior to us in any way.

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**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/31 "2010-12-16T06:00:02Z")

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> [@Oakminster](#):
>
> We like sex, bacon, and kittens.

Sorry to digress, but that reminds of the old saying: Kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken.

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**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/32 "2010-12-16T18:40:37Z")

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If I want to draw the curtains and screw a chicken, that’s my own damn business, no one else’s.

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**Author:** ![KennerTheGreat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a8b319/32.png) [@KennerTheGreat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KennerTheGreat)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/33 "2010-12-16T18:59:02Z")

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> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#):
>
> If I want to draw the curtains and screw a chicken, that’s my own damn business, no one else’s.

It’s gotta be a free range chicken though. You have to have some standards.

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**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/34 "2010-12-21T08:02:26Z")

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Well, yeah; screwing a chicken in a cage is, if nothing else, a likely road to tetanus.

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**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/35 "2010-12-21T08:17:34Z")

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Is Obama a good tipper? I’m confused: One the one hand he’s black and comes from Kenya which does not have a tipping culture. On the other hand, he’s a leftist liberal socialist, who generally like to hand out free money to poor people.

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**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/36 "2010-12-21T08:36:09Z")

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“Nice guys”, the reason you can’t get girls is because you’re pathetic, manipulative wimps who know no other way of interacting with women than feebly attempting to guilt them into liking you.

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**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/37 "2010-12-21T13:25:54Z")

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SDMB Great Debates forum:

The weatherman can only predict the weather next week at about 50% accuracy. So how do all these global warming fanatics know what’s going to happen 50 years from now?!

Any audio/video related board:

Why do all my DVDs have black bars? I hate that! It doesn’t even fill up my TV screen. Rip-off!

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**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/38 "2010-12-21T18:12:07Z")

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How much should I tip my cat declawer?

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**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/39 "2010-12-21T18:21:49Z")

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“People who have their cats declawed are stupid. You can just do it yourself with some pliers. It’s those Jew veterinarians trying to con us out of our hard earned money so they can send it to Israel.”

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**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-op-writing-challenge-write-an-op-that-would-guarantee-a-trainwreck/564252/40 "2010-12-22T03:06:13Z")

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“Who was this WallyM7?”

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