# An open letter to CG's Boss:Mullets aren't a crime! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 9, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521 "2003-01-09T14:59:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/61 "2003-01-13T03:40:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skeezix \* > \*\* > I realize these posts are mostly made in good fun and all, but if the subject was, say, afroes, or dreadlocks, or hell, even mohawks, would it all be quite as “harmless” and innocent? > > \*\* HELL YES! You ever see “The Naked Gun.” Or “I’m Gonna Get You, Suckah.” Afros (without the “e” Dan Quayle) are certainly open territory. It is to black people to some degree what a mullet is to white folk. An anachronism. Dreadlocks are just nasty. Especially on white people. Mohawks? Joe Strummer had one. So they are off limits…oh wait, Mr. T has one, so laugh away. LAUGH AWAY, I SAY. I PITY DA FOOL WHO DON’T LAUGH!! ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/62 "2003-01-13T14:47:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*Twisty’s [link](http://www.angelfire.com/sd/DavsHomePage/freund.jpg), corrected. \*\* [Try this one](http://www.angelfire.com/sd/DavsHomePage/sporting.htm), I believe the last pic on the page is what **Twisty** intended. ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/63 "2003-01-13T15:02:51Z")
Afros, you know, are back. Unlike the 'fros from the seventies, which were so precisely shaped that scientists could use their severe and symmetrical roundness to calbrilate their instruments, 'fros are now unkempt and bushy. It is popular among the unkempt, bushy youth to braid one half of their head down, and let the other half bush freely in the breeze. I can just hear all the aging and balding previously fly muthas from the '70s muttering about how today’s young people have no pride in their 'fros, back in the day, they’da been laughed outta the disco turning up looking like that, callow whippersnappers today… ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/64 "2003-01-13T17:37:45Z")
After viewing that Freund guy’s mullet, I’d have to say…Damn Kraut, giving our American mullets a bad name by having such a hideous one. Who does he think he is anyway?😃 IDBB ---
**Author:** ![zakiyah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7993a0/32.png) [@zakiyah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zakiyah)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/65 "2003-01-17T15:14:27Z")
> [@](#): > > For further clarification, and a site that treats the mullet the way it should be, I urge you all to investigate [www.mulletjunky.com](http://www.mulletjunky.com) for further information. Oh no…THAT’s what a mullet is? I have lost my innocence. I dated several mullet-men in my youth. If only I had known. The warning sign was RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!! :smack: Why was this not part of my education? So many disasters might have been averted. Thank goodness for the Straight Dope… ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/66 "2003-01-17T15:46:17Z")
There are certain things civilized people just shouldn’t do. They are based on courtesy to your fellow man. Little things, like don’t murder, don’t steal, don’t fart in a crowded elevator, etc. And don’t wear your hair in a mullet. Especially if you fart in crowded elevators… ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/67 "2003-01-17T15:50:35Z")
Scientists say your hair never lies, they’ve done lots of research, It may be just hype, but the latest findings cause me to tremble, They’ve categorized us into three basic types, By which of the Three Stooges we most closely resemble [Hairstyles and Attitudes - Timbuk 3](http://www.timbuk3music.com/GreetingsFrom.lyrics.html#3) Mullet over. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/68 "2003-01-17T15:57:46Z")
An acceptable [mullet](http://www.florabama.com/mullet_toss_faq.htm) sighted at the Florabama. ---
**Author:** ![wikkidpis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f05b48/32.png) [@wikkidpis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wikkidpis)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/69 "2003-01-17T17:00:16Z")
the man who started it all? ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/70 "2003-01-17T19:28:30Z")
I might have an accidental mullet. But it’s not my fault. I had short hair, but I’ve decided to grow it long. However, the bangs and sides are still much shorter than the back. So, fellow dopers, how do I get out of this mess without cutting my hair long? Today, I wear a baseball cap… ---
**Author:** ![xplastikonox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a3d4f5/32.png) [@xplastikonox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xplastikonox)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/71 "2003-01-17T23:34:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wikkidpis \* > \*\*the man who started it all? \*\* I am compelled to post after looking at this. Now really, David Bowie had the best mullet in history. He is _NOT_ responsible for all the scary, ugly, hellspawn mullet. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/72 "2003-01-19T18:35:08Z")
Three cheers for David who created the mullet! Hop hop hooray! Hop hop hooray! Hop hop hooray! ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/73 "2003-01-19T18:51:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xplastikonox \* > \*\*I am compelled to post after looking at this. > > Now really, David Bowie had the best mullet in history. He is _NOT_ responsible for all the scary, ugly, hellspawn mullet. \*\* I don’t really agree, but I do think it is unfair to condemn people for having mullets in the 1970s, or even the 1980s. They didn’t know any better then, just as people of other eras didn’t know that washing your hands could prevent disease or that it is wrong to burn little old ladies at the stake just because they looked at you funny. We are lucky to live in more civilized times, and shouldn’t scoff at primitive people of the past just because they didn’t possess the same level of knowledge we enjoy in the early 21st century. ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/74 "2003-01-19T20:07:44Z")
I want to know… What is it about Germans and Mullets? Seriously, just about ALL of my relatives have sported this godawful folliclular blasphemy at some point. [sub]I would also like to nominate **follicular** as the new cool word of the day, common, it ROCKS![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/75 "2003-01-19T21:46:33Z")
LOL:D “Follicular Blasphemy”. I like it. And the Lord said,“Thou shalt wear thy hair in the shape of a cock’s comb, or in the shape of a bowl put on thy head or spiked in waves like the spawn of satan,Bart Simpson.But if thou shalt wear thy hair in the shape of a mullet, thou shalt be condemned to Hair Hell for all time.So sayeth the Lord,the God of Hairs.”😃 IDBB ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/76 "2003-01-19T22:49:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Road Rash \* > \*\*Mohawks? Joe Strummer had one. So they are off limits…oh wait, Mr. T has one, so laugh away. LAUGH AWAY, I SAY. I PITY DA FOOL WHO DON’T LAUGH!! \*\* Robert DeNiro wore a mohawk in [Taxi Driver](http://www.insa-lyon.fr/Associations/VIC/films/taxi.jpg); then he killed everyone. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/77 "2003-01-20T02:59:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Global Citizen \* > Strangely, all 3 people that my company fired in the past 12 months had mullets. \*\* It’s actually not surprising. Unless you are a carnie, a Mullet looks really unprofessional. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/78 "2003-01-20T04:14:11Z")
So I went to see the master of a ship the other day. And just so you get the picture, we are talking bulk carrier, not little yacht. You know the type of thing, 280m long, tonnage like a phone number. Met at the top of the gangplank by a smartly dressed junior officer who showed me up into the accomodation to the master’s cabin. I step in and there’s this guy in a Metallica t-shirt sucking on a Marlboro with, yes, you guessed it, a mullet. This guy was _clearly_ some sort of greaser, or maybe a junior engineer or something. What he was doing in the master’s cabin, I didn’t know. I was about to ask this dude where the master was when my discretion grabbed me just in time. He sticks out out his hand and says “Hi, I’m Captain So and So”. Phew, close one. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521/79 "2003-01-20T04:16:37Z")
Speaking of which, was anyone else horrified by Brad Pitt’s mullet at the Golden Globes tonight? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-cgs-boss-mullets-arent-a-crime/147521.md?page=3)