# An Open Letter To Mackenzie Bezos **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 16, 2019, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848 "2019-01-16T03:36:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/21 "2019-01-16T19:42:31Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Some stories have it that Jeff was parking his car in somebody else’s garage. You know, the usual. But I haven’t seen any accusations that he was doing so behind her back. If there’s anything scandalous, thus far they both seem happy to cover it up with their fluffy feel-good announcement. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/22 "2019-01-16T21:52:21Z")
Dear Mackenzie I think you’ve done a great job of staying out of the judgemental spotlight of fame. Keep up the great work. I’m sure you will do good things with your wealth, in your own quiet and unassuming way. Please don’t feel pressured to ‘put yourself out there’, to please the gawkers. Condolences to the whole family during this painful period. Good Luck! ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/23 "2019-01-16T22:54:56Z")
I’m not sure that Mackenzie needs a lot of support. It turns out that when a couple has $140 billion between them, it’s possible to have an awesomely amicable divorce without too many worries about things like financial security or where one is going to live, or how one is going to support oneself. She and Jeff say they’re going to remain good friends. I bet Jeff will even continue to let her have free books for her Kindle! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/24 "2019-01-16T23:09:20Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > I misread the thread title as _“Dear McKenzie Bros”_…boy was I disappointed. This made me laugh out loud. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/25 "2019-01-16T23:30:11Z")
In the immortal words of Joey Tribbiani, “How you doin’?” That’s for either Mackenzie _or_ Jeff Bezos; I’m flexible. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2019, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/26 "2019-01-16T23:44:55Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > A [letter opener](https://www.stillfried.com/products/carl-aubock-letteropener-hand-7208) for Mackenzie Bezos. > > (it was the most expensive one I could quickly find) [Piker.](https://www.etsy.com/listing/216090385/antique-c1905-solid-silver-letter-opener) (And it’s marked down, too! Only $28,294.47; _was_ $33,287.62–you save $4,993.15! Free shipping! I bet you don’t even have to join Amazon Prime to get the free shipping, either.) ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2019, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/27 "2019-01-17T00:33:48Z")
Dear Mackenzie, I think this is the first I ever heard of you. I know almost nothing about you, but I gather you have more money than me. I hope this information is useful to you somehow. Thank you. begbert2 ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2019, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/28 "2019-01-17T01:49:39Z")
Dear Mackenzie, By all accounts, your ex-spouse Jeff is an outstanding corporate leader, innovator, media titan, and yet a genuinely nice guy. But I wonder if you could comment on the remarkable resemblance between his head and a 60-watt incandescent light bulb, and whether that has had any bearing on the state of your relationship. Thanks, Wolfpup, (Always pursuing the deeper questions.) ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2019, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/29 "2019-01-17T17:16:19Z")
Thoughts and prayers, Mackenzie. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2019, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/30 "2019-01-17T17:23:39Z")
> [@brujaja](#): > > now that I know your name, let’s see it in the news in ways that startle and dazzle us What? No. I have no interest in more news space being occupied by rich people wanting publicity. If you become famous through accomplishing something that people admire, that’s one thing. But I don’t want to know anything else about your personal life based on your intent merely to attract the spotlight. There’s nothing wrong with leading a successful, comfortable, dignified _ **private** _ life. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2019, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/31 "2019-01-17T17:37:11Z")
Dear Ms. Bezos - You must be lonely in your new situation. Have you considered the advantages of adopting a full-grown adult? College is already taken care of, and I am really good at remembering birthdays. And I promise not to embarrass you with scandalous episodes with women (or men). Call me! Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2019, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/32 "2019-01-17T18:19:56Z")
Dearest Mackenzie Bezos Greetings and warmest personal regards. I am Jophiel, Head Vice-President of the Nigerian Export Petroleum Bank of Commerce and as I understand you are a person of greatest integrity and Christian regard I have a business proposition I feel you will handle equitably and fairly. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/33 "2019-04-04T18:24:28Z")
Poor MacKenzie has been cheated: Jeff keeps 75% of Amazon stock as well as voting rights on the 25% of the stock she gets. Jeff gets all her interests in The Washington Post and the Blue Origin aerospace company. She is left with a measly $35.6 billion in Amazon stock. > **[Jeff Bezos to keep 75% of couple's Amazon stock after finalizing divorce](https://www.cnbc.com/2019/04/04/mackenzie-bezos-to-keep-25-percent-of-couples-amazon-stock-after-finalizing-divorce.html)** > > MacKenzie Bezos announces on Twitter that she and Jeff Bezos have completed the process of dissolving their marriage. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/34 "2019-04-04T21:10:52Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > I misread the thread title as _“Dear McKenzie Bros”_…boy was I disappointed. Coo-roo-coo-coo, coo-roo-coo-coo, hoser. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2019, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/35 "2019-04-05T04:35:11Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > … the remarkable resemblance between his head and a 60-watt incandescent light bulb… And haven’t I seen him on _Sesame Street_? ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2019, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/36 "2019-04-05T05:36:52Z")
Yes, he just needs a black cape. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2019, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848/37 "2019-05-28T20:09:02Z")
Dear Mackenzie: Thank you! You rock! > **[MacKenzie Bezos, worth nearly $37 billion, will give half her fortune to...](https://www.cnn.com/2019/05/28/business/mackenzie-bezos-giving-pledge/index.html)** > > MacKenzie Bezos has promised to give at least half of her fortune to charity, just months after finalizing her divorce from the world's richest man. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mackenzie-bezos/827848.md?page=1)