# An open letter to Mercedes drivers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 13, 2002, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045 "2002-03-13T13:07:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/1 "2002-03-13T13:07:09Z")
Dear Mercedes drivers, You see that little stick by the steering wheel? That’s an _indicator_. Using it gives other drivers an _indication_ of where you’re going to go next. It stops us from having to brake really heavily. Do you see what I’m driving at? Good! Now, you see those dotted lines along the road? They’re show you where the _lanes_ are. Lanes are designed to keep the cars driving parallel - it stops them from bumping into each other. Clever, aren’t they! You know when I stop and allow an old lady to cross the road? I’m stopping for the old lady. Sometimes, I might stop to let you pull out, and you’re quite welcome to pull out when I do so. But when I stop for the old lady, I’m stopping for her, not for you. You might run her over! Then your insurance would be screwed. And that would be bad. I hope that gets things clear in your mind. I know these are trivial issues, and they don’t really affect you, because you’re all important and so on, but if you have a few spare minutes in between meetings, maybe you can give them some thoughts. Lots of love, Jjimm P.S. Nice car. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/2 "2002-03-13T13:14:11Z")
I’d always just assumed that when you buy a Merc you also get a certificate that proves you do actually own the road too… ---
**Author:** ![Keymain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Keymain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keymain)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/3 "2002-03-13T13:43:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*I’d always just assumed that when you buy a Merc you also get a certificate that proves you do actually own the road too… \*\* No, no, no. You get one of those when you buy a Porsche. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/4 "2002-03-13T14:33:29Z")
No, you get one when you purchase any vehicle weighing over two tons and costing under two thousand dollars. You do, however, get style bonuses for 1970s Ford Broncos, or military surplus one and a half ton trucks. It’s really quite amazing what people will do when you’re driving a _real_ behemoth. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/5 "2002-03-13T14:45:44Z")
No, you get one of those when you purchase a car of any goddamn motherfucking description. [matt goes out to do battle with the brain-dead, excessive-momentum idiots on St-Jacques street and attempt to get to the metro intact] ---
**Author:** ![Lao\_Tsu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lao\_Tsu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lao_Tsu)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/6 "2002-03-13T16:43:17Z")
I have noticed that most people that drive Mercedes are assholes and drive like crap. People that drive Audis generally have the same problem. I can’t decide if these cars are more attrative to assholes. It can’t be the price, because Porsche drivers are generally very couteous. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/7 "2002-03-13T17:26:43Z")
What I find is that the drivers of Mercedes are usually snotty old women with big big sunglasses and fur coats or ol’ stogie smokin’ fat men with sweat problems, rather than the sleek, dark haired fast living German men that I like to picture behind the wheel. I can’t tell you how that always disappoints me. jar ---
**Author:** ![funkynige](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@funkynige](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funkynige)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/8 "2002-03-13T17:26:55Z")
Hasn’t anyone told you? All Mercedes comne with psychic indicators - they know what way they’re turning so everyone else should too. ---
**Author:** ![Delta-9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Delta-9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delta-9)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/9 "2002-03-13T17:34:41Z")
Dahling, everyone knows turn signals are for the working class. Silly goose. ---
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Willy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sweet\_Willy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Willy)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/10 "2002-03-13T18:31:21Z")
umm…does my '71 220 diesel that I paid $800 for count? ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/11 "2002-03-13T19:06:38Z")
So if we just eliminate the Mercs, we’ll cut down drastically on lack of turn signal use, erratic lane changes, and road idiocy in general? Sounds reasonable. I know this is all in good fun, but I couldn’t resist thinking that if the OP was about a crappier line of vehicle, someone would come in here screaming about how they themselves have a (insert crappy model here), they are not poor drivers, and that the OP is a car-ist. ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/12 "2002-03-13T21:29:13Z")
Well, at the risk of coming off as a car-ist, I have to say that I agree with the OP. I too have noticed that many of the guys who are driving expensive _luxury_ type vehicles are often inconsiderate toward other motorists. People who drive Mercedes, Lexus, BMW, Porsche, etc. don’t let me MERGE, give me the FINGER, and don’t give pedestrians the right-of-way. Now, here’s the question. Why are people who drive expensive cars rude and inconsiderate? The conventional _wisdom_ is that they let their money get to their heads and become jerks. WRONG. It’s because people who are rude and inconsiderate jerks are REWARDED in our capitalist society, they get the high-paying jobs. They were jerks long before they ever got their cars. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/13 "2002-03-13T21:41:49Z")
> [@](#): > > What I find is that the drivers of Mercedes are usually snotty old women with big big sunglasses and fur coats You just described my grandmother to a T. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/14 "2002-03-13T21:59:12Z")
In 1998 I just came home one day with a 420 SEL, which my wife promptly labelled the “Pretentia-mobile.” She was a little miffed that I had traded in a perfectly serviceable vehicle and spent a considerable portion of our net worth on a silver Nazi, but I felt that it was important to me. What that really meant didn’t become apparent to me for about 6 months. I then figured out that my motivations in getting the car were the same as if I had just gotten big sign that said “Mr. Big Stuff,” and carried it around with me. The car was unreliable and not particularly fun to drive. There was something about it that made you feel like you about oppressing the proletariat or something. After a year I traded it in for a used Sebring Convertible that was fun, practical, reliable, and unpretentious. Unfortunately, now I want a Boxster. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/15 "2002-03-13T22:38:39Z")
Ummm… SL owner checking in. If anything I’ve noticed most Merc owners are pretty sedate on the road. Many cars have mechanical characteristics that encourage a certain type of driving. It’s the BMWs that I see torquing over on two wheels for a lane change, mainly because they handle so beautifully. Volvo owners putt, just like I did in my old GL. Porsche and Corvette owners are amazingly reserved considering the potential, as just doing the speed limit in them is enough of a thrill. I had a '69 Vette and I was one of the slowest guys on the road…usually. Pick-up owners want to buttfuck your bumper because the size and security a 3 1/2 ton behemoth affords makes you more brazen than the Yugo driver next to you. Yeah, just when it seems drivers can be categorized by car type and once I’m convinced of the stereotype, someone will come along and blow it for me. Fact is, if someone’s an asshole in a Mercedes, he’d be just as big an asshole in most any other performant vehicle. I’m sorry someone was rude to you. I’m trying hard to mend that image. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/16 "2002-03-13T23:05:49Z")
Actually, I’ve felt the same thing about Cadillac drivers due to 2 incidents early in my driving career. Let me tell you, folks, there’s nothing like driving down the Pennsylvania Turnpike in a Geo convertible, with the top down, a Jersey barrier on the left, 2 trucks on the right, a truck ahead of you, and an _idiot_ in a Cadillac behind you who wants to go faster! CJ ---
**Author:** ![shelbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@shelbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shelbo)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2002, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/17 "2002-03-13T23:36:26Z")
I’m sorry, coming so quickly in the shadow of [Esprix’s Masterpiece](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=103612) of a traffic rant, I can’t give this more than a 4.5. Good effort, but falls short on technical merit. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Keymain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Keymain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keymain)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2002, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/18 "2002-03-14T00:28:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\* Porsche and Corvette owners are amazingly reserved considering the potential, as just doing the speed limit in them is enough of a thrill. I had a '69 Vette and I was one of the slowest guys on the road…usually. > \*\* I drive a Porsche Boxster and I have to agree with this. Plus, it’s probably not the best idea to drive like you own the road in such a small car. I don’t want to test the strength of the rollbar or Porsche’s assertion that the windshield frame can support the whole weight of the car. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Scylla_\*\*After a year I traded it in for a used Sebring Convertible that was fun, practical, reliable, and unpretentious. > > Unfortunately, now I want a Boxster.\*\* I will attest that the Boxster is a hell of a lot of fun to drive. I did worry about looking pretentious, but the constant enjoyment of driving has led me to not give a flying fuck what people think. Actually I was more worried about looking like a spoiled kid (I’m 23) whose parents bought me the car, though it’s not true. ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2002, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/19 "2002-03-14T04:49:44Z")
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a porcupine? With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2002, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045/20 "2002-03-14T05:21:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by E-Sabbath \* > \*\*It’s really quite amazing what people will do when you’re driving a _real_ behemoth. \*\* I’ve got a rusty dented full-size '84 Jeep J-10 pickup with a set of marine air horns mounted on the hood. If people fail to notice my behemoth-ness, it’s quite amazing how quickly a toot of those horns rectify the situation. FWIW, I’ve never noticed Mercedes drivers being particularly obnoxious. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-mercedes-drivers/98045.md?page=2)