# An open letter to the abortion who objects to the Darwins on my car **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 10, 2002, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191 "2002-05-10T00:13:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/61 "2002-05-10T17:22:18Z")
But you cannot disprove the possibility of divine intervention on behalf of the Jesus fish. Absent such proof on your behalf, I will continue to believe. (Sorry if I sound snotty, but I’m probably influenced by the fact that on Sunday my UU church is going to vote to call a minister who has made such mindnumbing statements as “I don’t really distinguish between knowledge and belief.”) Had a buddy who was selling his house, and someone kept taking the FOR SALE sign. His agent just said, let them take them - I’ve got tons of them. But my buddy was pissed. So every day I was entertained by his increasing efforts which culminated with the sign anchored to the ground with welded chain and smeared with vaseline. Probably not the approach you would want to take with your truck, tho. ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/62 "2002-05-10T17:27:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*\*\*Lightnin’\*\*, maybe razor-edged Darwin fish would solve your problems. They might still get ripped off, but only once. > > (And for the humour-impaired, that is a JOKE.) \*\* Screw that! I love that idea! It’d almost be worth the court costs! ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/63 "2002-05-10T17:41:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dinsdale \* > \*\* > Had a buddy who was selling his house, and someone kept taking the FOR SALE sign. \*\* Shit son…your town is **obviously** in the commie-belt! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/64 "2002-05-10T19:37:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dwc1970 \*If he does, take one of your replacement signs and put some sticky or otherwise foul substance on the post. Use something that he won’t readily see or place the gooey stuff on the opposite side of the sign from which he is likely to approach. Hehehe;) Of course, **that** ’d dry too fast to be practical… ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/65 "2002-05-10T19:44:25Z")
Why not just coat the outside of the fish with Super Glue? You then just call the cops and ask them to come pick up the guy stuck to your car. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/66 "2002-05-10T21:07:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beagledave \* > Ever here of [church vandalism](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=church+vandalism)? I guess we can assume that all acts of church vandalism are committed by intolerant atheists? 😉 Nah, I assume it’s the theological equivalent of gang warfare. 🙂 “Damn Baptists! Get out of here! This is a _Protestant_ town!” (No offense intended to Baptists or Protestants, natch) ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/67 "2002-05-10T21:14:31Z")
**mswas:** \*Having seperate laws for hate crimes is fucking ridiculous. Murdering someone because they are a jew is no different from murdering them because you wanted their shoes. \* Well, the courts have generally said that there **is** a difference, because the hate crime has the additional motive of terrorizing all the other members of the same racial/ethnic/religious group. The hate criminal isn’t just murdering or beating up some random person, s/he’s doing it partly to intimidate other people on a discriminatory basis. That, in the eyes of the law, bumps up the heinousness factor, and you get to charge more for extra heinousness. [Or, in preview, what **EchoKitty** said.] ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/68 "2002-05-11T00:01:01Z")
Heck, buy one of every fish available and put 'em all on your car. Use the combination of ones still on the car at the end of the day to conclude the ideology of the person who’s vandalizing you. “Lessee… They like angels and Jesus, hate the devil and Darwin, and half the Buddha’s been taken. But Chips and the UFO are still there. I’m stumped.” ---
**Author:** ![grendel72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/91b2a8/32.png) [@grendel72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grendel72)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/69 "2002-05-11T00:27:45Z")
My biggest reason to approve of hate crime laws is purely practical- recidivism. Someone who commits a hate crime is more likely to continue to be a threat than someone who commits a crime with a motive. ---
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/70 "2002-05-11T01:45:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cartooniverse \* > \*\*Videotape. You want this assmunch, call around to security firms, get one to rent you a 24 hour VHS recording deck. Set up the camcorder, replace the Fish, leave the car where the camcorder is zoomed in on the back of the car, AND the street. > > Catch the perp on tape. DUPE the tape immediately, so when the cops take it, you will still have a copy of it. Call the cops. > > End of deal 🙂 > > Cartooniverse \*\* I wonder if the producers of RealTV would go for footage like that? It’d be a neat way to get some extra money if they did. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/71 "2002-05-11T02:44:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Princess Serendipity \* > \*\*[http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/emblems.html](http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/emblems.html) > > there ya go lightenin’, now you can get any fish you want! included the elusive science fish you’re mourning. > happy fishing! > > -sel \*\* I gotta say that the comments beside the “No Bible Thumpers” emblem is priceless! > [@](#): > > An informative white on black emblem designed to communicate with the door-to-door preacher. Less effective than an unleashed doberman, but with significantly less legal liability. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Harvey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@Max\_Harvey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Harvey)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/72 "2002-05-11T03:23:03Z")
Darwin fish are, like, _so_ 1996. Get yerself a [Jesus Shark!](http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/media/emb-shark.GIF) ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/73 "2002-05-11T05:19:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kabbes \* > They’re _all_ styleless, stupid, cringy and aesthetically bankrupt. My sympathies. Here’s the rub though. I have an old blue Honda Civic. It’s a great car. It’s so great that about 23 gazillion other people have the same make and color. (On my street there are anywhere from 1-3 blue Honda Civics parked at any given time, for example. Roughly.) Enter the Darwin fish. Enter the sticker of the local public radio station. Oh, and the local zoo. Useful in large parking lots. I would also note that parking permit stickers are not the height of fashion either. -fb, agnostic, doesn’t believe that the Darwin fish is necessarily anti-Christian. ---
**Author:** ![St.Jackanapes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@St.Jackanapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Jackanapes)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/74 "2002-05-11T05:44:33Z")
(Sigh. Will someone please show me evidence that the vandal who did this is a “Christian”, and not some teenage twit doing the mindless things that teenage twits do? ) OK. Two good Christian girls tore my “Jesus Hates Me” bumper sticker off of my car. How do I know it was them? I was told that they blabbled it around and I confronted them. They tried the Darwin fish but didn’t have a tool. Too dumb to pick up a rock I assume. ---
**Author:** ![AquaPura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AquaPura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AquaPura)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/75 "2002-05-11T19:19:10Z")
Hey Lightnin’ this has worked for me… Next time you put one of your fishies on the car go buy a tube of White Marine Grease, take a little and carefully apply it to the edges of the fish, just so it is around the little walls of it, but not on the top so it isn’t as visible. Apply it using gloves. Next time they try to rip it off they likely won’t succeed because of the slippery grease, and even if they do, their hands will be full of it. It is a huge pain to try to get off your hands, worse if it gets in your clothes, and it stinks to high heavens. If somes gets on your car, just wipe it off a shop rag or some toweling. Hope you get those little buggers, ~Aqua ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/76 "2002-05-12T05:49:44Z")
Not that poor Cinders here is bumping this thread or anything… 🙂 …but although I’m quite happy to have a couple o’ quiet cold ones with **redboss** in St Kilda, if any of you other buggers want to speak up, I’ll be in Melbourne this Wednesday week. Wed, Thur, and Fri nights are ok if any of you want to meet up. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/77 "2002-05-12T05:52:01Z")
Well, obviously that last post was meant for another board. My brain must be malfunctioning. Mods, delete as required… I’ll just stumble off into the oblivion of embarrassment (also as required). ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/78 "2002-05-12T05:52:21Z")
Put a Darwin fish AND a Jesus fish on your car, and see what happens at the end of the day ---
**Author:** ![king\_of\_spain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7cd45c/32.png) [@king\_of\_spain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/king_of_spain)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/79 "2002-05-12T06:42:27Z")
[pedant mode=ON]Uh, **rjung** , you do know that Baptists _are_ Protestants, right?[/pedant] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7feea3/32.png) [@The\_Ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ryan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191/80 "2002-05-12T07:34:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yosemitebabe \* > Personally, I just want out of that war. I don’t want anyone vandalizing my car because they are pissed off at some religious or political statement I’ve made on my car. So I just stick Yosemite bumper stickers, travel stickers and goofy stickers on my car. Who needs the grief? \*\* Goddam Yellowstone hater. Ooh, look! Waterfalls! Yeah, those are **so** much more exciting than fucking **boiling water** gushing from the ground. I otta come over there and kick your ass. I mean _half_ dome? HALF dome? What a rip-off! The least they could do is give us a full dome. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-abortion-who-objects-to-the-darwins-on-my-car/108191.md?page=5)