# An open letter to the grocery store idjets **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 10, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826 "2003-01-10T21:55:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/41 "2003-01-12T12:03:42Z")
Well, little miss **Zette** , just pardon the hell out of me if I like Diet Coke better than Diet Pepsi. ---
**Author:** ![Ziactrice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@Ziactrice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ziactrice)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/42 "2003-01-12T17:34:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\*Well, little miss **Zette** , just pardon the hell out of me if I like Diet Coke better than Diet Pepsi. \*\* Isn’t it nice when the reading comprehension and maturity of our fellow boardmembers so quaintly illustrated? The comment was also so germane and applicable to the rant of the op, too. My gosh, I’m dazzled by such wit. :rolleyes: I know that “little miss” routine always intimidates the heck out of me every time some batty jackass down here in the South uses it. Oh, wait. Most southern men are way too polite to address a married lady that way in public, and stop with a ‘honey’ or three. :wally: I use them at my local grocery - I think the weight feedback routine is a daft attempt to limit shoplifting that doesn’t work. The store should use a close-mounted camera, and discontinue the annoying computer-voiced verbiage. It doesn’t work, since the clerk become inured to the sound, and it only bothers the customer. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/43 "2003-01-12T17:39:17Z")
Duh-wha-huh? Do I really need to point that out as a friendly jibe? Or did you just need to take your self-righteousness out for a walk with your smilies? ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/44 "2003-01-12T21:23:59Z")
**Ziactrice** **Zette** and **Jack Batty** are on friendly terms, although many are sure how _friendly_ they really are together, hubba, hubba. 😉 He’s just joshin with her. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/45 "2003-01-12T21:33:46Z")
That should have been “aren’t sure.” ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/46 "2003-01-12T22:33:14Z")
Wow. Is it just me, or is there an epidemic of “someone-needs-an-enema-itis” on the boards lately? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/47 "2003-01-13T00:16:35Z")
Hmm, I’ve never seen one of those yelling, psychotic self-checkout machines before. I want one. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Ziactrice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@Ziactrice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ziactrice)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/48 "2003-01-13T00:30:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\*Duh-wha-huh? > > Do I really need to point that out as a friendly jibe? > > Or did you just need to take your self-righteousness out for a walk with your smilies? \*\* ☹ I admit, that pushed some buttons my abusive ex-husband used to love to push, and I consider **Zette** a friend of mine, so I leaped when I should have looked first. :smack: However, I do dislike it when people take a jab, and then go ‘Hey, can’t you take a joke, that was just a friendly jibe!’ It surely didn’t read like friendly joshing, but type always ‘sounds’ nastier. Sorry. I guess your sense of humor just whooshed me, but that shit ain’t funny. I’ll be back from my walk in a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/49 "2003-01-13T00:56:43Z")
Well, I’ve never heard “little miss” anything uttered in anything other than a joking nature, so I can’t really see that side of it. I don’t expect you to know of my and Zette’s friendship either, but I really thought I was pretty darn clear in it just being a joke – especially with the over-the-top dead pan about Coke/Pepsi. Not everything in the Pit is nasty. I never intended on saying “If you can’t take a joke … etc.” I am entirely confident that Zette knows what I was saying. In fact, I _was_ entirely confident that _everybody_ got it. Guess not. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/50 "2003-01-13T01:01:31Z")
[sub]_(just in case) I wasn’t serious about shoplifting either)_[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![MC\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c77e96/32.png) [@MC\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MC_E)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/51 "2003-01-13T01:20:25Z")
**IDBB** - I have to admit, when I first saw this post, I thought your user name was “I Dig **BAG** Boys” 🙂 MC$E ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/52 "2003-01-13T02:14:58Z")
My experience with the U-Scan has paralleled my experience that has led to Jonathan’s First Rule of the Post Office–the complexity of the task you have to perform at the post office is inversely proportional to the complexity of the task the person in front of you has to perform. If you need a stamp, the person in front of you is trying to overnight a live goat to a remote mountain villiage somewhere in Asia. Similarly, if I’m buying a carton of Diet Pepsi (gotta feed the caffeine monkey!) and I have four one-dollar bills in my hand, the person in front of me has come down out of the mountains for his once-every-thirty-years supply run, dragging the load of farm-fresh potatoes he intends to trade for his purchases, and he’s never seen one of these new-fangled “computers”. It’s like clockwork. Dr. J ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/53 "2003-01-13T02:37:06Z")
And then, of course, there is the Corollary to your Rule: the length of time the person in front of you takes to complete any task is inversely proportional to the square of how much of a hurry you’re in. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/54 "2003-01-13T17:46:48Z")
LOL\* Oh yes, MC$E, I dig those bag boys.😃 Why is it that bag boys always seem to fall into one of two categories: Young and pimply and drooly, like puppies who want to follow you home OR (perhaps this is just my local groceries) so old and decrepit you feel like you have to take your own groceries out because you don’t want to force such an old person out into the inclement weather pushing a heavy cart? IDBB ---
**Author:** ![Magickly\_Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magickly\_Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magickly_Delicious)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/55 "2003-01-13T17:58:21Z")
Ah, grocery store memories. I spent a Christmas break working those damn self-serve checkouts. I was employed there as the cashier who had to watch three of them and as soon as one started blinking or beeping or one of the customers started to look confused, I had to run right over there _right now_. I had to explain to little old ladies a million times over that after scanning the item, it had to be placed on the conveyor belt. They’d forget to, and then the computer would yell at them and the belt would run backwards, causing her to lose track of what she had scanned. Aaargh! My job was actually to encourage people to use the darn things since they were so new. Guess what that meant? I got to work _three_ machines basically the same as any cashier, because always the people I had “_encouraged_” would stare at the machine with distrust, gaze at me with disgust, purse their lips, then hiss “YOU do it.” ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/56 "2003-01-13T19:16:11Z")
Why do those damn machines run so SLOW. After each item there is a 5 second delay before I can scan the next item. STUPID GROCERY STORES! Unlike most of your customer base and employees I’m physically able to move faster than a fornicating baboon! (Trust me, fucking monkeys move slowly) I could get out of the grocery store SO much faster if there wasn’t that delay. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/57 "2003-01-14T03:22:26Z")
I actually liked running the self-scans instead of always being stuck on a regular register. Although the people would piss me off. They’d use them as price scanners and walk away, or they’d decide they didn’t like it and not tell me and just walk off and leave, or they’d let their kids play with them. It’s like running four registers at once. I personally love them, because after years of working in retail, I’m so much faster than anyone who would wait on me. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/58 "2003-01-14T03:52:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*I’ve never even heard of these things before. How do they make sure you’ve actually scanned the items you’re piling up in your grocery bags? \*\* Like others said, they measure the weight of the item that you scanned to make sure that it is roughly the weight that you put in the bag. There is generally one central cashier to watch over 4 - 6 of these machines at a time. This is for assistance with special needs and to also key in codes for produce that you put on the scale or to validate coupons. The machines have sophisticated money acceptors so that you never have to speak to live person if you just have dry goods purchases and half a brain. I love these things. They are like the mother of all express lanes. I can ring up 15 items and be out of the store in 30 seconds flat. You never risk getting behind a crack whore trying to buy vodka and cigarettes with food stamps either. Here are a few tips: 1. If you regularly call your four your old neighbor to start the movie in your VCR so that you can watch it, you probably need to use the regular lines. 2. If you refuse to get an ATM card because you just don’t trust your technology and would rather speak to an 18 year high school dropout face to face, then you should probably use a live cashier. 3. If you argue with your buddies that the '57 Chevy was the best damed car ever built because you could fix just about any problem with just a hammer and a flathead screwdriver (not one of those phillips jobs) then… Well you get my drift. 4. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826/59 "2003-01-14T20:37:11Z")
What’s the other three for, **Shagnasty** 😕 IDBB [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-grocery-store-idjets/147826.md?page=2)