# An open letter to the public about my noisy kids **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 22, 2013, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940 "2013-10-22T16:31:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/41 "2013-10-22T19:54:27Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > Well that isn’t going to happen, and you wouldn’t police your neighborhood’s pick up basketball game with a decibel meter, either. When she’s squealing louder than a lawnmower, leaf blower, weed-eater or chainsaw, I’ll put a stop to it. > [@](#): > > After several more calls to pediatricians who had been in practice for 20 years or more, or those already retired, I was convinced that pediatricians as a group are experiencing tinnitus and high frequency hearing loss. Could it be caused by what I was thinking? It was time, I decided, to find out for sure about the decibel levels of crying infants and children at close range. I could hardly wait to get to my office the next day with my decibel meter. > > My first patient of the day was a seven month old boy, who, according to the mother, had an earache. First holding him, with his mother’s help, in the usual position on his back for examining his middle ears, I held the decibel meter near him while he was crying. It registered 125! During the course of the day I measured decibel levels, at close range, of 12 infants undergoing various procedures and receiving injections. All measured over 125, some 130. Several infants crying, apparently from hunger, recorded decibel levels over 110. Later in the day 125 decibels was recorded during a newborn circumcision at the hospital. It was incredible! > > These babies were producing sounds high enough to cause permanent hearing loss and tinnitus! According to data published by the U.S. Department of Labor, exposure to 120 decibels for 15 minutes per day leads to permanent cochlear damage. Almost all pediatricians are exposed to such levels several hours daily. My search was over, I thought, this must be the answer. If I was right most pediatricians would develop tinnitus and high frequency hearing loss if they practiced long enough or saw enough children. But if pediatricians are at high risk, how about family doctors, nurses, day care workers, teachers, and even parents? [VegSource](http://www.vegsource.com/attwood/babes.htm) Talk with your baby doctor. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/42 "2013-10-22T20:21:12Z")
And just for comparison purposes; .22 Long Rifle (subsonic); 130 dB .22LR high velocity; 145 dB .38 Special; 156 dB 12-gauge; 150 dB .357 Magnum; 168 dB ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/43 "2013-10-22T20:22:04Z")
The only thing this world lacks is tolerance. The only thing it has too much of is people. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/44 "2013-10-22T20:38:27Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > She’s not screaming, she’s shrieking? Sorry, you and she need to learn to control it. And as for picking up balls and throwing them in the store? That’s what the seat of the cart is there to prevent. The kid may be happy, but still be aggravating the hell out of the folks around you. If I took an undisciplined, noisy dog into the store, where it barked, jumped on people, urinated on the shelves and grabbed groceries, I’d be kicked out in short order. Your child is no different. Control it or leave it at home. > > StG Calm the fuck down. Have you ever tried to teach a toddler how to do anything? They’re a long way from being little adults you can reason with, only in tiny bodies. A lot of parenting is a combination of being proactive and trying to avoid situations, and in how you react to situations you didn’t expect. But if a toddler throws a screaming fit in a restaurant and the parents take the kid outside and you’re bothered because the kid screamed at all, you can stuff that attitude where the sun doesn’t shine as far as I’m concerned. It’s not reasonable to expect toddlers to know how to act in situations they haven’t experienced, and for the most part, every experience is new and novel, and they’re building that experience. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/45 "2013-10-22T20:48:05Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > If she does approach you and speaks a line of gibberish, don’t get nervous and attempt to interpret. I don’t know what the heck she is jabbering about, either. I just make something up and go along with it. You can do the same. “Is that so? Well, just yesterday I saw a puppy playing. Do you have a dog?” **She won’t understand you, either** , but she’ll be delighted at being included in the conversation and you’ll be doing a service by helping socialize her. (My Bold) In fact, she probably does understand a lot of what is said to her. Before a child can say a single word, they understand hundreds. When she is babbling and it sounds like speech, she is practicing the sounds of language. She will make the sounds present in all languages, eventually, opting for just those she hears around her. Talking to a pre-language child in a normal way, (not baby talk) will help her speech to be clearer, once she has enough of the tools she’ll need. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/46 "2013-10-22T21:00:59Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > Kids make a lot of noise, but there is a difference between a tantrum, an injury and joy. > > My child just started walking and is squealing from the pure joy of her new found freedom and accomplishments. She’s not complaining, shes reveling and it’s some of nature’s best music, on par with puppies and kittens playing. . Squealing? Are we at Disneyland, the beach, the play pit at McD’s, etc- then yes, it’s music to my ears (well, as long as I can move away or something to modulate the volume)… Are we on a airplane or in a restaurant with tablecloths and wait service? Then no, it’s incredibly irritating and puts my teeth on edge. How do you stop your precious from squealing in delight at a upscale restaurant? By _not bringing them there until they are old enough to not do it_. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/47 "2013-10-22T21:07:21Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > … before she is returned to her mother. . … my two formerly troubled kids . . I dunno. The way you describe their upbringing so far, I’m not sure going back to Mom is the best thing for them. > [@CLee](#): > > Holy crap I had no idea, I’m sure that is annoying to quiet types… . . As has been pointed out upthread, it’s annoying to anyone with functioning eardrums. Now you know. (And knowing is half the battle!) > [@CLee](#): > > … this process of teaching kids how to human. . . While I’m aware that this was a typo, I kinda like the phrasing. “This is how to human. Watch me.” ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/48 "2013-10-22T21:17:33Z")
And just to show I am not inhuman, just a little while ago, we were at Disneyland (just getting into the park) . Kid was wailing up a storm as the parents wouldn’t let him take the fave plush toy (“he will lose it for sure, throw it into the water or something and then he gets worse”) and so I did the “silly bear dance”, which caused the kid to get quiet (from fun, fear or amazement, I am not sure). Me, a 50-something professional. _Silly bear dance_. :eek: Because- Disney. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/49 "2013-10-22T21:19:07Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > But it really just sounds like joy to me at this point. It’s just like Lyndon Johnson said - [a yelp is not a sound of pain](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wUfmxg7xM44/Splz-YS_IhI/AAAAAAAAABg/e_6WmE6Jw-4/s400/LBJ+Her+by+ears+and+Him+critics.jpg), it’s a sound of joy! ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/50 "2013-10-22T21:19:16Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > If you are going to compare it to the noise those devices make, then would you kindly hand out the same noise-protection devices recommended when those other items are used. So use whatever ear protection you use when your neighbors are caring for their lawns. The sporadic squeals and loud laughter is nowhere near as loud as any gas powered lawn equipment, though the pollution output is probably about the same. > [@Duckster](#): > > [VegSource](http://www.vegsource.com/attwood/babes.htm) > > Talk with your baby doctor. My child isn’t getting shots, she’s playing in a three acre yard. > [@picunurse](#): > > (My Bold) > In fact, she probably does understand a lot of what is said to her. Before a child can say a single word, they understand hundreds. > When she is babbling and it sounds like speech, she is practicing the sounds of language. She will make the sounds present in all languages, eventually, opting for just those she hears around her. > Talking to a pre-language child in a normal way, (not baby talk) will help her speech to be clearer, once she has enough of the tools she’ll need. This I know, thanks to the 13 year old I already have and a great linguistics teacher. No baby talk allowed at our house 🙂 > [@DrDeth](#): > > Squealing? Are we at Disneyland, the beach, the play pit at McD’s, etc- then yes, it’s music to my ears (well, as long as I can move away or something to modulate the volume)… Are we on a airplane or in a restaurant with tablecloths and wait service? Then no, it’s incredibly irritating and puts my teeth on edge. > > How do you stop your precious from squealing in delight at a upscale restaurant? By _not bringing them there until they are old enough to not do it_. Ha, like I could afford an upscale restaurant at the moment. Family style for us all the way. Please enjoy your filet Mignon in peace while I choke down yet another cheap pizza. > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > While I’m aware that this was a typo, I kinda like the phrasing. “This is how to human. Watch me.” That’s what my husband and I call it, teaching them how to human. And on the worst days, the best we can hope for is monkey. But on the best days, they are superior people to most fully formed humans I know. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/51 "2013-10-22T21:27:24Z")
Not a typo? Even better! I like it! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/52 "2013-10-22T21:34:49Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Calm the fuck down. Have you ever tried to teach a toddler how to do anything? They’re a long way from being little adults you can reason with, only in tiny bodies. A lot of parenting is a combination of being proactive and trying to avoid situations, and in how you react to situations you didn’t expect. > > But if a toddler throws a screaming fit in a restaurant and the parents take the kid outside and you’re bothered because the kid screamed at all, you can stuff that attitude where the sun doesn’t shine as far as I’m concerned. It’s not reasonable to expect toddlers to know how to act in situations they haven’t experienced, and for the most part, every experience is new and novel, and they’re building that experience. I was one of five kids. We were regularly taken to stores and restaurants and were expected to behave. We understood early that there were consequences for our actions (and no, it wasn’t spanking). In May my niece took my 3 year old great-nephew to a college graduation. For 3 hours, he sat relatively quietly, playing with the small toy he was allowed to bring. The only time he made enough noise that I could hear him 4 seats over was at the very end, when the exploding confetti cannons went off. He’s not a perfect kid, not by a long shot. But he’s expected to behave, and removed if he can’t behave. And don’t use that kind of language with me outside of the pit, which I never go to. StG ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/53 "2013-10-22T23:04:18Z")
If a baby’s cry can be up to 125 decibels, then why didn’t we all destroy our own hearing when we were babies? ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/54 "2013-10-22T23:14:16Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > Ha, like I could afford an upscale restaurant at the moment. Family style for us all the way. I don’t think people should have to hear a lot of screeching at IHOP either. Like I said, the parents should be doing something about it if it happens, not just sitting there, or God forbid, egging it on like some idiots do. Children are people and have every right to exist in society, but annoying sounds are annoying sounds regardless of the source or the special snowflake reason for it. If your kid is being disruptive and you can’t get them to stop, leave (obviously if it’s the grocery store or something you might need to quickly finish your shopping. If it’s a non G-rated movie, leave right away). Also I don’t really get your gripe about people talking down to your 13-year-old daughter. I have one of those too, and definitely not one of those grown-looking ones, and it’s rare for anyone to do that. And I don’t think many people have a problem with a little kid coming and babbling to them either, and if they do they’re assholes (the parent should redirect the kid’s attention someone else if the person clearly isn’t interested, but only a huge jerk would be bothered by the kid even trying). And panicking because they don’t understand the kid and can’t figure out how to respond? Where do you find these people? I don’t feel like the general public needs lessons in these things. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/55 "2013-10-22T23:16:34Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > If a baby’s cry can be up to 125 decibels, then why didn’t we all destroy our own hearing when we were babies? Because the bones in the ear that are calcified due to execssive noise are soft and pliant when we are young. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/56 "2013-10-22T23:31:13Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > No, you need to borrow a decibel meter. It’s called [noise induced](http://www.dangerousdecibels.org/education/information-center/noise-induced-hearing-loss/) [hearing loss](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noise-induced_hearing_loss) ([NIHL](http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/hearing/pages/noise.aspx)). Honestly, is there a single reliable case anyone can cite of someone losing their hearing because of other people’s children making noise at the Galleria? Give me a break. ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/57 "2013-10-23T00:16:12Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > And you don’t discourage that? That is music to some “parent’s” ears. And no, it is NOT OK to expect others to tolerate shrieks - esp. those of small girls. I have a theory that children should come with 3 plugs and a large bag. Insert plugs, place in bag, hang in closet. Open at age 10 and remove genitalia. At 22, remove from bag and re-install. Little girls allowed to run around stores screaming and making messes of displays are damned near proof of the need for my theory. NOT OK! gottit? ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/58 "2013-10-23T00:28:46Z")
CLee, I have a question for you… Let’s say we were both eating at a sit down restaurant, me with a freind, and you with your passel of rambunctious handfuls, one of them starts demonstrating their prodigious and healthy set of lungs… Let’s say I took some hints from Batman and prepared for this eventuality, I reach into the handy Utility Belt, and grab two set of foam earplugs, hand a pair to my freind, we both put them in, give you a quick discouraging scowl, then turn back to our meal… What would your reaction be, what message would you think we’re sending? Would it be any different if we used far more obvious over-the-ear “earmuffs” style hearing protectors? It’s something I’ve always wanted to try but I never seem to have a set of hearing protectors available at that time… ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/59 "2013-10-23T01:08:32Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > CLee, I have a question for you… **MacTech** , I doubt she will hear you. The OP put in her not-listening-to-your-facts-supported-opinion earplugs very early in this thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940/60 "2013-10-23T01:33:40Z")
Wow, I think I’d rather listen to a screaming baby than wade through that OP. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-the-public-about-my-noisy-kids/671940.md?page=4)