# An Open Letter To Vlasic **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 25, 2007, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557 "2007-04-25T05:33:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/21 "2007-04-26T15:56:00Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] I don’t know. I wondered that myself. I hoped it was just freaky naturally giant cucumbers and not freaky altered ones. [/QUOTE] I think it has something to do with that documentary [_First Family_](http://imdb.com/title/tt0080739/). ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/22 "2007-04-26T22:06:03Z")
Sweet pickles is the poop of Satan himself. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/23 "2007-04-26T22:42:23Z")
[QUOTE=Faruiza] Sweet pickles is the poop of Satan himself. [/QUOTE] Fie, Sir. My seconds shall call on you in the morning. Pickled okra at 75 yards! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2007, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/24 "2007-04-26T22:47:20Z")
[QUOTE=Faruiza] Sweet pickles is the poop of Satan himself. [/QUOTE] Such an attitude! And in my town, of all places. Well I never! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/25 "2007-05-13T18:23:02Z")
[QUOTE=whiterabbit] Your problem is that you are buying _gag_ sweet pickles. Pickles of Satan, those are. Though I agree with you, **Omnicient** – I don’t like even dills under those circumstances either. Sweet pickles. Bleah. [/QUOTE] Tremble before the fearsome [Kool-Aid pickle!](http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/kool-aid-pickles-are-new-taste-sensation/20070509114409990001) > [@](#): > > Those pickles were once mere dills. They were once green. Their exteriors remain pebbly, a reminder that long ago they began their lives on a farm, on the ground, as cucumbers. > > But they now have an arresting color that combines green and garnet, and a bracing sour-sweet taste that they owe to a long marinade in cherry or tropical fruit or strawberry Kool-Aid. > > Kool-Aid pickles violate tradition, maybe even propriety. Depending on your palate and perspective, they are either the worst thing to happen to pickles since plastic brining barrels or a brave new taste sensation to be celebrated. Sounds yummy to me! ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/26 "2007-05-13T19:07:11Z")
Bah, sweet. _Zesty_ Vlasic stackers are my crack. If I’m not careful, I can easily go through an entire jar in one sitting. ---
**Author:** ![Glassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@Glassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glassy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/27 "2007-05-13T19:16:42Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Tremble before the fearsome Kool-Aid pickle! [/QUOTE] Dear God. That is horrifying. I must have one. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/28 "2007-05-13T19:18:28Z")
Gag… retch… heave… Like **Shagnasty** said, some flavors just do not belong together. “Sweet” and “pickles” are on that all-important list of contraindicated combinations. For that matter, you can go ahead and take my sweet & sour sauce the next time we order Chinese food. This thread inspired me to go over to the fridge and grab a kosher dill spear. Mmm… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/29 "2007-05-13T19:22:22Z")
I accidentally got a jar of sweet pickles when I wanted dill. You sweet pickle people are sick. Sick I say! Who would subject themselves to non-dilly goodness? I should be able to exchange these “pickles” for real pickles: dill pickles! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/30 "2007-05-13T19:23:43Z")
[QUOTE=Diceman] This thread inspired me to go over to the fridge and grab a kosher dill spear. Mmm… 🙂 [/QUOTE] I cannot imagine eating a pickle all by itself. One must have a sandwich with it, except for watermelon pickles, and they don’t count as real pickles. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/31 "2007-05-13T19:34:44Z")
Sweet pickles RULE! So do bread and butter pickles. Dill pickles are an abomination unto man, woman and child. I have spoken! ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/32 "2007-05-13T19:42:04Z")
Kool-Aid **pickles** …? No, they do not exist, I did not read that. The whole idea is far too disgusting to be real. Somebody’s screwing with our heads…right? Please? I mean, regular sweet pickles are bad enough…ewwwwwww! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/33 "2007-05-13T19:53:25Z")
[QUOTE=whiterabbit] Kool-Aid **pickles** …? No, they do not exist, I did not read that. The whole idea is far too disgusting to be real. Somebody’s screwing with our heads…right? Please? I mean, regular sweet pickles are bad enough…ewwwwwww! [/QUOTE] Didja read the link? They’ve got a photo of one. It’s **bright red!** 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/34 "2007-05-13T20:02:45Z")
The only thing I don’t like about Vlasic is… they’re _fluorescent green!!_ How can anyone eat something that color? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/35 "2007-05-13T20:09:33Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] Who would subject themselves to non-dilly goodness? [/QUOTE] So you admit non-dilly is good, my friend. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/36 "2007-05-13T21:27:40Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Didja read the link? They’ve got a photo of one. It’s **bright red!** 🆒 [/QUOTE] Yeah…I read it. I’m pretending I didn’t! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/37 "2007-05-13T21:39:01Z")
[QUOTE=whiterabbit] Yeah…I read it. I’m pretending I didn’t! [/QUOTE] Come to the sweet side! If you stay on the dill side, then your life will lack balance and be filled with suffering. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/38 "2007-05-13T22:49:50Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] So you admit non-dilly is good, my friend. [/QUOTE] I admit nothing! Non-dilly is badness. That “goodness’ is full of sarcasm. Your sweet pickles are evil. I’ll scrap the proposal to have the male/female checkbox for Pickle: Dilly or otherwise?” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/39 "2007-05-13T23:08:02Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] I admit nothing! Non-dilly is badness. That "goodness’ is full of sarcasm. [/QUOTE] Come to the Dark Side. We have Sweet Pickles. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2007, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557/40 "2007-05-13T23:21:16Z")
What do you suggest for a person(me) who loves, loves I say, dill pickles(and Vlasic are the best). But… I love sweet gherkins, sweet pickle relish, sweet chips, et. And so does kateclem. Why does it have to be one or the other? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/an-open-letter-to-vlasic/401557.md?page=3)