What was it Larry Niven had in his ‘Laws of SF’?
“Any SF book, no matter the quality, will sell a certain, minimum number of copies.”
But it has it’s corrolary…
“Unless your name is Heinlein you will not get rich writing science fiction.”
Actually, it was originally published by Chilton Books, best know for publishing auto repair manuals. It’s the second most unlikely publisher to ever put out a bestselling novel (The Naval Institute Press, which published Tom Clancy’s first nove, is the least likely).
As for the Eye of Argon, I read it years ago; it’s author, Jim Theiss, died recently. However, Darrell Schweitzer pointed out that, despite the purple prose and poor language, he managed to write a reasonably interesting story. Considering he was in his teens at the time, it’s not really all that terrible.
I tend to believe that the story in the OP was apocryphical. Sure, there are bad SF stories and series out there, but I don’t know of any that were written bad on purpose. Maybe someone tried to write a cliched story, but a truly bad story isn’t going to get published. No matter how bad you think a published novel is, the ones they reject are much much worse (just take a look at the various electronic vanity presses, or the infamous “Attack of the Rockoids” and “The Pleistocene Redemption”.
A science fiction novel so bad no publisher could be found? That part is easy. I have one myself…
That should be amended to read: “or unless your name is Michael Crichton and repackage well-used SF concepts under the inappropriate category of ‘thriller.’”
The first Gor book i read was Priest-Kings of Gor. Which is mostly about the Giant Praying Mantis type creatures who have a hi-tech underground society, and the heros interactions with them. Little or no dodgy stuff at all. I thought ‘Well that was alright, so i’ll try another one’.
Whoah :eek: .
As for doing down the Lensman books.
Don’t make me bring my Delameter over there.
[Hijack]My favorite SF rumor is about the two authors who came up with a bet as to who could create the best science-fiction religion. Frank Herbert created the Bene Gesserit. L. Ron Hubbard won the bet.
Daniel
Left Hand of Dorkness writes:
> [Hijack]My favorite SF rumor is about the two authors who
> came up with a bet as to who could create the best science-
> fiction religion. Frank Herbert created the Bene Gesserit. L. Ron
> Hubbard won the bet.
This is clearly not true just for chronological reasons. Hubbard came up with Scientology in the early 1950’s. The Dune books came out in the mid-1960’s.
Not only does no author fit the description given by Spider Robinson, but it’s not true that you can ask at any science fiction convention and people will tell you who the author is. I’ve been to more than 100 conventions over the past 26 years. I’ve never met anyone there who knew who the author is. Spider Robinson is simply making things up.
Hubbard, however, has been quoted as saying, “I’m going to form a religion and get rich. I’m tired of making a penny a word.”
Dammit, Wendell, ruin a good story for me, whydontcha? 
Daniel
tracer:
Oh, they were consecutive, were they? Are you sure it wasn’t rejected by several, then accepted by one, then rejected by several more?
ACK! Medic!
Blackclaw collapses into a twitching mass of flesh upon the worn floor of his dreary office building that was constructed just a decade ago during a nobler time when the sun shone with favor upon the spinning globe that is the Earth.
There were two; Pawns of Null-A and Null-A 3. Pawns came out a few years after World while 3 came out in the mid-eighties.
I actually didn’t think the first two were that bad but Null-A 3 threatened to collapse into a black hole from the force of its suckiness. Still, this can’t be the series Spider was talking about since there were only three books.
Plural. As in, twin Delameters. And if that’s supposed to be what Doc Smith turned out when he was trying to write bad, then he’s got a lot more talent than I thought.
Eh, I’ve read enough bad fanfic to recognize this as more of the same.
I managed to get to Chapter 7 1/2. It gets worse, much worse, as you get further into it. I HAVE to see the illustrations, as it’s obvious the story was written with a big box of crayons available as a reference (the 'love interest’s hair is repeatedly referred to as ‘orchid’).
I enjoyed the first 5, although could have done without the whole slave thing - but they got steadily worse and I finally stopped even trying to read them.
Okay, if the mavens are certain that E. E. “Doc” Smith is outside the timeframe for the anecdote, I’ll concede that I had formed a faulty assumption.
Still, as regards literary quality, I’ll stand by what I said. I had more enjoyment as an eight-year old reading The Bobbsey Twins, The Happy Hollisters, The Hardy Boys and The Adventures of Tom Swift, than I ever got from reading a Lensman book as a grown man.
Considering that they employed similar levels of of craftsmanship, that’s not too surprising, I suppose.
Ah, that’s nothing. My favorite part is when our barbarian hero bravely battles a villainous rodent:
Doc Savage came from a magazine series, which started in 1933 and went to 1945 or so. I’d have to consult Phil Farmer’s book. I have the first 70 or so of the paperback reprints, and one of the original magazines. For something that came out monthly, they’re not bad, certainly a lot better than that other monthly series, Perry Rhodan.
The Lensman series is a big upgrade from the Skylark series, the first of which was written in 1919. You can have sense of wonder or real characters or real dialog, choose one. I reread the Lensmen series not long ago - I liked them better as a teenager, but they’re not bad for their time. They’re better than the average mid-30s sf story.
Captain Future was first published in another pulp. Hey, Hamilton did it for money.
I can believe the story is a joke, but if it were real my money would be on Sword of Shannhara (sp?) I only stuggled through the first of them, but could well believe it was done as a challenge.
prepare to pay!!
“‘Qadgop the Mercotan slithered flatly around the after-bulge of the tranship. One claw dug into the meters-thick armor of pure neutronium, then another. Its terrible xmex-like snout locked on. Its zymolosely polydactile tongue crunched out, crashed down, rasped across. Slurp! Slurp! kaylasdad99’s post-count would increase no more!’”