# Anal bleaching: Have you? Would you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 2, 2009, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775 "2009-12-02T23:47:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/61 "2009-12-03T15:23:52Z")
Do peoples’ assholes really get darker as they get older? I can’t say I’ve ever studied the “problem” myself. Does anyone know? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/62 "2009-12-03T15:44:17Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Ya know, I’ll bet you could modify one of those Crest White Strips for anal use! Strips? I was thinking more along the lines of a modified Lifesavers, especially the Wint-O-Green because then you could clench and have blue sparks fly out. ---
**Author:** ![Gymnopithys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/fbc32d/32.png) [@Gymnopithys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gymnopithys)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/63 "2009-12-03T16:09:31Z")
Anal bleaching ? What’s next ? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/64 "2009-12-03T16:12:28Z")
Probably Botox… or would that paralyze your anus? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/65 "2009-12-03T16:13:38Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Strips? I was thinking more along the lines of a modified Lifesavers, especially the Wint-O-Green because then you could clench and have blue sparks fly out. That would take some mighty clenching. Maybe workout with walnuts first. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/66 "2009-12-03T16:33:45Z")
Ah yes… Ben Wahlnuts. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/67 "2009-12-03T16:41:22Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I would not, could not, cause its crass. > I would not, could not, bleach my ass. > I would not bleach it with some lye > I would not put acid into the pie > I would not could not, it sounds heinous > I WILL NOT LET BLEACH NEAR MY ANUS > I will let my ass stay nice and tan > I do not like ass-bleach, Mercotan! Brilliant! ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/68 "2009-12-03T17:11:53Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Thanks for this thread. Because without it, I may never have found the site linked to in the anal bleaching site: [www.shopinprivate.com](http://www.shopinprivate.com) It’s great fun! How could you not love a site that has categories like “Embarrassing Ailments” and “Strange Products?” OMFG, I’m dying here! There’s a page on the shop in private site called “Guilty Pleasures” and the first item on the page is Journey’s Greatest Hits. Along with other things like a Fry Daddy deep fryer, and a Snuggie(blanket with sleeves)! Alongside pocket rocket vibrators and books about how to have an affair and get away with it. This is fan-fucking-tastic! I wonder if Tina Fey knows about this site. She could get six months worth of gags for her character on 30 Rock from this one page alone. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/69 "2009-12-03T17:17:01Z")
My mother always told me to wear clean underwear in case I got into a traffic accident. Now I gotta slap Clorox on my poop-nozzle or I will miss my chance at porn stardom. Who thinks of these things? And why? I am trying to remember all the folks who have had a gander at my third eye, and it’s a pretty short list. And how dark is too dark? Is this going to be like picking out stain for the kitchen cabinets? “Mahogany” was too dark, but “Ash” was too light. Then there were things like “Autumn Sunset” about which I had no idea. Do you take little ass-chips home and tape them next to the toilet to be sure your bung-hole matches the furniture? Do you have to specially order toilet paper so it accentuates the color? If a close personal friend is taking a ride up the Hershey Highway, do the condoms have to match? What if bleach chemically interacts with Astro-glide, and there is fizzing and explosions? Would that make it better, or worse? More importantly, how does one stop oneself from thinking about stuff like this so I can sleep nights? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/70 "2009-12-03T17:26:35Z")
Can you imagine the dialogue between the ambitious-yet-clueless girl from the sticks who has come to the big city (well, the San Fernando Valley, home of porn) envisioning adult-film stardom and the jaded-yet-experienced porn-star veteran casting/make-up/assistant production person? Somehow, I envision the wannabee porn star beginning with “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/71 "2009-12-03T18:33:02Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Having seen enough peri-rectal problems in my professional career, I will state unequivocally that I haven’t and don’t want to. But I’m curious as to how the SDMB crowd views this phenomenon. Alright, Qadgop - we answered your poll. Now \*give \*with the professional anecdotes! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/72 "2009-12-03T18:37:47Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Alright, Qadgop - we answered your poll. Now \*give \*with the professional anecdotes! Being a prison doctor, I doubt this is popular among his patients. ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/73 "2009-12-03T20:45:01Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Okay, now you have me picturing black people with lily white anuses and sitting here chortling. 😃 The first dirty joke I ever learned had this punchline: “Bless my heart, bless my soul, never seen a n\*\*\*\*r with a white asshole!” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/74 "2009-12-03T20:53:59Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Probably Botox… or would that paralyze your anus? Maybe it would prevent it from wrinkling… And - I’m seeing doctors in the emergency room with patients who have been using Crest Whitestrips on their bungholes. “I see. And _how_ did you get these chemical burns on your butthole? Oh, you tripped?” ETA: And next time I’m in a drugstore, I’m checking the Crest package to see if it has a disclaimer - “Not for use on your butt.” ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/75 "2009-12-03T21:21:38Z")
Next up, dyeing your anus different colors. I’ll go with a really bright shade of blue. ---
**Author:** ![lalenin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@lalenin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lalenin)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/76 "2009-12-03T21:31:37Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Thanks for this thread. Because without it, I may never have found the site linked to in the anal bleaching site: [www.shopinprivate.com](http://www.shopinprivate.com) It’s great fun! How could you not love a site that has categories like “Embarrassing Ailments” and “Strange Products?” It is indeed a nice site, but since when is nasal decongestant an ‘embarrassing product’? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/77 "2009-12-03T22:14:17Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > “I… have a dream… that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their assholes, but by the content of their character.” The content of their COLONS. You got the quote wrong. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/78 "2009-12-03T22:33:15Z")
> [@Gymnopithys](#): > > Anal bleaching ? What’s next ? Colon cleansing. No wait. That was first. Or was it? No I’m not going to go look it up. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/79 "2009-12-03T23:01:11Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Strips? I was thinking more along the lines of a modified Lifesavers, especially the Wint-O-Green because then you could clench and have blue sparks fly out. This is the first time I’ve read a post that literally made me LOL. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/80 "2009-12-03T23:05:21Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Alright, Qadgop - we answered your poll. Now \*give \*with the professional anecdotes! Sorry, but every time I do that, someone gets uptight about me “violating confidentiality”. Even though I don’t. So I just avoid all the accusations by keeping quiet about it now. I do think it’s interesting that of our respondents so far, just under 3% have expressed interest, and almost 0.5% have done bleaching. That’s a pretty big market out there, if these folks can only get the word out! While I have no plans to bleach myself, I must say it’d brighten my day if more of the brown eyes I had to look at were less brown. But I’d settle for fewer leaky ones. Next thread: Hairy Ainus. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775.md?page=5)