# Anal bleaching: Have you? Would you?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [December 2, 2009, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775 "2009-12-02T23:47:22Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 39

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**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\
**Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-bleaching-have-you-would-you/519775/39 "2009-12-03T03:17:22Z")

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> [@pravnik](#):
>
> Yes, I do bleach, but only out of absolute necessity, as I wear a man-thong to the beach, where a too-dark anus would attract undue attention.

Is it absolutely necessary to wear a thong to the beach? And isn’t the thong supposed to be covering the anus anyway. I’m confused.

> [@Dangerosa](#):
>
> You’ve asked this before, pre poll. And Green Bean did a lovely mock ad in that thread for anal bleaching.

Bwah! I’d forgotten all about that! Thanks. I’ll re-post it here just for yuks.

> [@Is anal bleaching for you?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/52):
>
> Well, if they ever decide to advertise anal bleaching on a large scale, I have a campaign all worked out.
> 
> \*Scene: A swingers party or some such.
> 
> Camera pans around the room. Everyone is naked. All sorts of couples and threesomes and more-somes are going at it. We can see that these people are of all shapes, sizes, and ages (at least by the standards of tv-land…but they’re not all perfect model-types)
> 
> Camera stops on one woman, dejectedly sitting alone on a bench by a wall. She’s a knockout by any standard. But she’s obviously a wallflower. She looks out at all the people having fun.
> 
> We hear her thoughts: “I don’t know why nobody wants to play with me. I used deodorant. I brushed my teeth. I’m freshly shaved. And I think I’m pretty enough! I wish I knew what the problem is!”
> 
> The camera pulls away a bit, and we see a somewhat matronly older woman sit down next to the pretty young thing and look at her with knowing sympathy.
> 
> The pretty young thing tearfully blurts out “Why am I so unpopular!?”
> 
> The older woman says “It’s not you, dear. It’s your dingy old asshole.”
> 
> The pretty young thing looks surprised and hopeful, and a hot young stud comes over and leads the older woman away. We hear the older woman giggling off screen and saying “oh, you want me to bend over…again??”
> 
> Cut to screen with “DR. MERCOTAN’S ANAL BLEACHING CLINIC” with contact information, and voice-over saying “Could your sex life be a little more lively? Call Dr. Mercotan’s Anal Bleaching Clinic today!” \*

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