# Anal Doctor warns: Do not use wet wipes. I have so many questions **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 28, 2020, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650 "2020-07-28T22:18:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/41 "2020-07-30T02:14:59Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Urinary tract infection? How so? (Is this a lady thing?) It was in Dewey\_Finn’s link. [https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT03050515](https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT03050515) ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/42 "2020-07-30T03:40:14Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Ref the vintage Lysol ad, I gotta wonder what a 1930s woman with a 6-year old is doing looking for a date? In the spirit of that bygone era did the copy writers intend her to represent: > > 1. A two-timing hussy > 2. A scandalous divorcee > 3. A widow who’s damaged goods > 4. A “fallen” woman > 5. A woman married to the man going out the door for the last time who, learning she’s pregnant, has just issued an ultimatum: “No more kids for me!” Apparently it’s about a man that _abandons his wife and kid_ because wife’s nethers are lacking. And _she’s_ the bad guy. Even the kid has an accusing stare. ---
**Author:** ![Teuton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teuton/32/3864_2.png) [@Teuton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teuton)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/43 "2020-07-30T06:50:40Z")
It is, indeed, all that small girl’s fault he left. You can see it in her eyes… ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/44 "2020-07-30T08:23:08Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > One should be suspicious of any treatment that purports to cure too many different (seemingly unrelated) conditions. For this, we still have Lysol. (Where exactly do they install a fecal transplant for urinary tract infections?) Well, yes, usually, but in this case most of the listed conditions have problems in the same general area of the body. > [@Senegoid](#): > > Urinary tract infection? How so? (Is this a lady thing?) Presumably the “for urinary tract infections” has to do with bacteria from the anal region wandering down towards the urinary plumbing, which is hard to entirely avoid given the geography of the crotch. Yes, this is a “lady thing” given the configuration of the female crotch, as opposed to the male crotch where the entrance to the urinary system is several inches further from the anus region. Change the bacteria in the rectum to something less likely to invade the urethra. That would be my guess. > [@Senegoid](#): > > Why can’t they produce synthetic fecal transplant material? I should think that, to treat any specific condition, they would know what the relevant ingredients are. Why can’t we produce an artificial liver? We know what it does. Why not? It’s complicated. Literally, it’s a very complicated structure/system made of multiple types of cells doing complicated chemistry. Can’t do artificial fecal transplants because they involve a lot of different species of bacteria. Basically, you’re transplanting a mini-ecosystem and we probably don’t know the exact make up of the ideal mix even if we have a better idea of what’s going on than a decade ago. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/45 "2020-07-30T10:18:53Z")
Uh, she _isn’t using the Lysol douche_, so they can have sex only during “safe” times, which isn’t often enough for him-- particularly if he’s squeamish about doing it during her period. If she’d get with the program, and use the Lysol douche, they could have sex WHENEVER HE WANTED. ---
**Author:** ![its\_the\_daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bb73d2/32.png) [@its\_the\_daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/its_the_daddy)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/46 "2020-07-30T11:59:03Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > as opposed to the male crotch where the entrance to the urinary system is several inches further from the anus region sometimes over a foot, in my case… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/47 "2020-07-30T13:01:00Z")
> [@Dr.Crap](#): > > The latest studies in Goop suggest that quartz crystal should be the only medium you wipe with. Not three seashells? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/48 "2020-07-30T13:18:11Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Uh, she _isn’t using the Lysol douche_ , so they can have sex only during “safe” times, which isn’t often enough for him-- particularly if he’s squeamish about doing it during her period. If she’d get with the program, and use the Lysol douche, they could have sex WHENEVER HE WANTED. Thanks. In case my intent wasn’t clear, I was sneering at the whole blatantly sexist ad, and the blatantly sexist assumptions behind it. Of which your (and @squeegee’s) comments would be good entries 6 & 7 in my list of very bad things the copywriters were thinking. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/49 "2020-07-30T13:22:24Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > > [@Dr.Crap](#): > > > > The latest studies in Goop suggest that quartz crystal should be the only medium you wipe with. > > Not three seashells? They don’t come with instructions. Quartz crystals are intuitive. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/50 "2020-07-30T14:32:08Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > well, the obesity one was a surprise, but it was an unexpected result after a transplant, so worth investigating It’s not to me, because when they first started studying gut biomes in detail, they found that overweight people had an entirely different biome than skinny people. I’ve wanted to volunteer for the study for years! ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/51 "2020-07-30T15:16:47Z")
Is there a AMA board certification for _ **Anal Doctor** _? I’ve never heard of that one. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/52 "2020-07-30T16:49:09Z")
I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to jam them that far up there 😆 ---
**Author:** ![a6ka97](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@a6ka97](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a6ka97)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/53 "2020-07-30T17:03:38Z")
I have been pondering about the the Lysol douche. If I remember how bad it burns/stings my mouth I would hate to see what it would feel like “down there” and i’m a guy. ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/54 "2020-07-30T17:10:09Z")
About 15 years ago I had rectal surgery. Since then I have used Cottonelle Wipes on a daily basis (tp first, then the wipe to remove any residue). The wipe never gets flushed. My ass hasn’t fallen off from using wipes daily and I don’t expect it to. And “anal surgeon” is wrong. They are colorectal surgeons. That is one hint that the article is full of made up stuff. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/55 "2020-07-30T18:44:07Z")
I thought an “anal surgeon” was just a doctor who was really really uptight, and liked schedules. ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/56 "2020-07-30T18:46:50Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > thought an “anal surgeon” was just a doctor who was really really uptight, and liked schedules. They are all ‘anal’. ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/57 "2020-07-30T21:01:18Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Is there a AMA board certification for _ **Anal Doctor** _? I’ve never heard of that one. Well, you see, “proctologist” was too formal and sciency sounding for that website’s readers. They had to simplify it to “anal doctor” so their readers would understand. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2020, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/58 "2020-07-30T21:29:01Z")
I would have gone with “Butt doctor” in that case. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2020, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/59 "2020-07-31T02:36:05Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > > > > [@Dr.Crap](#): > > > > > > The latest studies in Goop suggest that quartz crystal should be the only medium you wipe with. > > > > Not three seashells? > > They don’t come with instructions. Quartz crystals are intuitive. I’m just worried that my crystal might turn out to be piezoelectric, and I’d get an unwelcome surprise. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2020, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650/60 "2020-07-31T02:56:13Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I’m just worried that my crystal might turn out to be piezoelectric, and I’d get an unwelcome surprise. - Some people pay good money for that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-doctor-warns-do-not-use-wet-wipes-i-have-so-many-questions/916650.md?page=4)