# Anal Jihad **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 20, 2014, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612 "2014-07-20T17:56:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/1 "2014-07-20T17:56:41Z")
> **[Egypt: Muslim Brotherhood Clerics Sanction 'Anal Jihad' for Lonely Militants...](https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/egypt-muslim-brotherhood-clerics-sanction-anal-jihad-lonely-militants-fighting-far-their-1457242)** > > Egypt's prominent Islamic cleric accuses Brotherhood of authorising 'anal jihad'. > [@](#): > > According to the English translation of his remarks in a report on the Middle East Media Research Institute, preacher Shahin said: “We have recently heard of a new kind of jihad, called ‘anal jihad’. Do you know what that is? They practice homosexuality with one another, thinking, wrongly, that this constitutes jihad for the sake of Allah.” More at the link. I’m not sure what I’m pitting, to be honest. I don’t mind homosexuality, so it’s not actually the Anal Jihad I’m pitting. Maybe the term “Anal Jihad”? No, that’s amazing. Maybe the opposition to the Anal Jihad? No, that’s par for the course with Islamists. I’m not sure, but I’m certainly pitting something. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/2 "2014-07-20T19:11:30Z")
Anal Jihad? Is that Jello Biafra’s new band? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/3 "2014-07-20T19:17:17Z")
I had some Taco Bell declare Anal Jihad on me. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/4 "2014-07-20T19:18:44Z")
Anal Jihad is when you go to war on assholes. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/5 "2014-07-20T19:34:24Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Anal Jihad is when you go to war on assholes. It involves deep-penetration strikes. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/6 "2014-07-20T20:12:52Z")
When I saw the title I assumed this was someone’s regretful remarks after eating too many chilie peppers. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/7 "2014-07-20T21:08:27Z")
You’re citing “_International Business Times_” as a source? Jesus fucking Christ. Those last three words aren’t a description of two dudes making the old “clickbait” with each other, by the way. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/8 "2014-07-20T21:56:42Z")
This “clickbait” of which you speak? This is not known to my people. And we don’t want to. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/9 "2014-07-20T22:00:11Z")
“No, no…they aren’t gay. They just have anal sex every now and then to remind them that the Prophet doesn’t like it!” ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/10 "2014-07-20T22:28:17Z")
Well, it’s certainly one step better than Anal Blitzkrieg. But maybe we oughta declare an Anal Crusade in retaliation, just in case. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/11 "2014-07-20T22:43:14Z")
For your wordplay enjoyment, the wiki thingy has this to say on jihad _Jihad means “to struggle in the way of Allah”… Jihad is an important religious duty for Muslims. A minority among the Sunni scholars sometimes refer to this duty as the sixth pillar of Islam, though it occupies no such official status._ So, there is a nice phallic symbol (pillar), and jihad, I have heard, is of described as an “inner struggle”, so, um, make of that what you will. But you should probably not _over_- **anal** yze it. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/12 "2014-07-20T22:54:30Z")
I couldn’t figure what the hell y’all were talking about because, for me, there was no OP. Then I remembered why. Excessive ridiculousness leads to the ignore feature. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/13 "2014-07-20T23:32:00Z")
I thought I understood this thread, butt I was wrong. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/14 "2014-07-21T00:20:29Z")
> [@blindboyard](#): > > I’m not sure what I’m pitting, to be honest. Next time, could you figure that out before posting an OP? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/15 "2014-07-21T00:33:21Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > For your wordplay enjoyment, the wiki thingy has this to say on jihad > _Jihad means “to struggle in the way of Allah”… Jihad is an important religious duty for Muslims. A minority among the Sunni scholars sometimes refer to this duty as the sixth pillar of Islam, though it occupies no such official status._ > So, there is a nice phallic symbol (pillar), and jihad, I have heard, is of described as an “inner struggle”, so, um, make of that what you will. But you should probably not _over_- **anal** yze it. Lol. You said “duty”. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/16 "2014-07-21T00:36:59Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Next time, could you figure that out before posting an OP? Which is worse? Him knowing or not knowing? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/17 "2014-07-21T00:47:11Z")
Is this legit, or another story like one about the Egyptian law that allows husbands to have sex with their wives’ corpses? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/18 "2014-07-21T01:51:23Z")
I demand the Obama administration start bombing now that we know they have weapons of ass destruction. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/19 "2014-07-21T02:07:10Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Anal Jihad? Is that Jello Biafra’s new band? Nah, he’s still playing with the Guantanamo School of Medicine. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612/20 "2014-07-21T03:05:15Z")
It sounds like the name of some low-budget porno. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-jihad/693612.md?page=2)