# Anal Sex is Unnatural **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 15, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452 "2001-05-15T00:42:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Der\_Kommissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dc4da7/32.png) [@Der\_Kommissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Kommissar)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/1 "2001-05-15T00:42:30Z")
First, it is clearly condemned in the bible. But even ignoring that, it’s clearly unnatural. Let’s suppose you saw somebody putting gas in the tailpipe of a car. It’s clearly a nutty thing to do. And if the person claimed to enjoy it, you’d suspect there was something wrong with that person. Anal sex is no different. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/2 "2001-05-15T00:46:46Z")
Clearly you have never heard of the prostate. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/3 "2001-05-15T00:47:32Z")
Hi, Opal. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/4 "2001-05-15T00:49:05Z")
I take it from your “tailpipe” analogy that you object because the anus serves as a system for removing waste from the body. As does female genitalia. I take it you’re celibate? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/5 "2001-05-15T00:52:00Z")
Don’t turn around…oh oh… Der Kommissar’s in town…oh oh… Um, well, let’s see, a lot things aren’t natural. And a lot of things that ARE natural are bad, like snake venom. ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/6 "2001-05-15T00:52:00Z")
SO:DO:MY 1. neighbours; 2. friends; 3. fellow dopers; 4. dogs :yawn: ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/7 "2001-05-15T00:55:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Der Kommissar \* > **First, it is clearly condemned in the bible.** I think I speak for many of us when I say “whoop-ti-f\*uck” for that. IF it is condemned (Chapter and verse please), then I put it with all the other stuff that’s condemned that we don’t worry about. How many witches have you not suffered to live recently? \*\* > [@](#): > > But even ignoring that, it’s clearly unnatural.\*\* A) Let me reiterate “whoop-ti-f\*uck” B) Typing on your computer’s not all that natural either. And yet, here you are. You want natural, go squat in a cave. C) Tell that to my brother’s dog who tries to anally rape anything on four legs. \*\* > [@](#): > > Let’s suppose you saw somebody putting gas in the tailpipe of a car. It’s clearly a nutty thing to do. And if the person claimed to enjoy it, you’d suspect there was something wrong with that person. Anal sex is no different. > \*\* “There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy” I personally find anal sex (giving or presumably recieving) yukky. But guess what: if both participants want it, **it’s none of my business** , or, I suspect, yours. Fenris (who’s never written a response to Mrs. Grundy before!) ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/8 "2001-05-15T01:06:49Z")
Well that about wraps it up for all the gay guys. Ya’ll go out and find some nice, natural vaginas to put gasoline in, m’kay? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/9 "2001-05-15T01:10:21Z")
Say, **Kommissar** , had any pork lately? IIRC, the Bible (OT) sez it’s from an unclean animal and shouldn’t be eaten. Also, please explain how you, personally, determine what is “unnatural”. ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/10 "2001-05-15T01:15:51Z")
Clearly, the anal orgasms referred to in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=70964) thread must also be “unnatural”. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/11 "2001-05-15T01:18:09Z")
Wait, I just realized something! Mouths are for taking in sustenance, so I was just about to call my girlfriend and tell her that BJ’s were right out of the question. But as everyone around here knows, [there’s calories in sperm](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_054.html). Whew! As Uncle Cecil would undoubtedly say to all the Teeming Millions, of whatever sexual orientation, happy dieting! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/12 "2001-05-15T01:26:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Der Kommissar \* > Let’s suppose you saw somebody putting gas in the tailpipe of a car. It’s clearly a nutty thing to do. And if the person claimed to enjoy it, you’d suspect there was something wrong with that person. Anal sex is no different. I’ll keep your advice in mind the next time someone tries to ram a gasoline pump nozzle up my ass when I’m filling my car. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/13 "2001-05-15T01:38:29Z")
Hmmm. The old “it’s unnatural” argument surfaces once again. Complete with what The Bible says. Well, yes, the Book of Leviticus lays it down as a rule that “Thou shalt not lay with man as with woman.” Clearly this prohibits bisexuality. Then we get into the Sodom story, in Genesis. And the only reasonable conclusion to be drawn from this is that God gets really P|$$ed off when people want to gang-anal-rape incognito angels (as are the “young men” in question, quite clearly when you read the context). So you would be advised to avoid gang-anal-raping anybody, in case they’re angels going incognito. Paul had a major problem with sex generally, as his letters made clear. But if you cannot stay celibate, he’ll give you a break and let you get married. But all you happily heterosexual unbelievers better watch out: according to the first chapter of Romans, He punishes unbelief with turning you gay. (You should _see_ His collection of toaster ovens!!) Now, looking at the “unnatural” side of things, I was forced by an earlier thread on the subject to think through what God might have been up to. It’s obvious that the active role is simply an extension. For whatever reasons, He produced us males with erogenous areas on our penises that respond sexually to anything enclosing and rhythmically stimulating, whether it be vagina, hand, mouth, Dustette, or whatever. I had a question about the passive role, though. Then it finally came clear. Since evolution is not real, but a Satanic construct to mislead the unsaved, and God created us just as we are, then whatever the body contains must be what He originally made it to have. No post-Manufacturer modifications are allowed, only original equipment. If we examine the male body, we find a nerve plexus at the base of the penis adjacent to the prostate gland, stimulated by rhythmic massage of the anterior wall of the rectum. As might be conduced by the insertion of a penis. It therefore becomes clear that God had anal sex in mind in creation. [sub]Portions of this post were pre-sarcastified.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/14 "2001-05-15T02:08:21Z")
I was going to respond to this thread, however y’all made me laugh too hard and I forgot what I was going to say:mad: Well that and I feel like starting an urban legend about gangs with gas nozzles and unsuspecting people. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/15 "2001-05-15T02:37:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Asmodean \* > I feel like starting an urban legend about gangs with gas nozzles and unsuspecting people. And then there was the day the Blue Angels Motorcycle Club rode into town. . . ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/16 "2001-05-15T02:59:15Z")
. . . intending to solve San Fransisco’s power shortage once and for all. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/17 "2001-05-15T03:03:26Z")
I think you all have Kommissar’s _modus operandi_ wrong. He’s clearly trying to puzzle out the reason for intestinal gas! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/18 "2001-05-15T03:14:34Z")
The poster is correct of course. Anal sex is unnatural. As is oral sex. As is masturbation. And kissing -very unnatural. Don’t get me started on holding hands. None of the above have anything to do with reproduction. Disgusting. Unless you’re a bonobo or chimpanzee, of course. They apparently do much of the above. (Not anal sex, though. Lots of homosexuality OTOH.) ---
**Author:** ![Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df788c/32.png) [@Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/19 "2001-05-15T03:33:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Der Kommissar \* > \*\*First, it is clearly condemned in the bible. \*\* Where? for that matter, have you actually read the Bible, all the way through? And what about fellatio? Is that unnatural? To draw an analogy, it’s as if you put a gas pump nozzle in the gas tank of a car. It’s clearly a smart and entirely natural thing to do! And what about cunnilingus, for that matter? > [@](#): > > \*\* > But even ignoring that, it’s clearly unnatural. > > Let’s suppose you saw somebody putting gas in the tailpipe of a car. It’s clearly a nutty thing to do. And if the person claimed to enjoy it, you’d suspect there was something wrong with that person. Anal sex is no different. > \*\* Are you against the medical use of enemas, then? Or bladder irrigation to treat bladder infections? Not that I expect an answer, mind you. You have an unfortunate tendency to ignore people when they say things that are inconvenient to you. -Ben ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452/20 "2001-05-15T03:33:42Z")
Anal sex is unnatural? Then don’t have it, and leave the consenting adults to do what they damn well please in their beds. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anal-sex-is-unnatural/65452.md?page=2)