# And from the " Slut-Shaming Is The Way We Live, Deep In The Heart of Texas " Department... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 18, 2018, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817 "2018-08-18T01:00:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/321 "2018-08-27T09:04:16Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Why is it not OK to humiliate those whose actions are _all about_ humiliating young women? Oh, their actions are suddenly about humiliating youngwomen, now that the subject of humiliating them has come up? Previously it was about them being “rude” and “crass”. Or “mean”. > [@kambuckta](#): > > Your attitude and mindset are being demonized because they are so outrageously patronising and dismissive of real women living real lives in the 21st century. Read post #320 for my experience with real women living real lives as they relate to this issue. > [@kambuckta](#): > > _boys_ need to be taught that such behaviour is unacceptable under any circumstance. Perhaps you’ve not been keeping up with the discussion. As **Kimstu** and I have already discussed, such behavior occurs on a wide spectrum involving varying degrees of offense, from mild and almost imperceptible all the way up to severe and possibly criminal levels. Some of this is disciplinable and some isn’t. > [@kambuckta](#): > > Have you been tested lately for dementia? :dubious: No. > [@kambuckta](#): > > Have you read any of the replies in this thread that mention the COMPLETE OPPOSITE to what you ‘think’? Yes. I’ve been aware for some time that I apparently live in a magic bubble where all the bad and terrible things that get liberals so het up, enraged about and spurred to action over just don’t seem to happen. At first I was confused by this. But then I read that if you want to have a revolution. you have to get people pissed off. It became clear. > [@kambuckta](#): > > This has to be the funniest (and saddest) thing I’ve read on the interwebs in a bloody long time. Post #320. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Librarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_librarian/32/402_2.png) [@The\_Librarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Librarian)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/322 "2018-08-27T10:13:00Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > (…) > > During that time I’ve heard a lot of stories about men or boyfriends or ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends who were jerks and the bad/awful/creepy/violent things they did. > > But I have never in all that time, and I repeat, _NEVER_, even once heard any of them complain about having been groped or harassed or assaulted even in a minor way, while innocently going about their day-to-day business. > > Not once! > > This is incredible to me. > > (…) I have drafted a beautiful, invective-laden tirade dismantling almost everything you said here. I deleted it because it is counter-productive. Will you consider that in your argument “I am sceptical of sexual abuse because no woman ever told me about it” the arrow of causation is pointing the wrong way? You are almost militantly sceptical of any claim of sexual abuse, maybe this shows irl? Maybe the women in your life are not looking for that conversation? ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/323 "2018-08-27T10:59:54Z")
> [@The\_Librarian](#): > > I have drafted a beautiful, invective-laden tirade dismantling almost everything you said here. I deleted it because it is counter-productive. > > Will you consider that in your argument “I am sceptical of sexual abuse because no woman ever told me about it” the arrow of causation is pointing the wrong way? > > You are almost militantly sceptical of any claim of sexual abuse, maybe this shows irl? > Maybe the women in your life are not looking for that conversation? If you were to think about it for a moment, would you say that I’m skeptical of _any_ claim of sexual abuse, or just those being made by **Kimstu**? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Librarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_librarian/32/402_2.png) [@The\_Librarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Librarian)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/324 "2018-08-27T11:09:27Z")
I wrote exactly what I meant to. Please consider the question. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/325 "2018-08-27T11:29:32Z")
Very well, my answer is: no, I do not believe I project any sort of attitude that would discourage women from mentioning it were they to have been groped or harassed as they went about their daily activities. I would be completely open to any such comment from any woman I knew personally, and most likely to anyone relating such an account online. The women and girls I spoke of in post 320 date back to when I was around fifteen years old. It was at about that point that the young women who worked in my father’s business and the mothers of my friends began to open up and talk or joke with me about things related to sex. So any off-putting vibe would have to been in effect even at that young age and carry through to now, despite the fact that I’m not closed off or in any way someone who would react in a negative way to such a revelation. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/326 "2018-08-27T12:00:41Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Very well, my answer is: no, I do not believe I project any sort of attitude that would discourage women from mentioning it were they to have been groped or harassed as they went about their daily activities. I would be completely open to any such comment from any woman I knew personally, and most likely to anyone relating such an account online. > > The women and girls I spoke of in post 320 date back to when I was around fifteen years old. It was at about that point that the young women who worked in my father’s business and the mothers of my friends began to open up and talk or joke with me about things related to sex. So any off-putting vibe would have to been in effect even at that young age and carry through to now, despite the fact that I’m not closed off or in any way someone who would react in a negative way to such a revelation. There are lots of women that don’t tell their their best friends, mothers, husbands… What makes you think your friends would tell you? ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/327 "2018-08-27T12:10:59Z")
I would think that the first time someone even raises the spectre of groping, only to be told “Well, he was a tall guy, he’d have had to bend his knees to grope a little lady like you…here, hold this toilet roll tube at the level of yer cooter…” would also be the last time. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Librarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_librarian/32/402_2.png) [@The\_Librarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Librarian)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/328 "2018-08-27T12:19:22Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Very well, my answer is: no, I do not believe I project any sort of attitude that would discourage women from mentioning it were they to have been groped or harassed as they went about their daily activities. I would be completely open to any such comment from any woman I knew personally, and most likely to anyone relating such an account online. > > The women and girls I spoke of in post 320 date back to when I was around fifteen years old. It was at about that point that the young women who worked in my father’s business and the mothers of my friends began to open up and talk or joke with me about things related to sex. So any off-putting vibe would have to been in effect even at that young age and carry through to now, despite the fact that I’m not closed off or in any way someone who would react in a negative way to such a revelation. Are you sure? Your online persona very much projects an attitude that would discourage women from mentioning it were they to have been groped or harassed. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/329 "2018-08-27T14:09:42Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > For starters, sometimes people have done that because they didn’t know people could spike drinks, or because they trusted the people they’d left watching the drink. Yeah, sometimes it turns out the people you thought were your friends happen to be assholes. I like this answer. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Jane\_Elliot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jane_elliot/32/6166_2.png) [@Jane\_Elliot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_Elliot)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/330 "2018-08-27T15:37:59Z")
Weren’t Mollie Tibbetts, Vanessa Marcotte, Karina Vetrano and Ally Brueger just going about their daily lives when they were killed? Certainly an early morning jog is part of my daily life. I reject the notion that I’m somehow culpable because I choose to go outside my home alone. If I were to be attacked during a pre-dawn run I would be innocently going about my daily life when it happened. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/331 "2018-08-27T18:11:26Z")
> [@Jane\_Elliot](#): > > Weren’t Mollie Tibbetts, Vanessa Marcotte, Karina Vetrano and Ally Brueger just going about their daily lives when they were killed? Certainly an early morning jog is part of my daily life. I reject the notion that I’m somehow culpable because I choose to go outside my home alone. If I were to be attacked during a pre-dawn run I would be innocently going about my daily life when it happened. I bet you don’t wear a burqa when you run. Therefore anything that happens is your fault, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/332 "2018-08-27T18:54:10Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Not being a woman, Whoa. You’re a dude? I did not know that. You always seem to write so authoritatively from the female perspective. Huh. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/333 "2018-08-27T19:31:01Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > But I have never in all that time, and I repeat, _NEVER_, even once heard any of them complain about having been groped or harassed or assaulted even in a minor way, while innocently going about their day-to-day business. > > Not once! > > \ > > So I can’t help but think that these horror stories you keep raising about how women are constantly being assaulted and harassed are being blown out of proportion for the sake of effect and that the true risk is relatively minor, and that the instances of their having been reprimanded or accused of some sort of wrongful culpability in whatever happened to them is being exaggerated too. No one in my family and no one I know would behave that way toward any woman in our circle to whom any such thing happened. It would be unthinkable. Here we have the archetype, the distilled essence, the perfect embodiment, the veritable Platonic Ideal of the **Starving Artist** worldview: If it didn’t happen to me, and none of my friends told me about it, then it probably never happened, and is most likely a fable perpetrated by the liberals who have been destroying America since the 1950s. > [@kayaker](#): > > Whoa. You’re a dude? > > I did not know that. You always seem to write so authoritatively from the female perspective. Huh. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/334 "2018-08-27T22:09:04Z")
> [@Jane\_Elliot](#): > > Weren’t Mollie Tibbetts, Vanessa Marcotte, Karina Vetrano and Ally Brueger just going about their daily lives when they were killed? Yes. > [@Jane\_Elliot](#): > > Certainly an early morning jog is part of my daily life. I reject the notion that I’m somehow culpable because I choose to go outside my home alone. I don’t blame you. I’d reject such a notion too. Am I correct in assuming, according to your response, that I should heretofore never speak at all of anything whatever that might make a situation safer for a woman in any way whatsoever, lest I by implication be assigning her culpability in the event she should come to harm? And further, if everyone were to adopt this practice, how would anyone ever learn to recognize the potential for, or how to avoid, dangerous situations? Having said that, I think I’m done here. At this point there’s no point. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/335 "2018-08-27T22:14:07Z")
Bye Felicia. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/336 "2018-08-27T22:16:00Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Am I correct in assuming, according to your response, that I should heretofore never speak at all of anything whatever that might make a situation safer for a woman in any way whatsoever, lest I by implication be assigning her culpability in the event she should come to harm? I think this would be a good idea. Some others are probably capable of giving advice and ideas without the patronizing and victim-blaming that your posts reek of so often, but I don’t think you’re capable of it based on your posts. You just make things worse. Better just to stay silent, probably. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/337 "2018-08-27T22:19:01Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Whoa. You’re a dude? > > I did not know that. You always seem to write so authoritatively from the female perspective. Huh. –Golf clap–. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/338 "2018-08-27T22:23:03Z")
I’ll go ahead and challenge Starving Artist to try and find a single – just one – Doper woman who endorses his posts on this issue. There are tons of Doper women in this thread and many others. Can you find a single one to endorse your approach? ---
**Author:** ![Crazy\_Canuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazy_canuck/32/5282_2.png) [@Crazy\_Canuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazy_Canuck)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/339 "2018-08-27T22:26:56Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > I should heretofore never speak at all of anything whatever You got it! Glad to see you’re finally seeing the light. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2018, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817/340 "2018-08-27T22:38:34Z")
He’ll be back. He always is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-from-the-slut-shaming-is-the-way-we-live-deep-in-the-heart-of-texas-department/819817.md?page=18)