# And Here Come The Conspiracy Theories - Columbia Related **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 3, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565 "2003-02-03T19:22:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/21 "2003-02-04T13:34:41Z")
Nostradamous foresaw the shuttle disaster. The government has purchased all 942 quatrains with the hopes of divining future world events. Covering this up, the White House is. [You think I’m kidding](http://www.skepticnews.com/articles/03/02/01/1859219.shtml). ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/22 "2003-02-04T13:49:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JRDelirious \* > \*\*Then there’s this: > [http://www.biblenews1.com/history3/20030105STS107.htm](http://www.biblenews1.com/history3/20030105STS107.htm) > > F\*ing amazing… \*\* What sold me were the pictures of the doves. What are the odds? ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/23 "2003-02-04T13:59:24Z")
It wasn’t Oswald. It was one of the Illuminati. With pockets stuffed full of Chick tracts. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/24 "2003-02-04T14:02:15Z")
Once Phelp’s name starts being thrown around you know Chick ain’t to far behind. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/25 "2003-02-04T14:19:04Z")
Here’s a few more: Insiders at NASA planted explosives in the wheel wells timed to go off at re-entry. The Israeli astronaut sabotaged the shuttle in hopes of blaming it on the Arabs in order to get the US to destroy them (A cow-orker swears by this!). ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/26 "2003-02-04T14:37:05Z")
Ok, here’s one that is hitting kind of close to home (in that someone I know is actively spouting this crap) - “NASA intentionally let this happen so that they could claim, after the tragedy, that lack of budget dollars contributed to the unsafe conditions and garner more monetary support from the government, thereby saving all their jobs. Basically, NASA murdered these astronauts for money.” Yes, I asked this person if they had seen any black helicopters lately… You don’t want to know the answer. :rolleyes: Tell you what, though, now that I think about it - these kind of people scare me. They really do. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/27 "2003-02-04T14:48:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JRDelirious \* > \*\*Then there’s this: > [http://www.biblenews1.com/history3/20030105STS107.htm](http://www.biblenews1.com/history3/20030105STS107.htm) > > F\*ing amazing… \*\* Wow, someone had some time on their hands. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/28 "2003-02-04T15:14:16Z")
You ignorant fools. The Columbia was spreading [chemtrails.](http://www.carnicom.com/contrails.htm) Fearful that the crew would spill the beans about the government’s secret chemtrail plans, the Pentagon destroyed the shuttle. Of course, the White House is covering this up. ---
**Author:** ![Robb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a183cd/32.png) [@Robb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robb)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/29 "2003-02-04T15:31:03Z")
I’m not having any success in developing a conspiracy theory invovlving SUVs, though Firestone tires are a good start. Instead, I intend to elevate my importance by covering up the truth. To that end, I can confirm that one of the above theories is true, and that I am covering it up for the White House. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/30 "2003-02-04T15:31:32Z")
It wasn’t the Columbia at all! It was a reverse engineered spacecraft! The Columbia landed safely on January 29th at night! ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/31 "2003-02-04T15:47:24Z")
Here’s a horrible one that I’ve just come up with, that has a very remote chance of the possibility of containing a scintilla of truth: NASA bosses knew the Columbia was doomed just after takeoff. They had to choose between an abortive and unlikely rescue mission, a slow lingering death, or a fireball that created 7 heroes. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/32 "2003-02-04T15:58:01Z")
**jjimm** - spooky. ---
**Author:** ![Ashkicker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@Ashkicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashkicker)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/33 "2003-02-04T16:05:36Z")
I am suprised Michael Drosnin hasn’t come up and said it’s all spelled out in the Bible Code. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/34 "2003-02-04T16:09:43Z")
NASA knew there was a problem with the left wheel, so they decided to abort the landing in Florida and have the shuttle come down in the Atlantic, skipping the surface like a stone until a waiting Coast Guard vessel could pick up the astronauts. Unfortunately, the Religious Right was eavesdropping, but only heard the word “abort”. They got on their Hotline To God and asked that He smite the entire crew in a fiery ball of death as a little preview of what awaited them when they meet Satan. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/35 "2003-02-04T16:15:32Z")
Whacko Religious Theory Number Two: Allah was pissed that an infidel Israeli would dare invade his airspace, so he lit one of his farts on fire, blasting Columbia out of the sky. This obviously explains the “bright electrical phenomena flashing around the track of the shuttle’s passage” which was seen by that San Francisco amateur astronomer. ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/36 "2003-02-04T16:16:30Z")
Columbia struck one of the Apollo landing modules. NASA have been stacking them up in geo-stationary orbit over Houston for decades while pretending to go out into space. Everyone knows you can’t go into space because alien death rays turn you into radio-active ash as soon as you leave the planet. So it’s started to get kind of crowded up there and NASA have lost track of where they’re keeping them all. The White House thought they had covered this up, but I worked it out because, although I have done absolutely no research or study of the subject, I am so much smarter than just about everyone. Fools. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/37 "2003-02-04T16:44:19Z")
If we can work the reverse-vampires into this somehow we will be through the looking glass. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/38 "2003-02-04T16:55:47Z")
[Edited by the NSA] That’s right, and it’s all true! ! ! And the White House is covering it up. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/39 "2003-02-04T17:20:38Z")
Welp, I reckon that my cuzzin Jimbo was out shootin’ ducks outta season, an’ he jus’ dern misst an’ hit that big flyin’ bird. Cuzzin Dubya in the Big Whaat House is coverin’ for 'im. ---
**Author:** ![Asylum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@Asylum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asylum)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565/40 "2003-02-04T18:33:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JRDelirious \* > \*\*Then there’s this: > [http://www.biblenews1.com/history3/20030105STS107.htm](http://www.biblenews1.com/history3/20030105STS107.htm) > > F\*ing amazing… \*\* I think staring at the Sun gave those people brain damage. And not only are they coming up with wacky ideas but they’re also spreading misinformation: > [@](#): > > During Launch on January 16, a piece of insulating foam from the External Tank came off and hit the left wing of Columbia. Although thermal protection tiles have been lost on previous missions with no ill effects, this time it was different. As Columbia entered the Earth’s atmosphere, the tiles were needed to protect it from the intense heat of up to 3,000 degrees. I know. The clouds in the sky told them this was the cause of the Shuttle exploding and all other theories should be discounted. I’m telling you NASA’s wasting too much money on their investigation, they just need to get someone with bad eyesight to go bird watching to figure out all their problems. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-here-come-the-conspiracy-theories-columbia-related/152565.md?page=3)