# And I thought last Christmas was bad... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 13, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693 "2003-12-13T00:11:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Naz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e99b99/32.png) [@Naz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naz)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/21 "2003-12-15T05:16:58Z")
I wouldn’t presume to know what you’re going through, **LurkMeister** , but you’re in my thoughts all the same. As others here have mentioned, you’re a wonderful husband. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/22 "2003-12-15T06:09:26Z")
You have all the Sub-family’s best wishes, **LurkMeister** , from the bottoms of our hearts. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/23 "2003-12-15T13:28:24Z")
May the blessings of God be upon you. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Wrong_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/24 "2003-12-15T17:24:11Z")
You sound like a great guy, **Lurk**. You two are lucky to have each other. Keep us updated; I’ll be thinking about you this Christmas. Best wishes. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/25 "2003-12-15T17:43:57Z")
**LurkMeister** , my prayers are with you and your wife. She is blessed to have you. ---
**Author:** ![Irish\_Rogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e36b37/32.png) [@Irish\_Rogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irish_Rogue)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/26 "2003-12-15T22:16:05Z")
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/27 "2003-12-16T01:20:55Z")
I can’t imagine what it must be like for you. Physical illness is one thing but dementia makes it like you’re losing her while she’s still breathing. Nothing I can say will make it better. Good luck to you and I hope you get as much time with your wife as possible. ---
**Author:** ![GoHeels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@GoHeels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GoHeels)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/28 "2003-12-16T01:40:48Z")
**Lurk** , the love and devotion you show toward your wife is inspiring. I wish you and your wife the best. Please accept my best wishes and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![sulawesi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@sulawesi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sulawesi)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/29 "2003-12-16T05:05:39Z")
I’m sorry. I’ve been following your threads about your wife. I can’t imagine how unbelievably painful this must be for you. ☹ You’re a wonderful husband, and I hope you and your wife get through this. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/30 "2003-12-16T15:48:05Z")
I’m so sorry, **Lurkmeister.** I’ve been through a terminal illness of a loved one before, but added with the dementia, I’m not sure I could have gotten through it. You are a strong man, and a wonderful, loving husband. You are in our thoughts, and _please_ don’t hesitate to ask the board for ANYTHING you might need. ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/31 "2003-12-16T16:21:11Z")
_sigh_ Exhibiting this kind of fortitude, especially in the face of not even knowing you had it…is just…a really beautiful thing. THIS is what real men are made of. You’ll both have peace someday…and in the meantime, we’re here to think about fighting with you. I’m wishing good things come to you soon. You’re worth it. Lisa ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/32 "2003-12-21T02:00:18Z")
Thought I’d bump this with an update. The disorientation has gotten worse. More and more she talks about things that happened years ago as if they just happened, or says things that don’t make any sense at all, like “Maybe we should close the bookstore and open a restaurant,” or “I hope everybody still has their tickets.” She’s also been complaining of pain in her hip, which makes it difficult to turn her when she needs changing. When the nurse examined her yesterday, she said that it’s possible she somehow managed to crack her hip. If the pain is bad I’ve got morphine to supplement the Darvocet she gets every day. I was also given Haloperidol for agitation, although I haven’t had to use it yet. I have been able to get out occasionally, like seeing the midnight show of ROTK, and I was able to make arrangements so I’ll be able to spend Christmas Eve with friends and Christmas Day with my family. I talked to the hospice counsellor on the phone this past week, and am going to try and set up a home visit after the holidays. I may also make an appointment to see our doctor and discuss her condition. Thanks again to all for your good wishes and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/33 "2003-12-21T11:36:40Z")
I’m so very sorry that you both are suffering through this. Best wishes to you and your wife. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mullets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/aeb1de/32.png) [@John\_Mullets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mullets)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/34 "2003-12-21T11:50:14Z")
I’m sorry for the pain you and your wife have to go through in this dark period and I hope that things improve in the future. I am upset that I can do no more than well-wish. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/35 "2003-12-21T20:21:27Z")
I am so sorry…there just aren’t words. Your post brought me to tears. The tenderness you are showing is truly what marriage is all about… being there in the best of times, and the worst of times. My heart goes out to you and your wife. ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693/36 "2003-12-21T20:42:21Z")
I want to add my sentiments to the list here. I know how hard it is when a loved one has periods of dementia and something about the pain that you must be suffering. Both of my great-grandparents had Alzheimers (my grandfather has passed, but not his wife) and it’s very hard to deal with the emotional pain that results. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-last-christmas-was-bad/218693.md?page=1)