# And I thought my in-laws were crazy **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 25, 2011, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923 "2011-03-25T03:17:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/41 "2011-03-27T07:39:53Z")
> [@A.Gwilliam](#): > > Am I the only one here whose eyes glazed over as soon as they saw darkish grey text on a blackground?? > > What sort of idiot does this kind of thing? > > At least it’s readable if you zoom the text… {sigh} 's alright, gramps, we’ll find your glasses soon. In the meantime, I’ll help you get those whippersnappers off your lawn. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/42 "2011-03-27T08:12:25Z")
The whole dietary thing comes off to me as some sort of passive-aggressive drama thing. Forcing other people to spend an inordinate amount of energy worrying about YOUR NEEDS. Seriously? No white foods? Go fuck yourself. Oh wait, no. That might involve a certain WHITE fluid. Can’t have that now! ---
**Author:** ![A.Gwilliam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@A.Gwilliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.Gwilliam)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/43 "2011-03-27T10:03:15Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > The whole dietary thing comes off to me as some sort of passive-aggressive drama thing. Forcing other people to spend an inordinate amount of energy worrying about YOUR NEEDS. My mum, bless her, is a pain to cook (or arrange meals out) for. But she doesn’t go around expecting people to organise themselves around her (even though in fact you end up having to). I guess it’s a case of not what you do, but how you do it. > [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](#): > > 's alright, gramps, we’ll find your glasses soon. In the meantime, I’ll help you get those whippersnappers off your lawn. (Goes for a nice nap.) ---
**Author:** ![DangleYourModifier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@DangleYourModifier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DangleYourModifier)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/44 "2011-03-27T11:27:37Z")
I laughed out loud: > [@](#): > > Are you aware that your husband took a shit in my ficus tree? I can only assume that you are behind this. You disgust me. > Sincerely, > SIL ---
**Author:** ![nicole1912](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9de0a6/32.png) [@nicole1912](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nicole1912)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/45 "2011-03-27T11:36:07Z")
The lesbian porn one made me crack up - but this one might win prizes for outright insanity… > [@](#): > > Good Morning: > I wish with all of my Heart that I do not have to write this especially to the people with young but the “Time” has come. I Hearby declare an Emergency Family Meeting to take Place at our house after Church. (MIL) will make brunch . Revalations and the Mayans tell us that the End of Days is coming.December 21, 2012 is IT. If not it will be the start of Tribulation no doubt about it. **We need to figure out what to do between now and Then to get us ready for JC asuming we can survive the upcoming Nuclear war. Bring your ideas.** One thing we need to consider is a subterian shelter for WW3. We need to be quick because we wont know when the bombs will start. We need funding. Have ideas ready. I am starting to sellterresterial personal affects that we willprobably not be able to take into Heaven anyway. **(Do we want to sell the house? We can always rent if it is just Tribulation Time)**.We should make our money turn to Gold.We need to Pray on this. We need ideas. Let me know what is in your heart > Love, > FIL My favourite lines are the bolded ones. I love this website. My in-laws (and my parents) are kinda crazy, but it appears they could be oh, so much worse… ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/46 "2011-03-27T12:20:26Z")
This one deserves to be mentioned: > [@](#): > > SIL, > Are you aware that your husband took a shit in my ficus tree? I can only assume that you are behind this. You disgust me. > Sincerely, > SIL ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/47 "2011-03-27T13:07:40Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > The whole dietary thing comes off to me as some sort of passive-aggressive drama thing. Forcing other people to spend an inordinate amount of energy worrying about YOUR NEEDS. > > Seriously? No white foods? Go fuck yourself. Oh wait, no. That might involve a certain WHITE fluid. Can’t have that now! Yeah, sometime in the future my mother in law would be sending me an email asking why we never invite them for dinner. I’d be answering it with ‘your son isn’t a great cook.’ (My husband is a great cook and my mother in law knows better. But we did have - for a few years - my brother’s wife - the Whining Gluten Free Vegan. I have no issues with Vegetarians or Vegans. I do have issues with “salad? Why does everyone feed me salad? I get so tired of it.” ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/48 "2011-03-27T13:42:41Z")
Yeah, the ficus tree is just weird - why is she saying the wife is “behind” it? Like, did she egg him on to shit in the tree’s pot? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/49 "2011-03-27T15:25:42Z")
C’mon. Shit in the Ficus. You know you want to. C’mon. Just do it. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/50 "2011-03-27T15:32:42Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Yeah, the ficus tree is just weird - why is she saying the wife is “behind” it? Like, did she egg him on to shit in the tree’s pot? It’s really weird that she’d assume the wife was behind it. I mean c’mon, if someone has a brother they should be prepared for them to shit in a tree pot. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/51 "2011-03-27T15:41:36Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > It’s really weird that she’d assume the wife was behind it. I mean c’mon, if someone has a brother they should be prepared for them to shit in a tree pot. Really. If my brother were to shit in my ficus tree, I would be far more likely to think that my sil would bludgeon him to death when she found out than that she was behind it. Also, if someone was behind their husband shitting in someone’s ficus, I’m fairly certain they would already be aware that it had happened and thus wouldn’t need to be notified. ---
**Author:** ![breezilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@breezilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/breezilla)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/52 "2011-03-27T16:00:52Z")
> [@PeskiPiksi](#): > > Wow, I love the one from the MIL listing the FIL’s “food preferences” when invited over for dinner: > > Who \*does \*that? [Marney](http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2010/11/24/happy-thanksgiving-from-afp/) does. ☹ (Maybe I can pretend they’re the same person and it’ll make me feel better.) ---
**Author:** ![murphy05](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@murphy05](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/murphy05)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/53 "2011-03-27T17:12:53Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > It’s really weird that she’d assume the wife was behind it. I mean c’mon, if someone has a brother they should be prepared for them to shit in a tree pot. Maybe not the brother of the SIL author of the email, but the husband of the SIL author may be the brother of the shitting husband, which would make it make sense. haha. Too complicated. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/54 "2011-03-27T17:37:48Z")
I’m not real familiar with ficus trees - are the leaves good for wiping? mmm ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/55 "2011-03-27T18:21:00Z")
This was pretty awesome > [@](#): > > DIL, > I already told (your husband) and he said it was fine but I had to tell you. Well, I Hope you don’t mind but I took the kids out of school a little early today to spend some Quality Time with me. I picked today because I know they don’t have Dance or Soccer so you won’t be mad.I will have them home with homework done after dinner.I would have told you but you would have said no and its not Fair because they are my Pride and Joy. Oh I made you Apple Raisin Muffins for your breakfasts tomarrow. > LOVE, > MIL ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/56 "2011-03-27T19:15:12Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > The next time I see my inlaws I am going to thank them for not being insane. The more I read of this website the more I just want to send my mother in law a check or a pony or something for not being a nut. My thoughts exactly. Sure, she’s a little off her rocker - I’m just 24 and she’s asked for an ETA on popping out a baby. She once blamed me her washing machine not working on my Downy ball. But man, these people are of a \*totally \*different universe. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/57 "2011-03-27T19:42:02Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I’m not real familiar with ficus trees - are the leaves good for wiping? > mmm Not particularly - they’re pretty small. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/58 "2011-03-27T20:07:51Z")
“Oh shit, I think I hit ‘send’” > [@](#): > > Dearest Soon To Be Ex Family, > > Yeah. So, I got (MIL’s) Annual Christmas Evite. Sorry to disappoint you losers, but there is no way in hell I am going to ruin my Christmas for the 10th year in a row. So no. I won’t be in attendance. In fact I would rather make out with Dick Cheney than listen to (SIL) tell me how to raise my kid while sitting around the Christmas tree listening to Beach Boys Christmas (worst. album. ever. FYI). I’d rather give George Bush a handy than choke down another dry ass turkey while listening to (SIL) drone on about how awesome she is. I’d rather lick Glenn Beck’s asshole than listen to (BIL’s) hypocritical religious bullshit ramblings while he gets loaded and belligerent. So, no. I won’t be in attendance this year or ever again. And that is a true Christmas miracle worth celebrating. > > Happy Holidays, > SIL ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/59 "2011-03-27T21:42:18Z")
> [@breezilla](#): > > [Marney](http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2010/11/24/happy-thanksgiving-from-afp/) does. ☹ (Maybe I can pretend they’re the same person and it’ll make me feel better.) :eek: What the heck is a regulation-sized casserole? There’s a regulating authority for serving-ware?! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923/60 "2011-03-29T15:39:40Z")
> [@Darth\_Nader](#): > > “Oh shit, I think I hit ‘send’” No, I think this is “I’m divorcing your son, why in the hell do you think I still want to go to your Christmas party? I might have been deluded into thinking I liked your son, but I’ve NEVER liked you.” Read like that, its a lovely email. I sort of wish email would have been an established form of communication when my husband and I divorced. It would have been nice to tell my ex-mother in law that “no really, my opinion on a color for the bedroom I share with your son is more important than your opinion.” (Also, “it isn’t considered well behaved to take your son’s girlfriend on vacation with you before his wife is aware of her existence and before they are separated. But, hey, what’s a few months between in-laws when it comes to your son’s happiness?”) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-i-thought-my-in-laws-were-crazy/575923.md?page=4)