heh. A wonder the song hasn’t been commandeered by a feminine hygiene company.
My daughter’s first period happened when she was 11 years old. She had many older female friends who had recently been through it, so it was no surprise. She called me to discuss her situation (she always contacts me about “medical” stuff). I suggested she talk to her mother also, for the practical matters such as stocking up on “products”.
I remembered that you had posted this, but I didn’t know what to search for. Beautiful post.
Not yet (she wouldn’t dare) but I am getting the heavy sighs and the frustrated grrrs when I ask her to do something. It seems no matter what I ask, there’s something else she has to do first (eat, go to the bathroom, finish her homework, etc) that she can’t take two minutes and take the trash out, or take her laundry to her room.
I’m practicing The Look. I keep forgetting, but I need to start using it.
Ladies, tell me if you had this experience when you were growing up.
Was it not the absolute height of humiliation to be the last in your little clique of friends to get your period? There were five of us, and I was either third or fourth, but I was not last. And that was what was important.
My step-daughter’s mother asked her to please get off line as we had to make a telephone call. Nothing…no movement at all. She asked her again four times. Still nothing. I (ogre of the step-dad) went up to the computer and disconnected the telephone line. You can imagine the response that got. I said, “Well, since you were’nt doing as you were politely asked to we’ll have to set a limit on computer use. Starting now, you can be on-line for 1 hour a night.” Wailing and gnashing of teeth ensued. I said, “OK - 45 minutes. Would you like to try for 30 minutes?”
I didn’t think about the agony of being first. Do you think it was because you were so young? In my group, 13 seemed to be the norm. It was like, okay, I’ve blown out the 13 candles, where’s my boobies and the need to carry a purse to the bathroom?
Definitly the opposite for my group. I was the first - by several years. For getting boobs and my period. After hearing me whine about that stuff for so long, my girlfriends were not at all looking forward to their periods, and it wasn’t something to brag about. We didn’t really care.
Anywho, I clearly remember an elementary school gym class where I was nearly doubled over in pain from cramps, and the gym teacher didn’t believe me.
Me: “I need to sit this one out.”
Me: “My stomach really hurts.”
Her: “If you have the flu, you should go home.”
Me: “No, it’s not the flu…”
Her: “Well then, you need to join in.”
Me: “It’s cramps… (mumble mumble) female problems…”
Her: “No way. You’re too young for that. You can’t sit this out.”
I told my mum about it after school and the gym teacher got a very strongly worded letter about the incident.
Now, was I the only person who didn’t tell their mother about getting their first period til quite awhile after it happened? Like, several months? And you didn’t actually tell her, she just found your stockpile of pads/tampons and asked what was going on? Anyone?
It may be a parental thing, but I know that when I was thirteen, I would have died if my mother had discussed it with her friends. I’m not saying that Ivylass is doing anything wrong, but perhaps she should get her daughter’s permission first.
Just to keep in mind that while you like to brag about your kids, and wax nostalgia, your kids feelings about privacy count too.
(Hell, I didn’t even want my father to know. I bragged about it with my friends, and I’ve had to tell my teacher once when I got it the second time unprepared-but that was my choice.)
So as long as Ivydaughter doesn’t have a problem (you know your own child, of course), it probably isn’t a big deal. I’m just sayin’.
Yeah, it sucks to be one of the first. I had just turned 11 and was the tallest girl in the class (at about 5’3", but still). Boobs when you’re that young aren’t fun. Anyway, the upside is that I didn’t look like a freshman when I got to high school Also, I got used to being tall, which was a letdown when I stopped growing at 5’3 and a half.
Congratulations to your daughter, I’m sure she’ll get over the excitement pretty quickly when she realizes how much “fun” periods are.
My daughter would die of embarassment if I posted stuff like this about her here.
But I understand the impulse and share the sentiments.
amaranta --I also didn’t tell my mom because I was too embarassed. (we never had an easy or close relationship and we still don’t. Thank god things are different with me and my daughter).
My strongest memory was one of her refusing to buy me the pads that had the adhesive strips on them (these were very much new fangled in 1974)–she said they were too expensive and bought me a belt which looked like something out of the Gulag (still does, to my mind).
This is Barracuda, not MovingFinger (who wouldn’t know anything about this topic)
and I don’t remember a clique comparing ‘start days’. But I’ll never forget my first period - Palm Sunday, choir loft in church, white robe. My sister, who sat behind me, says that the spot on my tush was too small to notice, but you can be sure I didn’t think so. To this day when anyone says "My period started . . ., I blush and get all embarressed.
When I started my period, I did not stop being a little girl, and it would have killed me if anyone had told me I was a different person, just because I suddenly had a leaky vagina.
I was one of those kids who didn’t want to grow up and hated the idea of periods. It hurt me tremendously when I started bleeding a full year before my twin did. I thought I had done something bad, that I wasn’t somehow “innocent” enough. And no, it’s not my mother’s fault I felt like this. To my embarrassment, she started shedding tears of joy when I started. So I don’t know why I was so traumatized by it all.
I guess it’s cute people try to make the moment all magical and special, a cause for celebration. But sometimes a girl doesn’t want all the attention. Sometimes she just wants someone to tell her that her life hasn’t fundamentally changed and that she can still do all the silly little kid things she used to do. Even if it’s not all the way true.