# "...and no fag waiters." **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 5, 2004, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578 "2004-07-05T01:04:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/1 "2004-07-05T01:04:29Z")
Well, this is the latest gem to drop from my brother-in-law’s lips like venom from a cobra. I have never been to a family gathering where this racist, bigoted asshole hasn’t had something equally unpleasant to say about anyone who ain’t him. No topic is immune, regardless of how harmless. You want to talk about movies? Oh, he doesn’t go because of all the spics serving popcorn who might spit in his drink. How about mentioning how you went to the credit union on Friday…well, HE doesn’t bank there because there “isn’t a single white person working there.” When his impressionable grandson mentions how much he loves the NBA? “Well”, says he, “You know what “NBA” stands for don’t you?” and proceeds to enlighten us all. Every family gathering is the same for this asshole. The Ms. and I make a bet before every gathering as to how long into the event Mr. Wonderful will come up with his latest gem. Ya know, a person has to _work_ at generating this much hate for others. How my sister has stood it for 46 years is beyond my comprehension. He’s a smart guy. Used to be a teacher. Reads constantly and is a student of history. How then can he be so ignorant? But what I really can’t understand how he can live with himself when he poisons his grandchildrens’ minds. He knows better than to do it at my house, because I’d throw his sorry ass out. What a sorry, right wing, neo-nazi fuckwad this guy is. Thank you and goodnight. ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/2 "2004-07-05T01:15:12Z")
Jesus, hasn’t anyone called him on it? I can’t stand to be around people like that. I have to limit my time with my brother due to his use of the N word and general redneckery, but your brother-in-law sounds infinitely worse. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/3 "2004-07-05T01:17:47Z")
I think maybe you should tell him how you feel. Make the case you made here: “You used to be a teacher; you’re a smart guy. Read a lot. I’m curious why you have so much hate. I care about you and want to know the reason.” If he doesn’t warm up to this, at least make it clear that it’s not acceptable for him to say these things in front of young kids. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/4 "2004-07-05T01:18:12Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > But what I really can’t understand how he can live with himself when he poisons his grandchildrens’ minds. He knows better than to do it at my house, because I’d throw his sorry ass out. Because he doesn’t realize what an idiot he is. He believes he’s right and the rest of the entire planet is wrong. Sounds like my dead racist ex-boss. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/5 "2004-07-05T01:24:23Z")
You’re sister’s been married to him for _46 years_?? Without saying a word? I can’t believe they haven’t at least argued over that. Isn’t it possible she calls him on it when they’re alone? And, I know I’m going to regret asking this, but what exactly brought on the hate speech against gay restaurant staff? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/6 "2004-07-05T01:40:36Z")
It stands for “National Basketball Association.” Where’s the harm in that? Cut the poor guy a break. ---
**Author:** ![Windwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5e9695/32.png) [@Windwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Windwalker)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/7 "2004-07-05T01:43:12Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > When his impressionable grandson mentions how much he loves the NBA? “Well”, says he, “You know what “NBA” stands for don’t you?” and proceeds to enlighten us all. What does NBA stand for (in his eyes)? About the guy, have you thought about starting to make a scene when he lets fly his nastier comments? Letting it go unchallenged may let the kids involved know that this stuff is acceptable… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/8 "2004-07-05T01:58:15Z")
> [@Windwalker](#): > > What does NBA stand for (in his eyes)? I’m guessing that the first word will rhyme with “trigger”. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/9 "2004-07-05T02:01:47Z")
My father died at the age of 93, still spewing the same poison. I wish now I had severed all contact with him when I was eighteen. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/10 "2004-07-05T02:26:30Z")
Some people just make the choice to be poison mean. I’ve known several and all of 'em expended extraordinary effort to mirror their arid, bitter, scorched-earth souls onto others. They sure didn’t suffer their wretched bitterness in silence. The made a real point of spraying bile over anybody near 'em. I never understood what they got out of it, or what made them that way. It’s a bummer that he’s your BIL, **Chefguy**. Your sister is sort of the hostage, so it makes it tough to just sever all ties. If it helps any, my famously mild-mannered, non-cursing father finally halted a family bully by slewing around and calmly telling the bully to shut his damned mouth or my father would shut it for him. My even-more-mild-mannered uncle, his brother, just as calmly offered to “help with the son of a bitch.” Stunned silence ensued. Keep in mind the men in my family _never_ cussed, and didn’t allow others to do it in front of women or kids. I think the bully finally went over my dad and uncle’s line by spewing his bile in front of us kids. It was one of the absolute weirdest moments in my admittedly technicolor odd family. All of a sudden the bully had every single adult, women included, staring at him with flat, cold eyes. A minor revolution of sorts, in fact. He was still a jerk, and sniped a lot, particularly at my dad and uncle, but he was _much_ more muted about it. Maybe a united front approach could help? Veb ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/11 "2004-07-05T02:32:44Z")
While working out here in the Buckeye state carrying a John Kerry/Marcy Kaptur sign today at the 4th celebration, I had a man walk by with his young son and mutter “faggot loving liberals” loud enough for me, and certainly his son, to hear. Sometimes I feel so great about this country. And then sometimes I feel so depressed. But the reality is that the world is changing, and the bigots like these will inevtiably be carried off into history, out of reality. But god damn do I want Bush to lose just to stick it to that mean ass motherfucker who’s obviously poisoning that poor kid. Enough of this bullcrap already. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/12 "2004-07-05T02:51:53Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I’m guessing that the first word will rhyme with “trigger”. That was my first thought, but i couldn’t figure out anything for the B and the A to stand for if that were true. Nothing But Africans? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/13 "2004-07-05T03:05:41Z")
NBA = Nigger Basketball Association: this is the level of his witicisms. He believes himself to be vastly amusing and the ultimate judge of all around him. He abused his kids emotionally until they were old enough to tell him to fuck himself. There is now an uneasy alliance and his kids are wonderful people, but there is a hard, mean edge to their humor. They’re damaged goods. He smacked my sister around early in their marriage when he was still in the bottle. She came home to mama and he came after her. Busted into the house and threatened my mother. I came out of the bedroom with my shotgun, stuck it in his face, and said “You’re about to die, motherfucker!” Yes, it was melodramatic, but I was only like 14 or so at the time. My mother pulled me off. His latest comment came about because my sister was telling us how they went to a nice local restaurant last night for their anniversary. His comment was “I like it because the food is great, the service is good, and there are no fag waiters.” I’ve never known someone so full of hate and bile. He’s 70 years old and will die bitter and full of pus. I’ve avoided confrontation for the sake of my sister. She has deluded herself for all these years and actually thinks he’s a good man beneath all the horror. He laughs at any attempts to correct his behavior with this sneering, contemptuous snicker. I really think he’s the devil incarnate. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/14 "2004-07-05T03:06:31Z")
Nothing But Air? Naughty By Association? Nuts Butts Asses? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/15 "2004-07-05T03:08:46Z")
Nigerian Banker’s Association? ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/16 "2004-07-05T03:15:42Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > NBA = Nigger Basketball Association: this is the level of his witicisms. He believes himself to be vastly amusing and the ultimate judge of all around him. He abused his kids emotionally until they were old enough to tell him to fuck himself. There is now an uneasy alliance and his kids are wonderful people, but there is a hard, mean edge to their humor. They’re damaged goods. > > He smacked my sister around early in their marriage when he was still in the bottle. She came home to mama and he came after her. Busted into the house and threatened my mother. I came out of the bedroom with my shotgun, stuck it in his face, and said “You’re about to die, motherfucker!” Yes, it was melodramatic, but I was only like 14 or so at the time. My mother pulled me off. > > His latest comment came about because my sister was telling us how they went to a nice local restaurant last night for their anniversary. His comment was “I like it because the food is great, the service is good, and there are no fag waiters.” > > I’ve never known someone so full of hate and bile. He’s 70 years old and will die bitter and full of pus. I’ve avoided confrontation for the sake of my sister. She has deluded herself for all these years and actually thinks he’s a good man beneath all the horror. > > He laughs at any attempts to correct his behavior with this sneering, contemptuous snicker. I really think he’s the devil incarnate. What a royal prick! I’m so sorry you have to deal with such a waste of flesh. I seriously hope that karma bites him on the ass in his next life. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/17 "2004-07-05T06:55:04Z")
I would have him killed. Not only does he deserve it, but your family gatherings will be much more pleasant. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/18 "2004-07-05T06:59:23Z")
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry… I feel for your sister, but I feel worse for this guy. Sooner or later he’s going to figure out that hating everyone that doesn’t look or think like him hasn’t really done a lot for him. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/19 "2004-07-05T07:13:00Z")
> [@Really Not All That Bright](#): > > Sooner or later he’s going to figure out that . . . “Sooner or later”??? The guy’s lived 70 years of pure ignorance, I think his “figuring out” days are long gone. But I do want to chime in and say that this is currently my favorite Thread title! 🙂 Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a restaurant that actually put this on a sign in their window? :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2004, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578/20 "2004-07-05T07:14:32Z")
> [@Really Not All That Bright](#): > > Jerry, Jerry, Jerry… > > I feel for your sister, but I feel worse for this guy. Sooner or later he’s going to figure out that hating everyone that doesn’t look or think like him hasn’t really done a lot for him. If he hasn’t figured it out in 70 years does he have much hope? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-no-fag-waiters/253578.md?page=2)