# And Now Chris Hardwick \[domestic abuse allegations\]
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153
**Category:** Great Debates
**Created:** [June 15, 2018, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153 "2018-06-15T15:28:07Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 13
### Author:  [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/241 "2018-06-18T01:25:42Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#):
>
> Okay, I’m done. Carry on in support of rape culture – obviously you’re not interested in fighting against it. Let me know if you decide that you think it’s actually important to make it easier for victims and survivors to come forward, rather than continue on in support of the status quo that makes it so fucking difficult.
When did she accuse him of rape or sexual assault? Clearly you are reacting to things that are not a part of her story. And you are putting words in several other people’s mouths including mine. Questioning her motives is exactly what a sane person does, and not drawing a conclusion until both sides have been heard is entirely reasonable. You seem to think an accuser would never lie. My what a simple world you must live in.
---
### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/242 "2018-06-18T01:35:40Z")
The part where she said
> [@](#):
>
> By this time, like I said, I was terrified to piss him off- so I did what he said.
>
> …Including let him sexually assault me. Regularly. I was expected to be ready for him when he came home from work.
>
> How did this happen? At the beginning of our relationship, I was quite ill often due to my diet, something I’ll get to in a bit. One night he initiated, and I said, “I’m so sorry, can we not tonight? I’m feeling really sick.” He responded, “I just want to remind you, the reason my last relationship didn’t work out was because of the lack of sex.” It was a veiled threat. I succumbed.
>
> Every night, I laid there for him, occasionally in tears. He called it “starfishing”. He thought the whole idea was funny. To be fair, I did go along with it out of fear of losing him. I’m still recovering from being sexually used (not in a super fun way) for three years.
And this is your cue to say “if she let him, how could it be assault?”
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### Author:  [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/243 "2018-06-18T01:42:32Z")
> [@Biffster](#):
>
> Questioning her motives is exactly what a sane person does.
No. Questioning motives is what a thorough official investigation does. A sane person sides with the victim until there is good reason not to.
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### Author:  [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/244 "2018-06-18T02:24:55Z")
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> The part where she said
>
> And this is your cue to say “if she let him, how could it be assault?”
Well, it does beg the question. Many couples do it when only one party is really interested. That does not constitute sexual assault.
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### Author:  [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/245 "2018-06-18T02:26:40Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#):
>
> No. Questioning motives is what a thorough official investigation does. A sane person sides with the victim until there is good reason not to.
Alleged victim. It’s nice to know that people never lie in your world and that a person with a story to tell will be believed regardless of whether the story is true or not. Very empowering.
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### Author:  [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/246 "2018-06-18T02:37:59Z")
I don’t have to say “alleged”, I am not a member of the Media. And I did say I beliieve and support her until I have reason not to. That means if it turns out she is lying, I will adjust my position.
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### Author:  [@Covfefe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covfefe)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/247 "2018-06-18T02:49:44Z")
What if both members of a former couple accused each other of abuse around the same time and maintained their own innocence, does it make sense to believe anyone right away?
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### Author:  [@Batano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batano)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/248 "2018-06-18T03:19:29Z")
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> The part where she said
>
> And this is your cue to say “if she let him, how could it be assault?”
In this case, yes. The threat was to break off the relationship. Not much of a threat. Let me fuck you when ever I want or this sicko relationship is over. Gives her a nice out.
God knows there are enough times when women are in coercive siuations. This doesn’t seem to be one of them. She chose this guy knowing from the very start he was a controlling asshole. She admits she has “daddy issues” which is the passive way of saying she pursued a relationship with a power imbalance. She got more than she bargained for, but maybe she’ll learn from her mistake and not date another asshole.
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### Author:  [@Batano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batano)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/249 "2018-06-18T03:24:22Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#):
>
> No. Questioning motives is what a thorough official investigation does. A sane person sides with the victim until there is good reason not to.
(ETA to make this clear)
What if I were to post:
Please stop sending me threatening PMs.
---
### Author:  [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/250 "2018-06-18T03:54:14Z")
> [@Batano](#):
>
> (ETA to make this clear)
>
> What if I were to post:
>
> Please stop sending me threatening PMs.
I would say: Contact the Mods.
I don’t know what this is about, I’m not messaging anybody.
Oh, I get it. False accusation. Haha.
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### Author:  [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/251 "2018-06-18T04:09:56Z")
> [@Batano](#):
>
> (ETA to make this clear)
>
> What if I were to post:
>
> Please stop sending me threatening PMs.
> [@GuanoLad](#):
>
> Oh, I get it. False accusation. Haha.
If you did this to someone, out of any context, then I hope that most people would trust you were telling the truth. People have lied this way before, and they eventually get weeded out when more facts come to light.
Some people do lie when they accuse, but it’s about 2% - 5% of the time. If there’s a 95% likelihood they’re telling the truth, I will take those odds.
When it’s he-said, she-said, that’s not a 50% even split likelihood the victim is lying, that’s still just 5%.
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### Author:  [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/252 "2018-06-18T04:54:07Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#):
>
> If you did this to someone, out of any context, then I hope that most people would trust you were telling the truth. People have lied this way before, and they eventually get weeded out when more facts come to light.
>
> Some people do lie when they accuse, but it’s about 2% - 5% of the time. If there’s a 95% likelihood they’re telling the truth, I will take those odds.
>
> When it’s he-said, she-said, that’s not a 50% even split likelihood the victim is lying, that’s still just 5%.
That’s all fine and dandy playing those odds, until you’re the one being falsely accused.
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### Author:  [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/253 "2018-06-18T05:07:25Z")
> [@Biffster](#):
>
> That’s all fine and dandy playing those odds, until you’re the one being falsely accused.
…welcome to real fucking life.
If you want the freedom to be able to live in society you have to run the risk of one day being “falsely accused” of something.
Do you remember what #metoo was all about?
It was about women sharing their experiences with sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape.
Nearly every woman has a story.
Can we do that for men?
I’m a guy. I’ve never been falsely accused. Not nearly every man has a close encounter with a “false accusation.” It isn’t even close.
We can’t conflate the two. Its disingenuous to bring it up here. There is no evidence that Dyktra is making a false accusation, just as we don’t have any evidence that Hardwick is offering a “false defense”. We have her story, we have Hardwick’s. We have the stories of the people who knew them both.
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### Author:  [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/254 "2018-06-18T05:10:46Z")
> [@cgg419](#):
>
> So why side with anyone, unless objective facts come to light?
Because statistically, it’s much more likely to be abuse than a false accusation of abuse?
That’s why I say I believe her, at any rate.
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### Author:  [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/255 "2018-06-18T05:15:04Z")
> [@Covfefe](#):
>
> What is the context of Dykstra saying she knows Deen isn’t that kind of person? Did she freely volunteer that?
Yes. That’s how twitter works.
> [@](#):
>
> Did someone press her to comment on him?
It’s twitter, not a live interview, so no, she was not pressed into comment. She could have kept her tweethole shut, or gone with something non-commital, if she didn’t want to outright post an “I believe her”.
> [@](#):
>
> Did she only say it once?
Her subsequent actions spoke louder than words.
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### Author:  [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/256 "2018-06-18T05:19:35Z")
> [@Biffster](#):
>
> That’s all fine and dandy playing those odds, until you’re the one being falsely accused.
You’re the second person to pose this at me, I got it on Twitter too, and both he and you seem to be under the false impression that I would think I should react negatively. I would be upset, of course, and try to prove my innocence, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the majority didn’t believe me at first. Absolutely if this affected my life negatively it would suck donkey dick, but I’d just have to weather it until it got sorted out.
On the other hand, if I was guilty of what I was accused of, that’s another situation altogether.
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### Author:  [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/257 "2018-06-18T05:45:02Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#):
>
> …welcome to real fucking life.
>
> If you want the freedom to be able to live in society you have to run the risk of one day being “falsely accused” of something.
>
> Do you remember what #metoo was all about?
>
> It was about women sharing their experiences with sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape.
>
> Nearly every woman has a story.
>
> Can we do that for men?
>
> I’m a guy. I’ve never been falsely accused. Not nearly every man has a close encounter with a “false accusation.” It isn’t even close.
>
> We can’t conflate the two. Its disingenuous to bring it up here. There is no evidence that Dyktra is making a false accusation, just as we don’t have any evidence that Hardwick is offering a “false defense”. We have her story, we have Hardwick’s. We have the stories of the people who knew them both.
Say I believe his story. That makes her story a false accusation and she shouldn’t be spreading it. #metoo is not about women having the right to create bullshit accusations; it’s about the right to be heard, provided the stories are true. Well, Chloe has been heard and I’m not finding her story convincing. Nonetheless, it’s enough for the powers that be at AMC to shitcan Chris Hardwick, all because of bullshit politics. Yes, there is something wrong with this picture, and you’re not helping the #metoo movement by advocating for a lack of credibility. The story should have been investigated more thoroughly before conclusions were drawn.
---
### Author:  [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/258 "2018-06-18T05:59:31Z")
> [@Biffster](#):
>
> Say I believe his story. That makes her story a false accusation and she shouldn’t be spreading it.
No, it means you believe she is lying. Nothing more than your own personal conclusion.
> [@Biffster](#):
>
> #metoo is not about women having the right to create bullshit accusations; it’s about the right to be heard, provided the stories are true. Well, Chloe has been heard and I’m not finding her story convincing.
Okay. Nobody’s saying you’re wrong. Or right. Pick a side. Or don’t. You seem to be angry that other people aren’t on your side.
> [@Biffster](#):
>
> Nonetheless, it’s enough for the powers that be at AMC to shitcan Chris Hardwick, all because of bullshit politics.
No they didn’t. His shows are under review as they investigate.
> [@Biffster](#):
>
> Yes, there is something wrong with this picture, and you’re not helping the #metoo movement by advocating for a lack of credibility. The story should have been investigated more thoroughly before conclusions were drawn.
Conclusions have not yet been drawn.
---
### Author:  [@Batano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batano)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/259 "2018-06-18T06:01:48Z")
> [@Quimby](#):
>
> I am curious what the people who think she is lying think she stands to gain from making this up? She already had fame in her circle. All this does is invite attack and people calling her “loathsome” and worse. She literally has no reason to make this up.
I don’t think she is lying, I just don’t think she is a victim.
---
### Author:  [@Batano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batano)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2018, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/260 "2018-06-18T06:06:09Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#):
>
> You’re the second person to pose this at me, I got it on Twitter too, and both he and you seem to be under the false impression that I would think I should react negatively. I would be upset, of course, and try to prove my innocence, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the majority didn’t believe me at first. Absolutely if this affected my life negatively it would suck donkey dick, but I’d just have to weather it until it got sorted out.
>
> On the other hand, if I was guilty of what I was accused of, that’s another situation altogether.
You’d make a great martyr. Can I get a front row seat to your canonization?
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