# And Now Chris Hardwick \[domestic abuse allegations\]
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153
**Category:** Great Debates
**Created:** [June 15, 2018, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153 "2018-06-15T15:28:07Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 27
### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/521 "2018-07-11T18:11:06Z")
> [@Slash1972](#):
>
> Not sure. But how does asking that humiliate her? If anything, it humiliates himself, by showing people he is a jerk.
No, it shows she’s worthless. There’s a world of cultural baggage here: the words we use for women who let themselves be used as sex objects are not flattering: slut, whore, gold-digger, easy, etc. There’s no insulting word for a man who uses a woman as a sex object. Second, we put the responsibility on the woman to stop that sort of thing: she “lets” him. An inherently virtuous woman would be capable of commanding respect. That she can’t shows something lacking in her, not him.
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### Author:  [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/522 "2018-07-11T18:12:58Z")
> [@MandaJo](#):
>
> No, it shows she’s worthless.
And this is where we disagree. At most, it shows that HE thinks she is worthless. Which again shows how much of a jerk he is.
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### Author:  [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/523 "2018-07-11T18:14:55Z")
> [@MandaJo](#):
>
> There’s no insulting word for a man who uses a woman as a sex object.
Also, I’m sure there are insulting words that you yourself would use for a man who uses a woman as a sex object.
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### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/524 "2018-07-11T18:17:24Z")
> [@Slash1972](#):
>
> And this is where we disagree. At most, it shows that HE thinks she is worthless. Which again shows how much of a jerk he is.
So you would tell her that since they are merely vestiges of an outdated cultural paradigm that neither she nor her mother nor her doctor should embrace, she needs to dismiss her feeling of shame and humiliation as irrational and that she can’t hold him accountable for feelings she shouldn’t be having in the first place?
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### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/525 "2018-07-11T18:18:41Z")
> [@Slash1972](#):
>
> Also, I’m sure there are insulting words that you yourself would use for a man who uses a woman as a sex object.
None that are specific to that scenario: just generic insults. But slut, whore, easy, gold-digger, etc. are hyper-specific to that behavior and then have been extended out as more generic insults.
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### Author:  [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/526 "2018-07-11T18:37:30Z")
> [@MandaJo](#):
>
> So you would tell her that since they are merely vestiges of an outdated cultural paradigm that neither she nor her mother nor her doctor should embrace, she needs to dismiss her feeling of shame and humiliation as irrational and that she can’t hold him accountable for feelings she shouldn’t be having in the first place?
I wouldn’t tell her anything, since telling people how they are supposed to feel isn’t my business. I personally wouldn’t think less of her for some assholic shit that HE says. I would think less of him.
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### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/527 "2018-07-11T18:40:20Z")
> [@Slash1972](#):
>
> I wouldn’t tell her anything, since telling people how they are supposed to feel isn’t my business. I personally wouldn’t think less of her for some assholic shit that HE says. I would think less of him.
But if he understands that her mom and doctor will think less of her, that she will feel shame and humiliation (mixed with the physical pain of the operation), do you feel that contains elements of abuse–especially if it’s part of a context of similar behaviors?
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### Author:  [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/528 "2018-07-11T18:47:21Z")
> [@MandaJo](#):
>
> But if he understands that her mom and doctor will think less of her, that she will feel shame and humiliation (mixed with the physical pain of the operation), do you feel that contains elements of abuse–especially if it’s part of a context of similar behaviors?
Why would he understand that? I doubt he even cared what the mom and doctor thought. Plus, that seems quite derogatory towards the mom and doctor. I can’t possibly be the only one who wouldn’t think less of her, so why would you think the mom and doctor would?
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### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/529 "2018-07-11T19:12:06Z")
This whole thread is people thinking less of her because of how she let him treat her. I can’t imagine any one so clueless that he wouldn’t realize that would humiliate her.
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### Author:  [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/530 "2018-07-11T19:21:54Z")
> [@MandaJo](#):
>
> This whole thread is people thinking less of her because of how she let him treat her. I can’t imagine any one so clueless that he wouldn’t realize that would humiliate her.
Not clueless. Just didn’t care. It’s clear that he didn’t care about her feelings or her worth as a person. I doubt he cared what her mom or doctor thought as well. I would bet that if the doctor or her mom asked him right at that moment “Do you know how that makes her feel?” he would say “I don’t care”
This subtopic will probably remain as a disagreement, because I honestly don’t see how what he asks humiliates her. I know that you are trying to explain it, but I’m just not getting it.
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### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/531 "2018-07-11T21:00:13Z")
> [@Slash1972](#):
>
> Not clueless. Just didn’t care. It’s clear that he didn’t care about her feelings or her worth as a person. I doubt he cared what her mom or doctor thought as well. I would bet that if the doctor or her mom asked him right at that moment “Do you know how that makes her feel?” he would say “I don’t care”
>
> This subtopic will probably remain as a disagreement, because I honestly don’t see how what he asks humiliates her. I know that you are trying to explain it, but I’m just not getting it.
So abuse has to be intentional? If he knew it hurt her but didn’t care, I don’t see how that makes it less abusive.
Try this: imagine in front of your dad and a respected outsider that you have a close relationship with (clergyman? admired professor?), your good friend says something really gross and sexually explicit about your wife or mother and that you, for whatever reason, feel like you can’t react, and you know the other two will follow your lead–if you aren’t going to call him out on it, they won’t because he’s your friend.
Would that make you feel humiliated?
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### Author:  [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/532 "2018-07-11T22:21:09Z")
> [@Slash1972](#):
>
> Not clueless. Just didn’t care. It’s clear that he didn’t care about her feelings or her worth as a person. I doubt he cared what her mom or doctor thought as well. I would bet that if the doctor or her mom asked him right at that moment “Do you know how that makes her feel?” he would say “I don’t care”
>
> This subtopic will probably remain as a disagreement, because I honestly don’t see how what he asks humiliates her. I know that you are trying to explain it, but I’m just not getting it.
What he allegedly asked. He might have a very different recollection of the conversation. I’m not saying she’s lying exactly—it’s a question of where you put the emphasis. From her description, he certainly sounds like a douche. But also, maybe that’s not what was said or how anyone said it.
She should really release these private pics and vids she supposedly has.
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### Author:  [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/533 "2018-07-11T22:26:34Z")
> [@Biffster](#):
>
> What he allegedly asked. He might have a very different recollection of the conversation. I’m not saying she’s lying exactly—it’s a question of where you put the emphasis. From her description, he certainly sounds like a douche. But also, maybe that’s not what was said or how anyone said it.
>
> She should really release these private pics and vids she supposedly has.
Why? So you can get your kicks off of her humiliation?
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### Author:  [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/534 "2018-07-11T22:30:45Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#):
>
> Why? So you can get your kicks off of her humiliation?
Nope. So that she can prove some of this alleged abuse. She’s the one that threatened to come forward with it if he dared to sue her. Sure sounds like blackmail material to me. How do you solve the she said/he said impasse without evidence beyond testimonies?
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### Author:  [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/535 "2018-07-11T22:42:59Z")
I literally don’t know who Chris Hardwick is.
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### Author:  [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/536 "2018-07-11T23:27:56Z")
> [@MandaJo](#):
>
> So abuse has to be intentional? If he knew it hurt her but didn’t care, I don’t see how that makes it less abusive.
>
> Try this: imagine in front of your dad and a respected outsider that you have a close relationship with (clergyman? admired professor?), your good friend says something really gross and sexually explicit about your wife or mother and that you, for whatever reason, feel like you can’t react, and you know the other two will follow your lead–if you aren’t going to call him out on it, they won’t because he’s your friend.
>
> Would that make you feel humiliated?
Actually no, I wouldn’t feel humiliated. I’d be pissed at my good friend. What he says has no bearing on my thoughts about myself, only my thoughts about him. In fact, the only two people I can think of whose words or actions would humiliate me are my kids, since they directly reflect the way I’ve raised them. Anybody else? Nah.
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### Author:  [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)
#### Post date: [July 11, 2018, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/537 "2018-07-11T23:42:40Z")
> [@Biffster](#):
>
> … She’s the one that threatened to come forward with it if he dared to sue her. Sure sounds like blackmail material to me…
“If you decide to sue me for slander I will be able to prove otherwise” sounds exactly nothing like blackmail to me. YMOV.
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### Author:  [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2018, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/538 "2018-07-12T00:10:41Z")
> [@andros](#):
>
> “If you decide to sue me for slander I will be able to prove otherwise” sounds exactly nothing like blackmail to me. YMOV.
Well, if she’s got the goods, why not share it? It might stop people from doubting her. She’s already decided to try this case in the court of public opinion anyway. Why hold back?
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### Author:  [@Doubticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doubticus)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2018, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/539 "2018-07-12T00:13:16Z")
I’ve been a long time Chris Hardwick fan, listened to his podcast since 2011, watched his comedy show @Midnight on comedy central and seen his standup routine twice. In fact, because of him I became aware of Chloe and started following her on Twitter and enjoyed her work on the Syfy show “Heroes of Cosplay” and her work at other locations. As such I was saddened when Chris announced an end to their relationship, he was glum but asked that people respect his and her privacy while they moved on from each other.
Having read Chloe’s account and having listened to hours of Chris opining on life and women’s issues, I would say Chloe’s portrayal of Chris as a serial abuser runs counter to everything he has ever expressed in public and to other people he has as friends and other women he has dated. He has talked about his anxiety and his obsessive compulsive behavior in the past and given the vast age and earning ability of the two I can see where Chloe felt she didn’t have a say in the relationship.
Chris has talked about the human tendency to make light of tragic situations as a means of coping. I don’t think he was serious when he asked the doctor “when can we have sex again?” in front of her mother. I think he was doing a parody of an extremely insensitive person as a joke, admittedly a poor one.
I only found one accusation that I thought rose to the level of illegal activity and that would be one about getting her blackballed out of the industry. Looking though Twitter someone else had pointed out that she had put that blame prior on a women she was close friends with. There are topless pictures of Chloe on the internet that she took herself, and I don’t post that to slut shame her, that is her business and that shouldn’t diminish her ability to protest against sexual abuse. But the people following her at the time said she was posted them as a way to blackmail her rich father into paying for her housing.
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### Author:  [@Chisquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chisquirrel)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2018, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/540 "2018-07-12T00:34:19Z")
> [@Biffster](#):
>
> Well, if she’s got the goods, why not share it? It might stop people from doubting her. She’s already decided to try this case in the court of public opinion anyway. Why hold back?
Given that at least one person in this thread who doubts her has insinuated she was only after him for his money, I don’t think she cares what people like that think.
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