# And Now Chris Hardwick \[domestic abuse allegations\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [June 15, 2018, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153 "2018-06-15T15:28:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 28
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/541 "2018-07-12T01:55:36Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > Nope. So that she can prove some of this alleged abuse. She’s the one that threatened to come forward with it if he dared to sue her. Sure sounds like blackmail material to me. How do you solve the she said/he said impasse without evidence beyond testimonies? And once again, why does she need to prove this to you? What gives you - in the legal term - standing - to make such an intensely personal request of her. What she is doing is letting Hardwick know that if he sues her, she’ll have evidence. But she is by no means obligated to make her humiliation a public spectacle at this point because YOU want to be assured she was humiliated. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/542 "2018-07-12T02:49:34Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Actually no, I wouldn’t feel humiliated. I’d be pissed at my good friend. What he says has no bearing on my thoughts about myself, only my thoughts about him. In fact, the only two people I can think of whose words or actions would humiliate me are my kids, since they directly reflect the way I’ve raised them. Anybody else? Nah. That just sounds like you have a different opinion of what humiliation means than most people. What he revealed would harm your reputation and make it harder for you to go out in public. That would be humiliating by most people’s standards. ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/543 "2018-07-12T02:51:29Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > And once again, why does she need to prove this to you? What gives you - in the legal term - standing - to make such an intensely personal request of her. > > What she is doing is letting Hardwick know that if he sues her, she’ll have evidence. But she is by no means obligated to make her humiliation a public spectacle at this point because YOU want to be assured she was humiliated. You’re right. She’s probably bluffing. ---
**Author:** ![Chisquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Chisquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chisquirrel)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/544 "2018-07-12T02:57:41Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > You’re right. She’s probably bluffing. That’s what you got out of that? That’s she’s lying, because she won’t publicly embarrass and debase herself at YOUR demand? How have you come to have such despicable views on abuse survivors? ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/545 "2018-07-12T04:13:26Z")
> [@Chisquirrel](#): > > That’s what you got out of that? That’s she’s lying, because she won’t publicly embarrass and debase herself at YOUR demand? > > How have you come to have such despicable views on abuse survivors? How is it my demand? She’s the one that made the threat to go public with pics and vids. Why make the threat if she’s not prepared to go forward with it? Good god, ya’ll, get over yourself. I could personally care less, except that a possibly innocent person’s character is being maligned. If she’s prepared to come forward with evidence, she should do it. Or else not make threats. ---
**Author:** ![Chisquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Chisquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chisquirrel)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/546 "2018-07-12T05:54:51Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > How is it my demand? She’s the one that made the threat to go public with pics and vids. Why make the threat if she’s not prepared to go forward with it? Good god, ya’ll, get over yourself. I could personally care less, except that a possibly innocent person’s character is being maligned. If she’s prepared to come forward with evidence, she should do it. Or else not make threats. That’s crazy, it’s like some of us might feel a different “possibly innocent person’s character is being maligned.” ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/547 "2018-07-12T06:15:58Z")
> [@Chisquirrel](#): > > That’s crazy, it’s like some of us might feel a different “possibly innocent person’s character is being maligned.” You’re certainly entitled to feel that way. Except that he’s not the one making the threat. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/548 "2018-07-12T09:37:28Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > How is it my demand? She’s the one that made the threat to go public with pics and vids. Why make the threat if she’s not prepared to go forward with it? Good god, ya’ll, get over yourself. I could personally care less, except that a possibly innocent person’s character is being maligned. If she’s prepared to come forward with evidence, she should do it. Or else not make threats. Thank God people like you are here to tell all those silent victims out there that they are likely to be attacked if they choose to speak out and tell their story in the way they’re most comfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/549 "2018-07-12T13:09:13Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > That just sounds like you have a different opinion of what humiliation means than most people. What he revealed would harm your reputation and make it harder for you to go out in public. That would be humiliating by most people’s standards. How would it harm MY reputation? How would it make it harder for me to go out in public? I’m honestly not getting it. Somebody else says something crass, and somehow that harms MY reputation? ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/550 "2018-07-12T14:55:05Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Thank God people like you are here to tell all those silent victims out there that they are likely to be attacked if they choose to speak out and tell their story in the way they’re most comfortable. Get a grip. The only person who’s been attacked here is Chris Hardwick. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/551 "2018-07-12T15:03:38Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > Get a grip. The only person who’s been attacked here is Chris Hardwick. No, I’m talking about your multiple attacks on Dykstra. ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/552 "2018-07-12T16:02:19Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > No, I’m talking about your multiple attacks on Dykstra. I have not attacked Dykstra even once, unless you think questioning her story is an attack. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/553 "2018-07-12T22:20:35Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > No, I’m talking about your multiple attacks on Dykstra. > [@Biffster](#): > > I have not attacked Dykstra even once, unless you think questioning her story is an attack. There does seem to be a position being advanced to the effect that ‘failing to accept an accusation as unquestionably true = an attack on the accuser.’ This does not serve justice. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2018, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/554 "2018-07-12T22:54:53Z")
Implied dishonesty is indeed an attack: > [@Biffster](#): > > Making a false accusation would be “doing something wrong.” If she has nothing to substantiate her claim against this “anonymous” person from her past, then she shouldn’t be making a claim. It’s someone’s livelihood she’s playing with, and if it turns out she’s not being truthful, no amount of sorry’s will make AMC unfire Chris Hardwick. That’s what I’m saying, and that is in no way an attack on Ms. Dykstra. > [@Biffster](#): > > Say I believe his story. That makes her story a false accusation and she shouldn’t be spreading it. #metoo is not about women having the right to create bullshit accusations; it’s about the right to be heard, provided the stories are true. Well, Chloe has been heard and I’m not finding her story convincing. Nonetheless, it’s enough for the powers that be at AMC to shitcan Chris Hardwick, all because of bullshit politics. Yes, there is something wrong with this picture, and you’re not helping the #metoo movement by advocating for a lack of credibility. The story should have been investigated more thoroughly before conclusions were drawn. > [@Biffster](#): > > From what I read of her account, this sounds like it was a relationship between two consenting adults. He may be an asshole, but that doesn’t mean he did anything illegal, whomever “he” happens to be. I think she needs to first of all clarify about whom she is making allegations. Otherwise it’s just grandstanding. > [@Biffster](#): > > IF she’s telling the truth. Why do you assume she is? Is there any corroboration to her version of events? She doesn’t even name her abuser, which strikes me as odd. He denies any abuse. It’s a she said/he said story. Did she accuse him of anything illegal? Wanting to limit her contact with other males may be a dickish move (if it happened) but it is not illegal. Sounds like a relationship between two consenting adults that went sour. What does she wish to accomplish by making her story public? I have absolutely no problem with refraining from judgment. I have a problem with implying dishonesty when there’s no reason to believe so for those coming forward with personal stories of abuse. Society is so horribly tilted against victims that it’s the duty of every decent person to _not_ attack, even through implied dishonesty, those coming forward with stories. If they’re lying then the evidence will come out. But don’t make it harder for others to come forward by attacking someone when there’s no reason to believe they’re being dishonest. ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2018, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/555 "2018-07-13T00:27:35Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Implied dishonesty is indeed an attack: > > I have absolutely no problem with refraining from judgment. I have a problem with implying dishonesty when there’s no reason to believe so for those coming forward with personal stories of abuse. Society is so horribly tilted against victims that it’s the duty of every decent person to _not_ attack, even through implied dishonesty, those coming forward with stories. If they’re lying then the evidence will come out. But don’t make it harder for others to come forward by attacking someone when there’s no reason to believe they’re being dishonest. I’m not doubting every alleged victim. Just her, because some of the details just don’t make sense. Why do you doubt the testimony of other female ex-girlfriends who defend Chris’s honour? Seems you’re picking and choosing which females you want to believe as well. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2018, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/556 "2018-07-13T01:16:21Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > I’m not doubting every alleged victim. Just her, because some of the details just don’t make sense. Why do you doubt the testimony of other female ex-girlfriends who defend Chris’s honour? Seems you’re picking and choosing which females you want to believe as well. Nonsense. Those “other females” are likely entirely sincere in their reporting of _the behavior they observed_. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2018, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/557 "2018-07-13T01:56:08Z")
> [@Sherrerd](#): > > There does seem to be a position being advanced to the effect that ‘failing to accept an accusation as unquestionably true = an attack on the accuser.’ Nobody is saying it’s unquestionable. That’s what an investigation is, asking questions. The default position ought to be to believe the victim until there is reason not to, and that reason can only come after being questioned. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2018, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/558 "2018-07-13T02:50:57Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > I’m not doubting every alleged victim. Just her, because some of the details just don’t make sense. You’ve presented no reason to suggest that she’s being dishonest. There are no details that “don’t make sense” in any reasonable way. > [@](#): > > Why do you doubt the testimony of other female ex-girlfriends who defend Chris’s honour? Seems you’re picking and choosing which females you want to believe as well. Cite that I’ve expressed such doubt, or kindly retract that statement. And I’m unaware that any other ex-gfs personally witnessed any of the specific instances Dykstra alleged and disputed them. If you have such a cite, please present it. ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2018, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/559 "2018-07-13T06:17:35Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > You’ve presented no reason to suggest that she’s being dishonest. There are no details that “don’t make sense” in any reasonable way. > > Cite that I’ve expressed such doubt, or kindly retract that statement. And I’m unaware that any other ex-gfs personally witnessed any of the specific instances Dykstra alleged and disputed them. If you have such a cite, please present it. No cite necessary. The accounts of Chris Hardwick’s other three ex-girlfriends would appear to contradict the account of Chloe Dykstra. Do you doubt their accounts in favour of Ms. Dykstra’s? ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2018, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/560 "2018-07-13T06:19:39Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Nobody is saying it’s unquestionable. That’s what an investigation is, asking questions. The default position ought to be to believe the victim until there is reason not to, and that reason can only come after being questioned. That’s exactly the same as saying Chris Hardwick is guilty until proven innocent. It flies in the face of due process. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153.md?page=27) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153.md?page=29)