# And Now Chris Hardwick \[domestic abuse allegations\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [June 15, 2018, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153 "2018-06-15T15:28:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 53
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2018, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1041 "2018-08-20T01:58:54Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > This isn’t even an argument. It’s just contradiction. …no it isn’t. octopus contends that “dirty laundry” should be taken to the proper authorities. I define “dirty laundry” as stuff that one or other of the parties in a dispute may not want aired in public. If that is the same definition that octopus uses: then what is the correct proper authority you are supposed to take that too? The police? What are the police going to do about “dirty laundry?” And if that isn’t the same definition that octopus is using, then what is that definition? There is no contradiction. There is no de facto an attempt at mob justice. And I’m not spinning anything. ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2018, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1042 "2018-08-20T02:05:31Z")
An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2018, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1043 "2018-08-20T02:14:25Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition. > [@Biffster](#): > > I get the strong impression that you just like to disagree about stuff. > [@Biffster](#): > > Did you actually any of the rest of the post? Or are you too busy looking for things you want to disagree with? …this really is getting fucking tiresome. Let me know when you are ready to address the substance of my post. ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2018, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1044 "2018-08-20T02:21:47Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …this really is getting fucking tiresome. > > Let me know when you are ready to address the substance of my post. Likewise. According to you, yours are the only contributions that matter. What exactly would you like to discuss? ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2018, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1045 "2018-08-20T02:24:55Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …no it isn’t. > > octopus contends that “dirty laundry” should be taken to the proper authorities. > > I define “dirty laundry” as stuff that one or other of the parties in a dispute may not want aired in public. > > If that is the same definition that octopus uses: then what is the correct proper authority you are supposed to take that too? The police? What are the police going to do about “dirty laundry?” And if that isn’t the same definition that octopus is using, then what is that definition? > > There is no contradiction. There is no de facto an attempt at mob justice. And I’m not spinning anything. I would define dirty laundry as the rather mundane kinds of disagreements between people that may be discomforting but certainly do not need to be shared with the world at large. I believe that is exactly what Chloe Dykstra chose to share with the world via her essay on Medium. ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2018, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1046 "2018-08-20T02:26:49Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition. Look, if I’m arguing with you I must be taking up a contrary position. Ah, but that’s a lot more than simply saying, “no it isn’t.” Yes it is! No it isn’t! ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2018, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1047 "2018-08-20T02:30:50Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > Likewise. …I have responded to your posts with substance. > [@](#): > > According to you, yours are the only contributions that matter. This is not “according to me.” > [@](#): > > What exactly would you like to discuss? You quoted me. You responded to me. So you tell me. > [@](#): > > I would define dirty laundry as the rather mundane kinds of disagreements between people that may be discomforting but certainly do not need to be shared with the world at large. Based on this definition: what is the correct authority this “dirty laundry” should have been reported too? ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2018, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1048 "2018-08-20T02:46:27Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …I have responded to your posts with substance. > > This is not “according to me.” > > You quoted me. You responded to me. So you tell me. > > Based on this definition: what is the correct authority this “dirty laundry” should have been reported too? If you’re asking me, I don’t think it should have been reported at all. If Chloe truly felt abused or sexually violated, it should have been reported to the police, as close to the date of the occurrence as possible. Do you see how perhaps this does not rise to the level of something worth reporting? I mean, Chloe herself didn’t even think it does. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2018, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1049 "2018-08-20T03:00:59Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > If you’re asking me, …originally I was asking octopus. But you \*really \*wanted to add your voice. So here we are. > [@](#): > > I don’t think it should have been reported at all. That wasn’t my question. See, this is the problem when you barge headlong into a conversation just for the sake of barging headlong into a conversation. The question I asked wasn’t addressed to you. Because I know you didn’t think it should have been reported at all. octopus states that they believe this should have been taken to “the proper authorities”. I wanted to know what octopus considered those “proper authorities” are. If you don’t have an opinion on that, why were you answering the question in the first place? > [@](#): > > If Chloe truly felt abused or sexually violated, it should have been reported to the police, as close to the date of the occurrence as possible. But if was just “dirty laundry” then taking it to the police would be inappropriate, yes? > [@](#): > > Do you see how perhaps this does not rise to the level of something worth reporting? octopus is the person who suggested this should have been reported to the correct authorities, not me. I would suggest you direct this comment to them and not me. ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2018, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1050 "2018-08-20T03:18:18Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …originally I was asking octopus. But you \*really \*wanted to add your voice. So here we are. > > That wasn’t my question. See, this is the problem when you barge headlong into a conversation just for the sake of barging headlong into a conversation. The question I asked wasn’t addressed to you. Because I know you didn’t think it should have been reported at all. octopus states that they believe this should have been taken to “the proper authorities”. I wanted to know what octopus considered those “proper authorities” are. If you don’t have an opinion on that, why were you answering the question in the first place? > > But if was just “dirty laundry” then taking it to the police would be inappropriate, yes? > > octopus is the person who suggested this should have been reported to the correct authorities, not me. I would suggest you direct this comment to them and not me. Make up your mind. Either you’re looking for answers to your questions or you’re not. I’M the one who brought up the term “dirty laundry,” for what it’s worth. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2018, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1051 "2018-08-20T03:45:59Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > Make up your mind. Either you’re looking for answers to your questions or you’re not. …I was looking for an answer to the question I asked. That question was “what is the correct authority one should take “dirty laundry” too?” It was addressed directly at another poster related to a statement that the other poster had made. If you want to reply out-of-context I can’t stop you: but your answer doesn’t address the question I asked. > [@](#): > > I’M the one who brought up the term “dirty laundry,” for what it’s worth. Not worth a lot I’m afraid. ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2018, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1052 "2018-08-20T03:52:22Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …I was looking for an answer to the question I asked. That question was “what is the correct authority one should take “dirty laundry” too?” It was addressed directly at another poster related to a statement that the other poster had made. If you want to reply out-of-context I can’t stop you: but your answer doesn’t address the question I asked. > > Not worth a lot I’m afraid. There’s just no pleasing some people. ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2018, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1053 "2018-08-21T20:07:57Z")
And in happier news… [![](https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180821/64008a2d2d996046704674ce79de5c14.png) ](https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180821/64008a2d2d996046704674ce79de5c14.png) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1054 "2018-08-22T19:47:11Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Lol. Airing dirty laundry onto the internet instead of bringing it to the proper authorities is de facto an attempt at mob justice. Regardless of spin. Being a shitty human being isn’t a crime we prosecute any way other than socially. This goes way back to points made early in this discussion. We sometimes use words in a casual context that are inaccurate in a legal context “I was robbed blind by that used car dealer” But just because you aren’t going to turn it over the cops to prosecute, doesn’t mean that you can’t post a critical yelp review. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2018, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1055 "2018-08-22T19:58:00Z")
> [@Biffster](#): > > If you’re asking me, I don’t think it should have been reported at all. If Chloe truly felt abused or sexually violated, it should have been reported to the police, as close to the date of the occurrence as possible. Do you see how perhaps this does not rise to the level of something worth reporting? I mean, Chloe herself didn’t even think it does. And she didn’t report it. She told a story about it. She did so in a public manner, using the internet, but not referring to Hardwick by name. That isn’t any different than me making it known on my Facebook page that my ex husband cheated on me, except not being even internet famous, I’m unlikely to go viral with my stories. ---
**Author:** ![Kearsen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kearsen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kearsen)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2018, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1056 "2018-08-24T13:31:28Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > And she didn’t report it. She told a story about it. She did so in a public manner, using the internet, but not referring to Hardwick by name. That isn’t any different than me making it known on my Facebook page that my ex husband cheated on me, except not being even internet famous, I’m unlikely to go viral with my stories. I think everyone would be on her side if she had said/posted/talked about him being a shitty human. But the accusations were much stronger than that, she accused him of actual criminal behavior. Things that get people put in jail using words as inflammatory as possible. In order to what? ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2018, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1057 "2018-08-24T14:30:06Z")
> [@Kearsen](#): > > I think everyone would be on her side if she had said/posted/talked about him being a shitty human. But the accusations were much stronger than that, she accused him of actual criminal behavior. Things that get people put in jail using words as inflammatory as possible. In order to what? To get attention. And it worked, but with the consequence of nearly taking away Hardwick’s livelihood. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2018, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1058 "2018-08-24T14:42:50Z")
> [@Kearsen](#): > > I think everyone would be on her side if she had said/posted/talked about him being a shitty human. But the accusations were much stronger than that, she accused him of actual criminal behavior. Things that get people put in jail using words as inflammatory as possible. In order to what? This is a really good point, and I’m probably one of the ones who would very much have been inclined to be on her side. Furthermore, if she had done that – if she had dispassionately described a shitty relationship and a dominating jerk, I doubt anyone would have questioned her truthfulness since we see this sort of crap happen every day. But instead, she chose to use all the sanctimonious jargon of #MeToo to get on the bandwagon and characterize herself as a victim of major abuses, thus triggering all the predictable over-reactions of support for her and retaliation against Hardwick. And that, really, pretty much sums it up in a nutshell. ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2018, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1059 "2018-08-24T16:17:02Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > This is a really good point, and I’m probably one of the ones who would very much have been inclined to be on her side. Furthermore, if she had done that – if she had dispassionately described a shitty relationship and a dominating jerk, I doubt anyone would have questioned her truthfulness since we see this sort of crap happen every day. But instead, she chose to use all the sanctimonious jargon of #MeToo to get on the bandwagon and characterize herself as a victim of major abuses, thus triggering all the predictable over-reactions of support for her and retaliation against Hardwick. And that, really, pretty much sums it up in a nutshell. “I let him sexually assault me.” Sexual assault is not consensual. That contradiction in her story tells you all you need to know. ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2018, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/1060 "2018-08-24T16:29:03Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > This is a really good point, and I’m probably one of the ones who would very much have been inclined to be on her side. Furthermore, if she had done that – if she had dispassionately described a shitty relationship and a dominating jerk, I doubt anyone would have questioned her truthfulness since we see this sort of crap happen every day. But instead, she chose to use all the sanctimonious jargon of #MeToo to get on the bandwagon and characterize herself as a victim of major abuses, thus triggering all the predictable over-reactions of support for her and retaliation against Hardwick. And that, really, pretty much sums it up in a nutshell. This is my viewpoint as well. He was a bad boyfriend, but I feel she attached highly-charged terms to that behavior for the purposes of maximum impact and exposure. I don’t agree that him saying “Don’t drink around me” and “Don’t have guy best friends” constitutes emotional abuse. I don’t agree that him saying “If our relationship doesn’t have intimacy, I think we should breakup.” constitutes sexual abuse. She may not agree with those things and not want to go along, but those seem like reasonable positions to have in a relationship. I feel it’s purposely inflammatory to start calling it emotional and sexual abuse. Whatever lesson she was trying to evoke was lost because we are all caught up in this meta discussion about what is abuse. If instead she said that she didn’t like those requests and realized later she should have left rather than trying to make it work, that would be more impactful. If her messgae was “If he tells you who he is, believe him.” and “If you don’t like what he’s doing, don’t think you can change him.”, then there wouldn’t be any of this controversy. But instead, there’s all this back-and-forth over what I think is a valid debate: Do these actions constitute what is considered abuse? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153.md?page=52) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153.md?page=54)