# And Now Chris Hardwick \[domestic abuse allegations\]
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153
**Category:** Great Debates
**Created:** [June 15, 2018, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153 "2018-06-15T15:28:07Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 9
### Author:  [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/161 "2018-06-16T19:27:25Z")
> [@Biffster](#):
>
> IF she’s telling the truth. Why do you assume she is? Is there any corroboration to her version of events? She doesn’t even name her abuser, which strikes me as odd. He denies any abuse. It’s a she said/he said story. Did she accuse him of anything illegal? Wanting to limit her contact with other males may be a dickish move (if it happened) but it is not illegal. Sounds like a relationship between two consenting adults that went sour. What does she wish to accomplish by making her story public?
So you’re judging a woman for doing nothing more than coming forward and telling her story. Well done in adding, in a small but still real way, to that giant pile of shit that victims and survivors will look at in the future as just more reasons to stay silent, rather than coming forward and speaking out. Why come forward when they will be criticized by strangers for doing nothing more than speaking about their experiences?
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### Author:  [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/162 "2018-06-16T19:50:07Z")
> [@Quimby](#):
>
> I am curious what the people who think she is lying think she stands to gain from making this up? She already had fame in her circle. All this does is invite attack and people calling her “loathsome” and worse. She literally has no reason to make this up.
Fair enough, but just because she believes the relationship was abusive does not in and of itself make the relationship abusive. We need to hear both sides before rushing to condemn either.
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/163 "2018-06-16T19:53:12Z")
> [@Biffster](#):
>
> IF she’s telling the truth. Why do you assume she is?
I’m not a court of law. Her story struck me and others as credible. There’s no good reason to suspect her of lying and every reason to believe the account. Hardwick will get the chance to defend himself. If it turns out to be a lie, that’s a different thing. In the meantime it’s perfectly valid to discuss this matter in terms of what we know is happening in our society.
> [@](#):
>
> Is there any corroboration to her version of events?
If no one saw it it didn’t happen? In any case there’s nothing outlandish about these accusations. We know it happens and is not rate.
> [@](#):
>
> She doesn’t even name her abuser, which strikes me as odd.
How odd. I’m sure naming him would have prompted a different criticism.
> [@](#):
>
> Did she accuse him of anything illegal? Wanting to limit her contact with other males may be a dickish move (if it happened) but it is not illegal.
We as members of a human society are concerned with more than just what is legal. We get to judge whether someone deserves to be in a position of power based on more than just whether he or she has broken the law.
> [@](#):
>
> Sounds like a relationship between two consenting adults that went sour.
This statement is just this close to saying “it wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t want it.” Is that your understanding of abusive relationships?
The kind of behavior described by Dykstra isn’t an innocent fetish. It isn’t just a choice you can make. It’s abuse. People who behave like this on private should be afraid of exposure.
> [@](#):
>
> What does she wish to accomplish by making her story public?
Let’s see what she says:
> [@](#):
>
> I want this to be two things. Number One: Closure. I’m approaching my thirties, finding stability, and quite simply, I want this out of me. But more importantly, Number Two: A warning.
>
> … Because I’m not alone. This kind of relationship is so common, and so easy to slip into. Normalizing behavior happens incredibly quickly, and one can lose track of what is acceptable treatment.
>
> … it serves as a warning for every single one of you, regardless of gender. One of my favorite quotes comes from Bojack Horseman:
> “You know, it’s funny; when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.”
> Please, please, keep an eye out for those red flags.
Looks like a pretty good reason to me. To warn people about men like this, men who too often wield power in our society, men who too often have the assistance of others to help them thrive while doing bad things behind closed doors.
If nothing else, then it will get people to think twice before entering into a personal or professional relationship with Chris Hardwick. That’s a pretty easily understandable goal.
Even better if men who are creepy in private have to start thinking twice about what might happen to them if their behavior gets known by the public.
> [@carnivorousplant](#):
>
> Perhaps they are both right. Perhaps they both behaved badly.
Both behaved badly? So subjecting someone to years of abuse is bad behavior. And being abused is bad behavior. So it’s a wash? 500 years sounds like a choice, Kanye said.
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/164 "2018-06-16T20:03:25Z")
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> Both behaved badly? So subjecting someone to years of abuse is bad behavior. And being abused is bad behavior. So it’s a wash? 500 years sounds like a choice, Kanye said.
No, perhaps they both did bad stuff, not just he.
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/165 "2018-06-16T20:07:29Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#):
>
> No, perhaps they both did bad stuff, not just he.
What kind of bad stuff? Ordinary stuff that ends a relationship? Or actual abuse?
Is there anything in Dykstra’s essay or Hardwick’s reply so far that would lead you to think so?
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### Author:  [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/166 "2018-06-16T20:54:52Z")
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> But let’s look at the bare bones facts of this one case. Chloe Dykstra was in an abusive relationship. She got out of that relationship. She wrote a piece exposing her abuser. As a result, the public will have a better idea of what kind of person Chris Hardwick is and whether or not they want to enter into professional or personal relationships with him. It doesn’t seem to me that this series of facts should result in any criticism of Chloe Dykstra.
Your concern for Ms. Dykstra, and abuse victims everywhere, would feel a lot more genuine if you hadn’t tried to tear down Eron Gjoni (the man who’s expose on an abusive ex later sparked gamergate) for doing the same thing and dismissed his abuse out of hand.
> [@Gamergate](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gamergate/697596/644):
>
> I actually took a look at the original post by Quinn’s ex that started the whole thing. I felt dirty doing it but at this point I don’t think I can hurt her more than she has been hurt and I really wanted to try to understand the situation.
>
> \*\*Well, I didn’t get too far before I started to regret it. What a pathetic piece of shit that post and its author was. \*\*
>
> \*\*Airing so many loads of private, dirty laundry—and every word of it utterly uninteresting to anyone with a life—with such an air of high-handed self-righteousness. \*\*
>
> There’s no justification for it. And there’s even less justification for the mob that then gleefully tore down Quinn’s life and threatened her, her job, and her home.
>
> I hope the people who perpetrated those outrages get tossed in jail, like the ones who did it to Sarkeesian.
>
> Who are these people who are allowed to exercise so much power when they have no sense of proportion, responsibility, or maturity?
Honestly, why is Dykstra worthy of your sympathy while Gjoni is, in your words, “a pathetic piece of shit?”
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### Author:  [@Chisquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chisquirrel)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/167 "2018-06-16T21:18:21Z")
> [@Biffster](#):
>
> IF she’s telling the truth. Why do you assume she is? Is there any corroboration to her version of events? She doesn’t even name her abuser, which strikes me as odd. He denies any abuse. It’s a she said/he said story. Did she accuse him of anything illegal? Wanting to limit her contact with other males may be a dickish move (if it happened) but it is not illegal. Sounds like a relationship between two consenting adults that went sour. What does she wish to accomplish by making her story public?
I dunno. Do you have a guess as to how publishing this would personally benefit her?
Many forms of abuse are not illegal, just like many forms of being an asshole are not illegal.
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### Author:  [@Chisquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chisquirrel)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/168 "2018-06-16T21:20:45Z")
> [@raventhief](#):
>
> A woman sharing her story, specifically in the hopes it will help others avoid the pain she endured, is fucking GRANDSTANDING?
Well, she’s being blamed by some on this very board for staying in the relationship, when he attempted to torpedo her career when she finally left him.
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/169 "2018-06-16T21:54:30Z")
> [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](#):
>
> Your concern for Ms. Dykstra, and abuse victims everywhere, would feel a lot more genuine if you hadn’t tried to tear down Eron Gjoni (the man who’s expose on an abusive ex later sparked gamergate) for doing the same thing and dismissed his abuse out of hand.
>
> Honestly, why is Dykstra worthy of your sympathy while Gjoni is, in your words, “a pathetic piece of shit?”
I gotta say, that’s almost beautiful. Have you been personally saving that for nearly four years, or is there a centralized asshole from which Gamergaters can pull that stuff out?
That guy was a piece of shit and everyone who took that opportunity to publicly brutalize innocent women are all pieces of shit.
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### Author:  [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/170 "2018-06-16T22:07:54Z")
> [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](#):
>
> Honestly, why is Dykstra worthy of your sympathy while Gjoni is, in your words, “a pathetic piece of shit?”
Wasn’t most of the abuse that guy suffered a case of her supposedly sleeping with other guys both while they were together and “broken up”? Only read the tldr version.
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### Author:  [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/171 "2018-06-16T22:16:39Z")
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> I gotta say, that’s almost beautiful. Have you been personally saving that for nearly four years, or is there a centralized asshole from which Gamergaters can pull that stuff out?
Actually, no. I was reading this thread and Dykstra’s post which reminded me of what Gjoni wrote about his ex. I remembered there was a discussion about it here so I decided to refresh my memory. Your posts just happened to jump out with your blatant dismissal of an abuse victim.
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> That guy was a piece of shit and everyone who took that opportunity to publicly brutalize innocent women are all pieces of shit.
I don’t think she (Zoe) was innocent and I’m pretty sure Hardwick’s social-media isn’t without a whole lot brutalization right now. So, again, what’s the difference? Why is Dykstra a hero for exposing her abuser but he’s a scumbag for exposing his?
And for the record: I think Dykstra was right to do it.
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### Author:  [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/172 "2018-06-16T22:18:38Z")
> [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](#):
>
> Actually, no. I was reading this thread and Dykstra’s post which reminded me of what Gjoni wrote about his ex.
Which parts?
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### Author:  [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/173 "2018-06-16T22:23:57Z")
> [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](#):
>
> Your concern for Ms. Dykstra, and abuse victims everywhere, would feel a lot more genuine if you hadn’t tried to tear down Eron Gjoni (the man who’s expose on an abusive ex later sparked gamergate) for doing the same thing and dismissed his abuse out of hand.
>
> Honestly, why is Dykstra worthy of your sympathy while Gjoni is, in your words, “a pathetic piece of shit?”
…I’m going to link to something that some people might find disturbing. Its called the “Zoe Post.” It was written by Eron Gjoni. Its a disgusting document that includes links to private correspondence between Gjoni and the target of his misogynistic rants, but I think its important to add some context here.
> **[thezoepost](https://thezoepost.wordpress.com/)**
Uosdwis characterizes the Zoe post as “an expose on an abusive ex.”
In reality what it is is the deranged rantings of a toxic individual, a conspiracy theory, one that sparked a toxic wave of harassment of women and people of colour on the internet. Gjoni, is to put it bluntly, a pathetic piece of shit. He’s an unapologetic pathetic piece of shit. He is the worst of the worst. Slime. Filth. He is responsible for making the internet worse for women and POC on the net. He does not deserve your defense.
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### Author:  [@Covfefe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covfefe)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/174 "2018-06-16T22:27:03Z")
Whoo! Gamergate!!! I can walk and chew gum at the same time. If I take her account at face value, I don’t question her judgment because I aim to shift any blame from Hardwick. Rather, I would suggest another takeaway for the reader is sometimes (there are exceptions) you have work to do on yourself before being in a relationship that has a shot of being healthy. From how she described her actions, I’m skeptical being with any man would have worked out happily unless she received professional help in the process.
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### Author:  [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/175 "2018-06-16T22:55:48Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#):
>
> In reality what it is is the deranged rantings of a toxic individual, a conspiracy theory, one that sparked a toxic wave of harassment of women and people of colour on the internet. Gjoni, is to put it bluntly, a pathetic piece of shit. He’s an unapologetic pathetic piece of shit. He is the worst of the worst. Slime. Filth. He is responsible for making the internet worse for women and POC on the net. He does not deserve your defense.
He was just a guy who posted about an ex that lied to him so much that he started to doubt his sanity. That other people ran with it and started harassing is not his fault. Chris Hardwick is from Kentucky. If Dykstra’s post would spark a wave of harassment against Kentuckians, would you consider her responsible?
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### Author:  [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/176 "2018-06-16T23:03:09Z")
Nm
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### Author:  [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/177 "2018-06-16T23:08:00Z")
> [@CarnalK](#):
>
> Which parts?
Honestly, their abuse are very different except both were, apparently, in relationships with narcissists. Dykstra’s abuse sounds a lot worse, if one were so crass as to compare people’s abuse. The Zoe post was already posted here. There’s a TL;DR at the bottom of it.
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### Author:  [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/178 "2018-06-16T23:08:49Z")
> [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](#):
>
> He was just a guy who posted about an ex that lied to him so much that he started to doubt his sanity.
…“just a guy?”
Bullshit.
History will remember Gjoni for exactly what he did.
> [@](#):
>
> That other people ran with it and started harassing is not his fault.
There would have been “nothing to run with” if Gjoni hadn’t posted his misogynistic rant.
> [@](#):
>
> Chris Hardwick is from Kentucky. If Dykstra’s post would spark a wave of harassment against Kentuckians, would you consider her responsible?
There are absolutely no fucking comparisons between what Dykstra wrote and what Gjoni did, in either the actual words or the intent. Its insulting that you’ve bought him up in this thread and its insulting that you continue to defend him here. Lets not discuss hypotheticals. We know what happened with goobergate. What happened with goobergate is not happening here so lets not fucking pretend that it is.
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/179 "2018-06-16T23:09:09Z")
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> What kind of bad stuff? Ordinary stuff that ends a relationship? Or actual abuse?
>
> Is there anything in Dykstra’s essay or Hardwick’s reply so far that would lead you to think so?
I haven’t read either account, I think it is none of my business.
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### Author:  [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2018, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-chris-hardwick-domestic-abuse-allegations/816153/180 "2018-06-16T23:11:32Z")
> [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](#):
>
> Honestly, their abuse are very different except both were, apparently, in relationships with narcissists. Dykstra’s abuse sounds a lot worse, if one were so crass as to compare people’s abuse. The Zoe post was already posted here. There’s a TL;DR at the bottom of it.
…Gjoni was not abused. There is no connection between Dykstra and that pathetic piece of filth.
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