# And now Fenris... You will die **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862 "2001-07-26T16:12:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/21 "2001-07-26T18:58:47Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. What is Zenster’s Secret dry rub recipe? Whew! It’s a good thing that you didn’t ask for the ingredients, because he won’t give them up. However, _what_ **Zenster** ’s secret dry rub recipe is simple to answer - wonderful. But here’s a quick rundown of directions: > [@](#): > > A. You will have to pry my recipe out of my cold dead hands. > B. Use more sugar than salt. > C. Use both brown and white (cane) sugar. > D. Careful with the powdered Cumin, it takes over in a hurry. > E. Use a little cornstarch to help bind the rub to the meat. > F. Keep the heat down, you can always add it later. Here’s the update: 1. 2. 3. Wonderful. 4. 5. 6. 7. Irish Wolfhound 8. 9. 10. J. Alfred Prufrock 11. Gleek/Wonderdog 12. 13. Spinal Tap 14. Mouth of Sauron 15. 16. Tuscadero 17. Sinanju 18. Book of Armaments, Chapter 1, verses IX-XXVII 19. She did it for Johnny 20. Forest Green or blue-green/teal depending on my mood ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/22 "2001-07-26T18:59:13Z")
I was debating whether or not to put each of these in a separate post but that probably wouldn’t be fair to fenris. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > **8. List 10 recognizable but nonpornographic synonyms for a women’s private parts (the lower private parts.)** Some of these are what I’ve heard small children call their equipment. 1. Pee pee 2. Kunkun 3. Hiney 4. Butbut 5. yumyum 6. tunnel 7. toto 8. vagina 9. Jane 10. pischa ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/23 "2001-07-26T19:16:09Z")
::rubs hands gleefully:: Ah yes, I see that the the peanut butter is 1/5 gone, and my little pets are leaping to get to the bottom of the cage. More than half the questions have been answered correctly. You are well on your way to saving Fenris. But, I see that you have so far only attempted the **easy** questions. You’ll never save him in time. First Fenris, next global currency domination, then a nap and maybe a burrito, and then **The World!** **Bwahaahahahahahahaaha!** Thinksnow: I know flensed isn’t the proper term. I’m being poetic, and if you consider that the water is “boiling” with piranha and eels, you’ll agree that the term adds dastardly connotations. ---
**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/24 "2001-07-26T19:21:16Z")
I’m with \*\* Scylla **. I don’t care much for wolves myself… \*\* Scylla** had you informed me eralier, I could’ve gotten some great Arakeen Sandworms to get rid of him… ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/25 "2001-07-26T19:26:21Z")
Like sands through the hour glass, so goes the days of our lives. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/26 "2001-07-26T20:36:03Z")
**4. What color is Tubadiva’s hair?** She’s a saucy redhead! ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/27 "2001-07-26T21:28:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*9. List 20 for a man’s > \*\* based on [this](http://www.twistedhumor.com/pp/1999/nov/23.php), here are 26: 1 - mutton dagger 2 - old blind bob 3 - hanging johnny 4 - fishing rod 5 - tallywhacker 6 - pocket rocket 7 - one eyed trouser trout 8 - ding dong 9 - ankle spanker 10 - pork sword 11 - engine cranker 12 - hairy hot dog 13 - davey crocket 14 - wang 15 - wazoo 16 - weinie 17 - whacker 18 - pecker 19 - peepee 20 - kidney cracker 21 - heat seeking moisture missle 22 - giggle stick 23 - love whistle 24 - tube snake 25 - uncle dick 26 - purple helmet warrior ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/28 "2001-07-26T21:56:29Z")
in defense of my dear **Fenris** and of the board itself, I feel I must protest your question #1. We are about to embark on a SBMD-less weekend in order to **S** ave **O** ur **S** erver, and yet you attempt to blackmail the TM’s into brutalizing the search engine in order to save **Fenris** [sub][sup](not that he isn’t worth it ya understand)[/sub][/sup]. the last person who embarked on a **BIGASS** search got yelled at by **Tuba** you understand. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/29 "2001-07-26T23:01:29Z")
So when Fenris views this thread or makes a post to help save his LIFE, he’s ALSO contributing to his own DEATH! …that is SPECTACULARLY EVIL!! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/30 "2001-07-26T23:43:51Z")
So what happens after? I mean, what happens after **Fenris** is devoured by pirhanas & eels (oh come on, people, you know this thread will reach 100 posts. We’re just that way around here)? What are we supposed to do, just sit around here all Fenrisless & stuff? That’ll be kinda boring. Couldn’t you just give him a wedgie or something? ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/31 "2001-07-27T00:26:46Z")
Eh, I just did a search and it took all of about 10 seconds to give me the results. Can’t imagine the admins would be too upset about that. I think doing Subject Line only searches is far less taxing on the server because it’s not searching every word in every reply in every post in the entire forum. Now, copying and pasting and coding all the URLs to this reply - _that_ took some time, but I’m donating it for free for the cause. 🙂 Here’s the answer to question #1… (Caveat - I did not include threads that were non-specific, like, “Ask me anything” or the “Don’t ask me anything” threads, because those don’t really fit the “category” IMHO.) [list=1] [li][aSK THE DRUNK GUY!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=76403)[/li][li][Ask The Supreme Leader](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=76057)[/li][li][ask the Californian teen](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=72501)[/li][li][What the hell…Ask the Lesbian…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=69670)[/li][li][Ask An Elf on Summer Vacation](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68056)[/li][li][Yet another… Ask the Young Teen Boy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=69688)[/li][li][Ask Bi Guy, (or ‘Cheffie takes one more step out of the closet’)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68566)[/li][li][Ask Dr. aha, sex therapist](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=50867)[/li][li][Ask the Pseudo-Norwegian Chick](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=41843)[/li][li][Ask the Swedish chick](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=30818)[/li][li][Ask the Call Center Computer Tech!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=39358)[/li][li][Ask the Grammar Harpy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28432)[/li][li][Ask the Turing Test](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=33812)[/li][li][Ask the Apathetic Guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=32238)[/li][li][Ask the Guys who are in Love with Techchick](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=31528)[/li][li][Ask Another English Bloke (reprise)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=31411)[/li][li][Just Ask Slutboy - Academy for Debauchery](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=31403)[/li][li][Ask the Evil Overlord](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=30467)[/li][li][Ask the hand](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=30972)[/li][li][Ask the Spiritual Advisor!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=30916)[/li][li][Ask the Brit bloke](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28301)[/li][li][Ask the Geography Maven](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=30184)[/li][li][Mate, ask the Aussie (it was inevitable)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28699)[/li][li][Ask the aging rock star](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28413)[/li][li][Ask the Culinary School Student!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28711)[/li][li][Ask the future bloodsucker! Or, an open letter to MaxTorque.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=29414)[/li][li][Ask The Barista… (Coffee girl, to you)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=29026)[/li][li][Ask The Dead Chipmunk](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28939)[/li][li][Ask the Kiwi bloke](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28756)[/li][li][Ask the artist](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28555)[/li][li][Ask the Putz!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=29011)[/li][li][Ask the Canadian, eh?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28683)[/li][li][Ask the non-committal guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28960)[/li][li][Ask the weatherman!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28786)[/li][li][Ask the troll buster.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=29083)[/li][li][Ask the Sarcastic Guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28800)[/li][li][Ask the former stripper/current housewife( and mother)/raving bitch.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28836)[/li][li][Ask the guy who doesn’t believe in the Bermuda Triangle.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28937)[/li][li][Ask the retired Air Force guy (I may as well jump on the bandwagon!)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28909)[/li][li][Ask the guy with no area of expertise](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28917)[/li][li][Ask the guy who hijacks other people’s ‘‘Ask the (fill in the blank)’’ threads](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28866)[/li][li][Ask The Intergalactic Muffin](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28781)[/li][li][ask the nudist.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28744)[/li][li][Ask the British History Geek](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28582)[/li][li][Ask That Hindenburg Announcer Guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28738)[/li][li][Ask the Pro Wrestler!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28771)[/li][li][Ask the Misanthrope](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28847)[/li][li][Ask the medieval re-enactor…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28721)[/li][li][Ask the Medical Student!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28552)[/li][li][Ask a mad bomber](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28766)[/li][li][Ask the Irish Bloke](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28480)[/li][li][Ask the Felcher](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28739)[/li][li][Ask the kid who doesn’t know much of anything](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28621)[/li][li][Ask the modeler/projectionist](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28634)[/li][li][Ask The Magic 8-Ball](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28447)[/li][li][Ask the Hired Killer!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28574)[/li][li][Ask the Gator guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=20720)[/li][li][Ask the (not quite) starving Opera Singer!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=20124)[/li][li][Ask the belly dancer!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=20101)[/li][li][Ask the doctor of Love](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=20040)[/li][li][Ask Dr. Love](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=20038)[/li][li][Ask the hermaphroditic wookiee molester!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=19974)[/li][li][Ask the Psychotropic drug guy?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=19971)[/li][li][Ask the attention starved sycophant!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=19921)[/li][li][Ask the Gay Guy IV!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68530)[/li][li][Ask the Nihilistic Anarchist with unpopular ideas about the world](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=70605)[/li][li][Ask the Black Guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=67952)[/li][li][Ask the American Teen](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=71759)[/li][li][Ask the Neo-Pagan Guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68538)[/li][li][Ask the Transgendered Person](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=67415)[/li][li][(Might as well) Ask the Blaquneese guy!!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68329)[/li][li][Ask the closeted bisexual guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23013)[/li][li][Ask the straight, white, married, employed guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=67940)[/li][li][Ask the Gay Guy III!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=39308)[/li][li][Ask the Recreational Drug User!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=39356)[/li][li][Ask the Disorganized Theist!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=39357)[/li][li][Ask the Gay Guy II!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24008)[/li][li][Ask the Islamic guys](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=32920)[/li][li][Ask the Mormon Gal!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=27968)[/li][li][Ask the Libertarian Objectivist Christian](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28304)[/li][li][Ask the Commie Bastard!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28364)[/li][li][Ask the teenager!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28214)[/li][li][Ask the guy with poorly constructed answers and lame attempts at humor!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28471)[/li][li][Ask the guy who will never open this thread!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28494)[/li][li][Ask The Ambiguous Guy. Or Don’t.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28450)[/li][li][Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23047)[/li][li][Ask the KM2](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23065)[/li][li][Ask the drunk guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=22898)[/li][li][Ask the Gator guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=22883)[/li][li][Ask the white, male, upper middle class, somewhat conservative, taxpayer](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=22836)[/li][li][Ask the “straight” guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=22767)[/li][li][Ask the heterosexual virgin!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=22667)[/li][li][Ask the rape survivor](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=76180)[/li][li][Ask a white, twentysomething, corporate professional guy…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=76216)[/li][li][Ask the fairly average British bloke\*](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=72792)[/li][li][Ask the Paralyzed Guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68558)[/li][li][Ask the guy who’s getting kinda bored of all these “Ask the \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_Guy” Threads.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68123)[/li][li][Ask The Teenager II !](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=66824)[/li][li][Ask a Gamer](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=45582)[/li][li][Ask the WI guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=25899)[/li][li][Ask the Grammar Gurus](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=35909)[/li][/list=1] Now aren’t all you new posters glad you weren’t around for _this_ phase of the boards? 😉 * * * Jeg elsker dig, Thomas ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/32 "2001-07-27T01:03:34Z")
Ok, Dr. Scyl LaChoo, you vile fiend, the first flaw in your questions _might_ have been a part of your plan, but even you don’t expect our fellow Dopers to believe that a second flaw was _also_ part of your evil plot? In question 15 you ask: in the Parody Bored of the Rings what did the Nazgul ride? _There were no Nazgul in Bored of the Rings!_ Once I point this out on the computer you so “kindly” provided it replies: “But. If. There. Is. No. Answer. To. This. Question. Then. You. Have. Answered. Correctly. But. If. There. Is. No Answer. You. Cannot. Have. Answered. Correctly.” It promptly explodes, like computers always did on Star Trek. The force of the explosion destroys my cage and I leap to freedom, where Mrs wring (in black leather) of course, hands me my bowler hat and umbrella. We stroll out as the kitty eats the mice and the groundhogs are fed to the fish and the eels. The Koala takes a hang-glider and escapes to freedom. As I leave, I press the button labled “For Chrissake DON’T push me or the whole freakin’ island’ll go up like a roman candle!” Once again I make my escape with any number of Doper-Babes ( **wring** , **Shayna** and all the other Doper-Babes who’ve helped me out) and we escape in a sea-plane. As the low rumble and plumes of smoke behind us warn us of your island hideout’s imminant explosion. We all turn and watch the Doper-Guys who’ve helped out in the thread escape in your private speedboat filled with your entire stock of beer. As both plane and boat leave, the island explodes again with another earth-shattering Ka-Boom! Same ending, on the train. But, just in case, I’ll point out that in “Bored of the Rings”, the Nozdrul rode pigs. Bond, Fenris Bond ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/33 "2001-07-27T01:56:35Z")
Scylla, I think you’ve overlooked the fact that such a quantity of peanut butter is probably going to have some interesting gastrointestinal lubricating effects on the mammals eating it. They’re going to be taking unexpected breaks to run off to hide in little corners while doing a smelly unpleasant business… ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/34 "2001-07-27T02:27:09Z")
It’s National Koala Day today. Think of the koala, people! ---
**Author:** ![Wastrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f17d59/32.png) [@Wastrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wastrel)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/35 "2001-07-27T03:13:01Z")
Hmmm…I can see it now: Fenris: You’ve made your point, **Scylla** , but do you expect me to talk? Scylla: No, **Mr. Fenris** , I expect you to _die_. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/36 "2001-07-27T03:16:30Z")
My dear Fenris: You are wasting your time trying to find flaws in my questions. Why would the fact that the question is arguably phrased poorly cause it to blow up (it’s not an Apple?) All the computer cares about is the correct answer. For question 15, the computer is looking for the answer “pigs.” You have answered it correctly. There is no problem. You’re still stuck in the cage. Lest you seek to continue on in this vein let me remind you that the computer blowing up does not necessarily mean that the door to the cage swings open. The most likely outcome of screwing with the computer’s programming is that you break it and the door doesn’t open, no matter what. I will tell you out of simple kindness, that if you are trying to cheat my dastardly plan byy arguing about the content of the questions, you will surely fail. My trap is complex, and if you seek to escape without answering the questions you may wish to concentrate your efforts elsewhere. For example, notice that I am not standing anywhere near the edge of the pool. Besides, It appears that people somehow actually like you, (misguided Baboons that they are. They should be down on their knees worshipping **me!** ) Finally Fenris, let me warn you that if you do escape from the cage by cheating the questions, I will simply throw somebody else in there to take your place. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/37 "2001-07-27T03:39:28Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan:_ > > Scylla, I think you’ve overlooked the fact that such a quantity of peanut butter is probably going to have some interesting gastrointestinal lubricating effects on the mammals eating it. They’re going to be taking unexpected breaks to run off to hide in little corners while doing a smelly unpleasant business… What makes you so sure they will run off to corners to do their business? Being so fond of peanut butter, the greedy little so-and-so’s may well stay just where they’re at–thus replacing the weight reduced by their eating with the weight of their. . .um . . .how to put this delicately? . . .end product. \*_Fenris_ is therefore not in any life threatening danger, although I imagine he’s awfully bored in that cage. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/38 "2001-07-27T03:58:51Z")
Ah, I can just see **Scylla** now, reclining in the Chair of Ultimate Power, contemplating his immense evil empire… ooops, soory Fenris. How’s the peanut butter level? ---
**Author:** ![Wastrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f17d59/32.png) [@Wastrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wastrel)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/39 "2001-07-27T04:07:32Z")
1. There isn’t one. Whew that was easier than I thought…Huh? You’re telling me there IS a reason for the quadratic formula? Aw shucks, I shoulda paid more attention in Algebra. Mmmm…peanut butter…_drools_ ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862/40 "2001-07-27T04:09:12Z")
Oh **Scylla** , you’ver reminded me of a terribly funny inside joke. “I love you” “Yeah, I know, I know, but I want you to get down on your _knees_ and tell me you love me!” I’m sure that’s not what you meant though… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-fenris-you-will-die/73862.md?page=3)