# And now I'm going to put her down....(Update) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 3, 2006, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254 "2006-01-03T18:21:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/21 "2006-01-03T21:50:53Z")
Ok- so _she’s_ coming on to you, **Mr. Bus Guy**. But you didn’t take her up on the bait. And you are absolutely correct in that: > [@](#): > > Really, it’s up to me, not her. It\* is\* all up to you-no one has the power to make you cheat or to destroy your marriage except for\* you\*. > [@](#): > > \*\*Uncommon Sense \*\* As in the origingal thread, I still say that no good will come of this. 2-1 odds that in six months or so we’ll be reading a thread titled, “My wife dumped me.” > God, I hope not, but all the elements are still there for a bad ending. > > Sounds like Mr Bus Guy was testing the boundaries of both the wife and the old flame. > From someone whose been there… You know, maybe I’m naive but I still don’t read **Mr. Bus Guy** as testing the boundaries of either but instead being naturally curious. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/22 "2006-01-03T21:53:31Z")
See!? You chose the interesting path in life, and you get gonzo sex for at least a week for your troubles! I think Mr. Bus Guy is a winner all around here. Good work. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/23 "2006-01-03T22:20:25Z")
**BusGuy** --I’m glad I didn’t offend you with my post. She strikes me as phoney, though. I’m sure she’s great and all, but short of throwing herself onto the table at Panera, she made it quite obvious that if you had so much as hinted at some action–she’s there with bells on. This may sound all wrong, but if you really like that perfume, find out what it is and get some for MBG–she doesn’t have to know the background, and I seriously doubt you want her to wear it as a reminder of Susan, so… IF Susan keeps cornering you-you may have to get rude. And make sure that MBG is informed of every step. This beats housework, I tell ya! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/24 "2006-01-03T22:23:32Z")
This would not have gone well at Kasa Kalhoun. I’m glad The Bus Couple has the kind of relationship that can weather it. I know we’d be in six kinds of shit over something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/25 "2006-01-03T22:30:01Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > **BusGuy** --I’m glad I didn’t offend you with my post Nah, not at all. Like I said, those same thoughts crossed my mind. If anything, thinking of her thinking she could manipulate me like that may help keep her in the background. > [@elanorigby](#): > > This may sound all wrong, but if you really like that perfume, find out what it is and get some for MBG–she doesn’t have to know the background, and I seriously doubt you want her to wear it as a reminder of Susan, so… I’m not a guy that remembers those things - perfumes. I know when I like one but if she had told me, I’d have forgotten the name anyway. I suppose I could hermetically seal this sweater and run it to the Colunter of Smelly Things at Fields and have the lady do me a copmarison, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/26 "2006-01-03T22:45:24Z")
Look for her to start accidentally running into you into public often. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/27 "2006-01-03T22:45:44Z")
Better run to the counter at Field’s quickly–soon to be Field’s no more (and that thought makes me cry). I dunno how this would go down here. I think we’d be OK with it. I was extremely pissed at my wedding when a woman who had wanted to date my then BF/fiancee came to my wedding wearing a tea-length, beaded white satin dress… :rolleyes: adn then I felt sorry for her. sorry for hijack ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/28 "2006-01-03T22:58:31Z")
**Mr. Bus Guy** , after lurking through both your threads, I have to say your wife is my new hero. I’m not sure that I would be able to maintain that kind of composure, although I’d like to think I’d try. The one that got away ain’t nothin’ to the one you caught. Congrats to you. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/29 "2006-01-04T01:05:24Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > **Mr. Bus Guy** , after lurking through both your threads, I have to say your wife is my new hero. I’m not sure that I would be able to maintain that kind of composure, although I’d like to think I’d try. The one that got away ain’t nothin’ to the one you caught. Congrats to you. Thanks, I’ll pass that along. I happen to agree, which is no small part of why I could walk away like I did. Brief update while I’m here. The wife got home 30 minutes ago, and just said “details?” So I filled her in quickly. She came to same conclusion as **eleanorigby** , that there was no good a-brewing, so isn’t all happy about that. But she’s secure that I did the right thing, and she trusts me, which is huge in my book. There was a time, she would have had something to worry about, and reason to doubt me, and I like that we seem past that. Oh crap, did I grow up or something? Anyway, the salmon is in the broiler, the salad’s ready and we’re having dinner. Then I understand I am obligated to other things tonight. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/30 "2006-01-04T01:56:31Z")
Dude, you’re not following the clothing optional suggestion, are you? Cause I don’t want to read something typed by a naked dude. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/31 "2006-01-04T02:01:26Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > Dude, you’re not following the clothing optional suggestion, are you? Cause I don’t want to read something typed by a naked dude. Shhhhhh - he’s boinking the wife. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/32 "2006-01-04T02:26:09Z")
My guess? Old Flame was doing some face-saving and still has designs on you. She’d like it to be a “oh, I was trying to be so noble, but your manliness has just overwhelmed me!” sort of thing and the very first time you give her any indication that you’re interested, she’ll trip you and be underneath when you land. You did a great job, Mr. Bus Guy, but do not spend another moment with that woman. There’s something very wrong with her. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/33 "2006-01-04T11:59:27Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > Anyway, the salmon is in the broiler, the salad’s ready and we’re having dinner. Then I understand I am obligated to other things tonight. 😃 Ooh…this sounds wonderful. What a great way to spend an evening. I like salmon. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/34 "2006-01-04T12:07:54Z")
Nice one, **Mr Bus Guy** ; this is actually what _‘forsaking all others’_ means; not just \*‘forsaking others who are not gagging for it’[i/]. Well done - here’s hoping that you and your wife reap great rewards from this act of will. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/35 "2006-01-04T12:21:14Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > I was extremely pissed at my wedding when a woman who had wanted to date my then BF/fiancee came to my wedding wearing a tea-length, beaded white satin dress… :rolleyes: > > adn then I felt sorry for her. Please, do tell this story. **Bus Guy** : You done good. I’m proud of you. I agree with others that say to be ready to “accidentally” run into her again. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/36 "2006-01-04T13:45:55Z")
You did good **MBG**. 😃 What else is there to say? You did good. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/37 "2006-01-10T19:32:23Z")
My apologies for resurrecting this, but I just read [this article](http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/01/10/BAGC5GKONE1.DTL) and was instantly reminded of this thread. It’s pretty startling how many people end up doing more than just getting together for a cup of coffee… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/38 "2006-01-10T20:38:42Z")
**Mr Bus Gu** , sir, I salute you. _hand over heart_ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/39 "2006-01-10T20:56:30Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > My apologies for resurrecting this, but I just read [this article](http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/01/10/BAGC5GKONE1.DTL) and was instantly reminded of this thread. It’s pretty startling how many people end up doing more than just getting together for a cup of coffee… I’m glad you resurrected it, **Maureen** , as I somehow missed it the first go-round. I lurked through the first thread and was wondering how things went. I agree with most of what’s being said here. **MrBusGuy** , you handled things perfectly, especially considering all the little traps this woman set for you. She sounds like Trouble-with-a-capital-T. On the other hand, it sounds like she doesn’t want to make a fool of herself by throwing herself in front of someone who doesn’t want her, so hopefully this is the end of it. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2006, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254/40 "2006-01-10T21:18:38Z")
No sign, no word at all since then, but this was an interesting tidbit I never added: I mentioned the lingering scent on my sweater. At the end of the day I was rushed when I got home, and never got the thing into the wash. At night, Wife was picking things up off the floor (heh-heh 😉 ) and she grabbed the sweater, sniffed and asked me how I got her perfume on my sweater. Huh? :eek: Oh, dear you mean YOURS? Um…it seems the reason I liked the way Susan smelled that morning, was probably because it was (unconsciously I swear) familiar. Told you I was a perfume dork. Anyway, I 'fessed up that it musta been left that morning. And did some ‘splainin’. Sweater tossed in the hamper. “YOU better wash that, I’m not going to” No damage to ME in the long run surprisingly. In fact a couple mornings later, as she’s leaving for work, BW hugs me, and says “I smell nice?” I STILL can’t tell you what it’s called, I keep forgetting to sniff bottles on her dresser. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-im-going-to-put-her-down-update/338254.md?page=3)