# And now, the Republican version... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 31, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785 "2004-07-31T23:36:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/21 "2004-08-01T05:11:06Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > I call a “Hi Opal!” violation. “Hi Opal!” is only used if it is the third _and last_ item of a list which would otherwise consist of exactly two items. Yeah, I know. I had not seen it in while and just kinda missed it. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/22 "2004-08-01T05:18:34Z")
> [@Muad'Dib](#): > > Yeah, I know. I had not seen it in while and just kinda missed it. You children are so simply amused. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/23 "2004-08-01T06:35:16Z")
> [@Mr. Moto](#): > > Be that as it may, when I apply for a job I expect my employer to focus much more on my current position than one I held more than thirty years ago. Sure, but focusing on his accomplishments of the last four years is the _last_ thing Bush wants. 😉 As for “calculated derision,” with any luck, they’ll tap Ann Coulter as chief joke-writer. The audience backlash from that would send Bush’s ratings into negative numbers. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/24 "2004-08-01T06:44:12Z")
> [@Mr. Moto](#): > > Be that as it may, when I apply for a job I expect my employer to focus much more on my current position than one I held more than thirty years ago. Gee… the Republican party has been beating a drum of family values and character. Our President’s character is highly suspect, and that his service to the country is in question is just the beginning of a long line of things which make Billy Carter look more Presidential in comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/25 "2004-08-01T11:53:56Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > Assuming the above is true, are there _any_ Republicans on this board reading it and cringing, thinking “why do they have to be such low-life assholes, instead of just defeating Kerry on the issues?” So, are all Republicans on this board morally bankrupt? Won’t anyone come out and say they have a problem with a National Convention planning on making their opponent an object of humor and calculated derision? ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/26 "2004-08-01T12:17:07Z")
I think humor and derision might backlash against the Republican party. In a lot of the coverage I read of the Democratic convention, people seemed to have responded to the seriousness and gravitas of the speakers. If the Republicans come off as snarky, I think they run the risk of seeming like policy lightweights compared to Kerry’s boring, but knowledgable image. In this election, Americans seem to be taking their politics pretty seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/27 "2004-08-01T12:24:13Z")
I’m thinking that the Republicans realize that the convention is aimed primarily at the party faithful. They will laugh and cheer. The liberals will roll their eyes. The independent/undecided will mostly ignore it and try to focus on the issues. Or maybe the republicans are trying to seem more “hip” or “with it.” They are trying to pick up young/independent voters by being more entertaining. Kerry is not exactly the funniest guy I’ve ever seen, but he’s a far better public speaker than Bush. Humor and personality might be a way around that. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/28 "2004-08-01T12:45:01Z")
I think you are right **Harborwolf** (cool name, btw). The Republicans are still trying to mobilize their base, while the Democrats can move on to the undecideds. If anything, the Democrat base is hypermobilized. Is there such a thing as mobilization fatigue? As a Democrat, I’m actually getting cautiously optimistic. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/29 "2004-08-01T13:53:55Z")
I’m waiting for Kerry to respond to the charges of changing his mind on the Iraq War, by saying: “Yeah, I changed my mind because the administration fed us false information.” I wonder if Bush, in his attacks, will mention how he’s the “uniter” President who can work with everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/30 "2004-08-01T14:43:44Z")
Many act as though changing your mind on an issue is something just short of criminal activity. Save one lone voice of sanity, the Patriot Act passed overwhelmingly, in most cases without even being read. Many from both sides of the aisle are now having second thoughts about it, as witnessed by the most recent narrow vote. Should we now condemn all these lawmakers for having the courage of their convictions to publicly recant their support? The Pubs have _nothing_ on this guy, and it’s making them crazy. They have to discredit him somehow and this is the best they can come up with. It’s lame, and it won’t work. > [@](#): > > From **Mr. Moto** : That liberal Senate voting record, of course, hasn’t been much in evidence lately. Kerry missed 64 percent of Senate business last year, and 89 percent so far this year. This has been beaten to death in other threads. Nearly all of those running for President missed a large portion of votes during the campaign period. It’s considered an ‘excused absence’ by those that make those decisions. It’s not uncommon, nor is it worth debating. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/31 "2004-08-01T15:10:12Z")
And the “liberal” voting record simply plays to the fans. It’s not going to change a lot of minds amongst the undecided. “Holy Carp!! A liberal that votes liberal!?!?! That does it. I’m voting republican.” Never gonna hear that. The really tough part is that Bush’s everything has been under far more scrutiny for the last four years while Kerry has hardly been looked at. It’s not an easy thing to be the incumbent. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/32 "2004-08-01T15:48:28Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > I’m waiting for Kerry to respond to the charges of changing his mind on the Iraq War, by saying: "Yeah, I changed my mind because the administration fed us false information. That is certain to come up in the debates - which is going to be the next round of decisionmaking, not the next 2 months of campaigning. Bush needs to assuage doubts about his capability and leadership if he wants to do more than shore up his base. Sneers won’t do it. Did you all realize how hard it is to type with a puppy in your lap trying to help press the keys? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/33 "2004-08-01T16:09:49Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Did you all realize how hard it is to type with a puppy in your lap trying to help press the keys? [Yes!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=36846) ---
**Author:** ![spectrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@spectrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spectrum)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/34 "2004-08-01T16:28:46Z")
> [@Mr. Moto](#): > > Let’s be honest for a second here. The Democratic Convention avoided any mention of John Kerry’s achievements in the Senate, principally because these have been few. That is a load of bullshit. Kerry in his speech mentioned accomplishments of his Senate career, as did many other speakers throughout the convention. What they didn’t mention are legislative accomplishments, because he hasn’t prepared a great deal of legislation. Instead, he’s been a very successful user of judicial oversight, leading special commissions and investigations – appropriate, since he was a criminal prosecutor early in life. You don’t have to write a dozen famous laws to be a successful me mber of the Senate. > [@](#): > > That liberal Senate voting record, of course, hasn’t been much in evidence lately. Kerry missed 64 percent of Senate business last year, and 89 percent so far this year. Another canard. Most of the votes he’s missed have been cloture votes, where Democrats are normally seeking to block cloture, so his vote would do nothing, and unanimous consent agreements, where Daschle and Frist have already worked out the result, and everyone either votes “yay” or abstains, because if anyone votes no, everything comes unravelled. A large portion of Senators make no efforts to vote on UCAs, because it’s just not required. Has Kerry missed real votes? Yes. But no worse than George W. Bush missed duties as Texas Governor in 2000, or is missing them as President today. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/35 "2004-08-01T16:33:08Z")
I can already envision Arnold taking pot shots at the “girly men”, like the prototypical high-school jock hurling insults at the nerds. And then the crowd will clap and whoop, because the jock-boy made a funny. Such sad times in American politics. ---
**Author:** ![WernhamHogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a587f6/32.png) [@WernhamHogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WernhamHogg)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/36 "2004-08-01T16:40:11Z")
A spoiled brat like Bush who skipped out on the war, skipped out on guard duty, and has never had to put in hard day’s work calling anyone a “girly man” is the joke. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/37 "2004-08-01T16:45:11Z")
But…but…he was a cheerleader for Yale! ---
**Author:** ![laigle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@laigle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laigle)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/38 "2004-08-01T16:58:31Z")
> [@skutir](#): > > A spoiled brat like Bush who skipped out on the war, skipped out on guard duty, and has never had to put in hard day’s work calling anyone a “girly man” is the joke. Bah. Kerry lacked the courage to defend Texas from the Vietnamese. Not Alabama, nobody cares about them, but Texas needed a saviour. Kerry snuck away in the dead of night, straight out of the country he was supposed to be defending. And where did he wind up? Vietnam, the very country we were at war with. I think you can guess what that means. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/39 "2004-08-01T17:28:26Z")
Good point! When Kerry was in Viet Nam, Americans were dying there every day, but as long as GeeDubya was in Texas, there was not so much as a _single_ attack by the Viet Cong Air Force! So, who does a better job of protecting Americans? ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785/40 "2004-08-01T17:34:19Z")
Also, couldn’t you call Kerry a draft-dodger? I mean, people who volunteered to fight didn’t get drafted, and Kerry must have _known_ that when he volunteered, right? > [@laigle](#): > > Bah. Kerry lacked the courage to defend Texas from the Vietnamese. Not Alabama, nobody cares about them, but Texas needed a saviour. Kerry snuck away in the dead of night, straight out of the country he was supposed to be defending. And where did he wind up? Vietnam, the very country we were at war with. I think you can guess what that means. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-now-the-republican-version/257785.md?page=3)